


A Darker Shade Of Love

by Polarnacht



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Betrayal, Collars, Dark, Dom Jace Wayland, Dom Magnus Bane, Dubious Morality, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Killing, Knifeplay, Light Dom/sub, Love, M/M, Marking, Multi, Oral Sex, Parabatai Bond, Polyamory, Rebellion, Rough Sex, Self-Harming Alec Lightwood, Smut, Sub Alec Lightwood, Threesome - M/M/M, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:14:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 55,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27945863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polarnacht/pseuds/Polarnacht
Summary: After Alec lies about the Soul Sword, Magnus breaks up with him, turning his back not only on him but the Accords and the Clave in general. He is done playing nice and watching Shadowhunters rule over his Downworld. He rallies his allies to lead a rebellion and take the reins in the Shadow World.Jace sacrifices his freedom and goes with Valentine to his ship. When he manages to escape and return home, he has to realize that there is no home any longer waiting for him - he is disowned by Maryse and Robert, imprisoned by the Clave and sentenced to be de-runed. When Alec, pressured and threatened by the Clave and Maryse, is about to see through with his punishment, Jace fights his way free. Betrayed by the Clave and foremost by his Parabatai, he wants revenge and turns to the only person powerful enough to help him: Magnus.Magnus and Jace join forces and soon become lovers. When Jace’s birthday is due, Magnus gifts him the one thing Jace truly desires: Alec. Will Alec be able to regain their trust and love by submitting to them? Will they gain control over Idris and rule it under Magnus’ lead? Or will everything fall apart further?Happy Ending; Malace Endgame
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Jace Wayland
Comments: 122
Kudos: 304





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nadja_Lee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/gifts).



> Happy Birthday Nadja!! I hope you enjoy your gift as well as your day! You're amazing! 💙
> 
> Many thanks to Jessa for being my beta 💙 
> 
> Make sure to read the tags & to check out the amazing art made by Jessa on her AO3 account - just click the related work link below!
> 
> A huge thank you to Nadja_Lee and Regina Danica for the amazing banner 💙

Though the Shadow World as a whole was on edge - a threat of war hovering above them - Magnus felt more at ease than in ages. He was well aware of the danger Valentine embodied; having fought against him and his Circle in the first battle called the Uprising. But there were always threats lingering in the Shadow World. Truly peaceful times were rare. But he hoped that the current time was a time of change. Change for the better, towards more equality amongst Shadowhunters and Downworlders, who were still oppressed in many areas of daily life. But the new generation, at least the ones he had met and got to know more closely, seemed to strive for that change. 

Besides, or maybe above all, Magnus seemed to have fallen in love. It had come unexpected like love mostly did. Love wanted to be found, not sought for. And Magnus had long ago given up looking for love. But one day, four Shadowhunters had stood on his doorstep and demanded help - in their unique way of demanding things that weren’t theirs to demand but did so anyway. Though he had been reluctant to help at the beginning, he had agreed to do so. That their leader, Alexander, had been one of the most intriguing persons Magnus had met in ages had surely helped to make up his mind. 

Before he had known what had stricken him, Magnus had been in love. He felt secure in this love, as much as he felt secure in this time of change. Alexander was a serious and shy young man, but he had soon opened up towards him, flourishing under Magnus’ attention. Soon it was clear that they felt more than friendship, and Alexander’s promises of love and devotion had been music to Magnus’ love starved ears. Without really realizing it, he had let down a guard he had carefully built up over decades, and let the Shadowhunter in. And it felt good. It felt right. 

Magnus was humming contentedly. He had spent the night and the morning with Alexander at his loft before Alexander had to go back to the Institute to handle some Shadowhunter business. Magnus had seized the chance to stock up his potions and brew some new ones. But now he was just waiting for his old friend to arrive. 

Magnus was looking forward to his meeting with Luke. He had been so busy lately with his Alexander, and the mess the other Shadowhunters had lured him into, that he had neglected his old friends and acquaintances. 

“Lucian! What a pleasure to see you again!” Magnus greeted his friend cheerfully when Luke stepped through the portal he had provided, leading Luke directly to his living room. With a grin, he shoved a drink in Luke’s hand but the smile froze on his lips when he saw the serious expression on Luke’s face. Something was wrong that went beyond the usual things that were always wrong in the Shadow World.

“We need to talk.” Luke’s voice was as grave as his expression. 

Magnus sighed and placed the drinks on the couch table, gesturing for Luke to sit down. They could at least sit while Luke was dropping the world’s weight on his shoulders. He settled down and downed his drink, weary of what was to come. He blinked a few times while he tried to concentrate on the things Luke explained to him. 

“Magnus. Do you know about the Soul Sword?” Luke watched him with a concerned look in his eyes. He had chosen a seat opposite Magnus and so far not touched his drink.

“The Clave has retrieved it and given it back to the Silent Brothers. I would prefer if we had it, as it can destroy _us._ But as long as it's safe from Valentine, I won’t complain.”

“Well, Magnus, that is the problem. The Clave doesn’t have it. The truth is they have no idea where the damn Sword is. And they don't even have the common sense and decency to let us know!” The longer Luke talked, the more agitated he got. 

Magnus, on the contrary, went very still. He swallowed once, trying to compass what he had heard. 

“Alexander would have told me.” He was sure of that. He _would_ have. Because why wouldn’t he? They had just spoken this morning. This must be a misunderstanding. But the ball that settled in his stomach told Magnus that he already started to doubt. 

"Would he? Are you sure about that?” Luke sounded regretful but his gaze was not wavering. 

Magnus studied Luke’s face, contemplating whether his friend was lying or not. And if so, why.

“Say that again, Lucian.” Magnus' cat eyes flared up shortly while he scrutinized Luke. He was not yet ready to believe what he had heard. 

“The Clave has lost the Soul Sword. The same sword that can kill our complete kind, Magnus. And of course, they don’t think it's necessary to inform us so that we can take precautions. On the contrary, they keep feeding us the lie about having stored it in a secure location. Someone took it and the Clave has no idea where it is currently. And yes, I am sure. Amatis told me.” Luke held up one hand to prevent another question from Magnus. Luke had just reestablished some kind of relationship with his sister, he was sure she told the truth and wouldn’t sabotage their newly developing bond with a lie. Amatis had access to the Institute and was close to Clary. If she said the Soul Sword was lost, it had to be true.

When Luke went on, going into more detail, Magnus felt something break inside him. If it weren’t such a cliché, he’d say his heart broke at Luke’s words. But something definitely did. Maybe not his heart, but his trust. His belief in love. His belief in happy endings. And while something broke, something else was built up. The walls that had been tumbling down for a while now, were rebuilding themselves instantly until they were solid again, no space between the brackets left to let anything through. His heart was protected again - but also encapsulated.

Magnus was silent for a while. He wasn’t surprised that the Clave lied. In fact, he always counted on the fact that they did. But that Alec lied - his Alexander - this was a bitter pill to swallow. 

“If this is true” - this time it was Magnus who held up a hand - “I know you believe your sister, but I want to verify this information. So, if this is true, Lucian, you know what that means.” 

Magnus’ eyes darkened and his hands clenched into fists. To say that Magnus was done was an understatement. He had watched the Clave do their shady business for decades, centuries even, suppressing the Downworld whenever possible. He had always hoped for the next generation to turn out better, with a better moral compass. Each time, he had been let down. His people had been let down. Meeting Alec - with his high morals, or so he had thought - had given him back hope. A hope that was about to shatter. 

“War.” Luke simply said. He might not be the pack leader of the New York Werewolves for long, but he had heard enough. He had listened to the Vampires tell stories about the suppression they had faced, about fangs displayed as a piece of art next to Warlock marks or a claw of a Wolf. He had heard about Seelie skin that was framed to be hung on a wall as a beautiful drawing. He had seen and heard enough of what his former Shadowhunter allies had done to the Downworld to know that they had reached a critical point. Lying about a weapon of mass destruction that could wipe out their entire races was next level.

The Downworld had been on edge since Valentine’s uprising twenty years back. They hadn’t been pleased with how the Clave had handled things. That people like Robert or Maryse had gotten away with a slap on their wrists, giving them a complete Institute to rule - and with that the reign over New York and all Downworlders who lived there - did not sit well with the Downworlders. They had hoped for justice. Once again they had been let down. But so far, they had been too scared to make an open move towards the Clave - and too busy with their own fights and wars between the different groups. Luke’s loyalties had long been with his former people - with Jocelyn, to be specific - but now, with her death, he finally took his job as pack leader seriously, putting his pack first like a good leader should. 

When the rumor spread that Valentine was not dead but very much alive, tolerated by the Clave or not, it had taken all his, and other leaders' persuasions, to prevent an instant riot. Magnus, especially, had thrown his power into the scale pan, believing that this time something had truly changed. That the Clave had changed or at least was about to, as Shadowhunters like Alec had gained power and influence. But now it seemed the tables had turned yet again.

“Exactly. War. I will give Alexander one last chance to clear this up. Perhaps he has an explanation. Maybehe truly didn’t know about the incident. I and we need to know whether we can still rely on him, I am still for a peaceful solution. But if he has betrayed me, if he has lied to me…we will prepare for war. I will not stand by and watch our people burn again, Lucian. It is time for us to take over the reins and watch others burn.” Magnus’ eyes narrowed down even further while he watched Luke with an intensity that made Luke swallow. “Are you on our side or theirs, Lucian? Are you still a Shadowhunter or are you one of us? It’s your time to make that decision. You have this chance just once. Just now.” 

“There is no need for making a decision. This decision has been made already. I am the leader of the New York Werewolf Pack. I am a Werewolf, and I will lead. What about you, Magnus? What about Alexander?” Luke glared back at Magnus, meeting his gaze calmly, but determined. Luke knew how much Magnus had fallen for Alexander. 

Magnus gritted his teeth. “If he really lied to me…” His voice trailed away, part of him still clinging to the belief that somehow it must all be a mistake. A misunderstanding. A something that didn’t involve Alec bluntly lying him in the face about something that could terminate his entire race.

“You know how Shadowhunters are, Magnus. They always choose their own kind. Believe me, I know. I chose them even when I got turned. But this is over. My choice is made. I will follow your lead, Magnus. And we need you as a leader. We need a united Downworld and this united Downworld needs a strong person to go first.” 

Luke’s words hurt like only the truth could. Luke was right. Shadowhunters always chose their own kind when it came down to it. He had seen it happen so often, yet he had closed his eyes this time, hoping against all odds that this time he was the most important thing in someone’s life. 

“If he really lied to me, I am done with him. And done with the Accords, the Clave and everything they stand for. I truly hoped that this generation would bring the change we all need and deserve. That finally the word of a Shadowhunter meant something. But if not, if they have just played with us again, with me - they will get to know us. They will see what we are capable of - united this time. No fights between Wolves or Vampires, no Seelies doing their own thing. No Warlocks claiming they are no warriors. We will all be warriors. Soldiers. We will all fight. And we will win. Understood?” Magnus’ voice became steadier and firmer the longer he spoke - and colder.

“Understood. I will keep my Wolves in line - and I am sure Raphael can do the same with his Vampires. And,above that - I am already in contact with the Praetor Lupus. They will follow when you lead and thus all Wolves around the globe will get ready to fight. At least, most of them.” Luke nodded grimly along to his words. The Praetor Lupus was an organization of old and powerful Werewolves, originally established to help guide newly turned Wolves. But they had a great influence and, if they called, a lot of packs would answer and follow. Especially when it went against the hated Clave - even if it also meant aligning with Vampires.

Magnus checked the time, a determined expression settling on his face - determined and deadly. “I have a meeting now with Alexander. I will let you know what I find out as soon as it is done. Wait for my sign before you do anything further, Lucian. Is this clear?” Magnus didn’t need to flash his eyes once more or raise his voice. His whole demeanor made it more than clear that he was the one in charge. The pack’s alpha nodded his agreement, accepting the more powerful man as his leader without hesitation - barely able to contain the urge to bare his throat and roll on his back to show his belly.

* * *

Magnus swallowed hard when he saw his boyfriend squirm before him. They were standing in Magnus’ loft in the living room. Originally, Magnus had been supposed to meet Alec at the Institute, but he had asked - ordered - Alec to come here, not wanting to give Alec the advantage of being on home territory. Alec’s cheeks had colored and warmed up the moment Magnus had addressed the issue of the Soul Sword. Alec was kneading his hands, and Magnus could tell that he had started to sweat. He looked everywhere but directly into Magnus’ eyes. Magnus saw that Alec had dug his fingernails deep into his palms, his clear desperation making Magnus almost feel pity for him. Almost.

“So, Alexander. I have learned that the Clave, in fact, is _not_ in the possession of the Soul Sword. They have _lost_ it somehow. The thing is, I immediately told the person who gave me this information that it can’t be true. That I spoke to you just a few hours earlier and you didn’t mention anything about the Sword being stolen. And I told that person that you would know about something like that as the Second Head of the Institute and that you would tell me something so important. Wouldn’t you, _darling_ ? Or did I make a fool out of myself?” Magnus’ voice was dangerously low, nearly a growl. They stood apart from each other, a greater distance between them than there had been since the day of Alec’s supposed wedding. The day Alec had kissed him in front of everyone, chosen _him_ over his own people - but it seemed it had been only a temporary choice. 

“Magnus, I… Please, let me explain.” Alec carded through his hair before his hand ran tiredly over his face. He looked exhausted, way older than the twenty-three he was. But Magnus’ walls were already high enough to not be moved by that. 

“Tell me that you didn’t know anything about it.” Magnus eyes burned into Alec’s.

“I,” Alec tried again, visibly swallowing around a huge lump in his throat, the inner fight clearly showing in his wide eyes. 

Already, then, Magnus knew the answer to his question. And that he didn’t like it.

“I did know. I am sorry, Magnus. My father told me about it and made me promise to keep it quiet. I am sorry, Magnus, I really am. He pressured me into making this promise. I didn’t want to hide it. Please, Magnus, you have to believe me-”

But Magnus didn’t let him finish. Magnus was done believing in things that would never happen. He was done believing that someday the Clave would be true to their word and not put Shadowhunters before Downworlders. He was done believing that there was someone out there who would love him and put him first for once.

He just huffed, annoyed, and trying to keep the hurt out of his voice. “Why should I ever believe you again? You lied to my face Alexander. To my face! And not about something simple. About something that could kill me!”

The blush on Alec’s cheeks deepened. “I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell you.” He bit his lip the moment the words had left his mouth, his hands now clasped into fists. He knew it was the wrong thing to say.

“Oh, really, Alexander. You are coming with semantics now? Really? This is where we’re going? But thank you, that makes it so much easier. I guess betrayal runs in your family, doesn’t it? You and me, _Alec…”_ Magnus drew in a breath to steady himself before he continued. 

Alec winced at the use of his nickname. Magnus had never called him that, he had always been _Alexander_ to him. 

“You and me, we are done.” The coldness in Magnus’ voice reflected the coldness he felt. He really was done. He stared at Alec who paled visibly, his mouth opening and closing, clearly desperately searching for the right thing to say, anything to say. But as far as Magnus was concerned, there was nothing more to say. Alec had chosen and, again, like so many others before him, the choice had not been Magnus. 

“Please, Magnus. I can’t lose you, Magnus. Please.” Alec took a step forward, holding his hand out but it fell limp to his side when Magnus took a huge step back, establishing an even wider distance between them. 

“You already have, Alec. But maybe losing is not the right word. You _chose_ to throw me away the moment you chose your people above me, above our love. This is not me leaving you, Alec. This is your choice. And now, go. I don’t want you in my apartment ever again. If you have anything to discuss, send Jace or any other of your underlings.” Magnus eyes flashed cat-like, but it had nothing to do with the intimacy they once shared. It was a threat and nothing less.

“Magnus-” 

But Alec didn’t finish his sentence. With the snap of Magnus’ fingers, the door to the loft opened. With the turn of his hand, Alec lost his footing and was slammed through the door by a wave of magic. With a loud bang, the door fell shut, drowning out Magnus’ silent sigh. 

Magnus gave himself a couple of minutes to mourn the lover he had just dismissed; the love he had hoped would heal and complete him, before he pulled himself together. He conjured himself a drink, knocked it down in one go and sent a fire message to Luke. The message contained only three letters, one word: war. 

* * *

As predicted, the Vampires were not hard to convince - at least not the New York Clan. Raphael had always been like a son to Magnus and it didn’t take Magnus long to show Raphael the advantages of following him. Though they shared a strong bond, Magnus knew that Raphael’s main dedication was to his clan. But his clan, like every other Downworlder, had suffered under the Shadowhunters; under the unjust regime of Maryse and Robert Lightwood, in particular. 

The clan had never received an apology - not to speak of reparation - when Shadowhunters had invaded their lair and killed many Vampires in the process, just to retrieve a Mundane who had been there willingly. It was a dance on the edge of the Accords, and of course the Shadowhunters had decided in favor of their own people and not the Vampires. Something Raphael had not forgotten and would probably never forget. So, given the opportunity to finally go against the Clave with a huge possibility to win, Raphael agreed nearly instantly to Magnus’ plan of action. His clan would follow Raphael’s lead and thus Magnus’. 

“I can speak only for my clan, Magnus, but we will support you. The Prince of Hell has finally had enough, has he?” Raphael looked thoughtfully at Magnus, already making plans about how to reach out to more Vampire clans. The New York Clan was huge, but not enough. Not when this time the Downworld really wanted to win.

“Yes. If it comes down to it, I will be the Prince of Hell. I am done playing by rules that are not mine. Done playing at all. But we need the support of nearly all Downworlders. The Warlocks already follow me, Lucian is managing the Wolves. Can I count on your Vampires, Raphael?” Magnus held his gaze; determination clear in his eyes.

Raphael nodded. “I will send out Lily Chan to get more on our side. She is better with words than I am, I have to admit that. She will talk to other influential clans. I cannot guarantee success with all of them but we should acquire the loyalty of some. Most of us Vampires are done with Shadowhunters. Lily will start with the big cities, Berlin, London, Paris. I presume you can lend us a Warlock for the portals?”

Magnus smiled and nodded his approval. “I have faith in your second-in-command. She is good with words and people. Let me know where and when you need a Warlock, I will make sure that one is at your disposal any time you need.”

Magnus’ faith was not misplaced. Some of the bigger clans pledged their allegiance instantly to them, some remained neutral. But both Raphael and Magnus strongly believed that once the Vampires saw that this time the Downworld had a real chance to win, they would join their cause. There was not a single clan they approached that pledged their loyalty to the Clave. Magnus smirked a little at that. It was well-earned by the Clave. 

“So,” Magnus said to Luke and Raphael, with whom he met in his loft. His loft had slowly transformed into their home base where all important meetings between the three leaders were held. His wards were strong and nearly unbreachable, so it was the logical choice. But Magnus was aware that they needed to relocate. To a place that was unknown to the Shadowhunters and thus even safer. He would keep the loft as a pretense, but he was already looking into another headquarters for their rebellion. “We have the support of the Wolves, the Vampires and my Warlocks. We just need to convince the Seelies.”

 _“Just,”_ Raphael muttered under his breath. 

“Well, some things are easier with the Seelies. All Seelies are bound to follow their Queen. We just need to convince her. But we know that she is not a reliable person and has only her own interests at heart,” Magnus carried on, ignoring Raphael’s interruption.

“And she is batshit crazy.” This time it was Luke who interrupted Magnus. Luke had met the Seelie Queen only once - and if he had a say in it, it was also the last time. “She is unreliable, and she changes allegiance like you change your outfits, Magnus. But you are right. We need the Fae. We need their magic and their knights to win this war against the Shadowhunters.”

Magnus chewed on his bottom lip, thinking back and forth when a satisfied smile settled in. “I might have a solution to this problem. We all know that Meliorn is a loyal Knight to his Queen - and we all also know that he doesn’t just guard her during the day, but also shares her bed at night. And Meliorn is not just a regular Knight. He is the oldest son of the Queen’s sister. He is royalty. If _something_ happens to the Queen, Meliorn, with his royal blood and his status at the Court, will be her successor. And Meliorn is reliable. And if we achieve that, the _something_ will look like it was done by Shadowhunters...Meliorn will join us in our fight against the Clave.”

A small smile tugged on Luke’s lips. “This is an excellent plan. We just have to figure out exactly how to do it. Maybe _I_ could do it. I speak and fight like a Shadowhunter. We just cannot use Seraph blades; the non-existing glow would give me away. But many Shadowhunters fight with other weapons. I could use a regular sword. You, Magnus, need to put the strongest glamour on me possible, a glamour that even fools the Fae. You have to put runes on me and alter my face. Then we just need an opportunity where I can get close enough to kill her.” 

“I probably know the right occasion,” Raphael cut in. He had been silent so far, but intently listening. “Word is, the leader of the Praetor Lupus, Woolsey Scott the Third, is going to marry. Is this right, Luke?” When Luke nodded, Raphael carried on. “Why not make a real big wedding out of it? One where every important person of the Downworld is invited and shows up? The Queen will not miss this occasion. She will show up to show her power. And there will be so many people, there should be the possibility for you, Luke, to get close to her.”

“I like the sound of it. We will seat her close to a hidden room where Luke waits, glamoured and covered with fake runes. He jumps out of the room, murders the Queen and vanishes. I’ll brew you a potion where you just need to drink a few drops to get rid of the glamour and you are your fabulous Wolf self again. The outrage will be enormous, and we have even more bad blood between Clave and Downworld - and we will promptly install Meliorn as the new King, before anyone can challenge his claim to the throne. But this is our secret plan, we cannot let more people in. The Seelies and also the other Downworlders need to believe it was a Shadowhunter. Luke, can you talk Woolsley into making this wedding as big as we need it? And are you up to killing the Seelie Queen”

All nodded grimly at Magnus’ words. “Yes. Woolsley will understand that we need some signs of trust among our races, and a huge wedding will be a good starting point. I won’t have to tell him more. You’ll prepare the location with the secret chamber. And I have killed many Seelies in my life. I can add one more to that list.” Luke swallowed. He knew he was the only one suitable for this mission, but he couldn’t deny being a little bit nervous. The Seelie Queen was dangerous. 

In the end, their plan worked out smoothly. Luke talked Woolsey into choosing the exact location they wanted and followed his advice in seating the guests. Magnus came to sit next to the Queen, giving him the opportunity to slip a tranquilizer into her drink - and thus in Meliorn’s, who stood behind her as her personal guard and was granted to take a few sips here and there from her drink. They just needed to wait a little until the potion started to work and then Magnus would alert Luke.

When Magnus’ pre-discussed signal rang through to Luke, who was hiding in the secret chamber next to the Queen’s seating place, he took a sip from Magnus’ special potion and the glamour snapped into place. He watched himself in a mirror and an unknown, grim-looking Shadowhunter with many black runes on his neck and hands looked back at him. He gripped the hilt of the sword tighter, threw the door of the room open and jumped out.

It was a matter of seconds. Luke lunged forward; the sword ready to strike. Meliorn and the Queen were too perplexed and too drugged to react. With a quick move, having forgotten nothing of his former Shadowhunter training, he buried the sword deep into the Queen’s chest, not bothering to withdraw it. Then he turned and ran. 

Behind him, hell broke loose, and Luke used the chaos to swallow the second potion Magnus had provided him with. Unseen, hidden in the mass of bodies that were running towards the tumult, Luke turned from Shadowhunter back to Werewolf. 

With a satisfied smile, he watched Magnus take control of the scene; he was quick to point out who was responsible for the assassination, and even quicker to proclaim Meliorn the new King. The official crowning ceremony was of course to be held in the Seelie Court but the first steps were done. And enough people had witnessed the unknown Shadowhunter kill the Queen. 

With Meliorn still drowsy from the tranquilizer, Magnus had an easy time with him. He convinced him easily that it was best for his people if he took over the reign quickly; a power vacuum was the last thing the Seelies needed in such unstable times. Meliorn couldn’t help but agree, and he couldn’t help being drawn to the throne. The Queen had no children of her own, so he, as the eldest nephew, was the first in line. And he was already well respected. So he seized the chance and accepted Magnus’ declaration, and crowned himself King a few days later in the official Seelie ceremony at court. 

Magnus smiled darkly when he got the fabulous news. Meliorn was not only the new-crowned King, but he had also agreed to support the rebellion. He wanted to see blood for the death of his beloved Queen. He wanted to serve the Clave’s heads on a silver platter to his people and cement his own position of power. The war against the Clave could begin soon. They just needed to make some more preparations. 

* * *

Alec stared at the wall of his room. It was chilly but this wasn’t what made him shiver. It was the coldness in Magnus’ eyes, and his voice, that caused the cold sweat on Alec’s skin, even though it had been weeks now since the breakup. But he still missed Magnus with an intensity he couldn’t even describe. When his father had forced him into promising to hide the loss of the Soul Sword, giving him tons of reasons why this was the better choice and not so subtly implying that otherwise he would lose all his support and affection, he had known it was a mistake. Yet he had let himself be convinced that the truth would cause a riot among the Downworld and that lying was the safer option - though he had felt that it was wrong.

And now he had lost the love he had hoped to be allowed to treasure his whole life. Magnus had crashed into his life like only one other person had before: Jace. Back then, Alec had been too young to realize what his feelings were and what they meant. He had mistaken them for friendship, maybe for brotherhood. And at the beginning, it had been enough. It had been enough to curl up beside Jace, comforting him through his nightmares and letting himself be comforted through the daily ordeal he had to endure from his parents. 

When it had started to be not enough, Alec hadn’t known what to do about it. Being gay was not something he was supposed to be. It was not forbidden, but it was looked down on and Jace was surely not into him. So he kept his feelings hidden, bottling them up as best as he could. He even agreed to become Parabatai with Jace - one of his best choices in life. One of his worst. It buried all hope to be more to Jace than that. But it also made Jace closer to him than a friend. Closer than blood. And again, at first, that was enough. The feeling of having Jace so close, of literally carrying one part of Jace’s soul in his own was overwhelming and more intense than anything Alec had ever experienced. He loved to be Jace’s Parabatai. He could better protect him in battle, he could better protect him from himself. Yet, after a while, the old longing came back and Alec started to wonder how Jace would feel, if they were to connect in a totally different way. But now, this really was forbidden. So Alec never said anything, hiding behind his grumpiness and sullen looks.

And then Magnus happened. Alec had fallen, fast and deep, and though he had never stopped loving Jace, he had started to love Magnus. And to his utter amazement, Magnus had loved him back. Until now. Until he had screwed everything up. He loved two people. One was forbidden to love, unreachable. The other he had lost. Unreachable as well. 

With a sigh, Alec pushed himself up and out of his trance. He might as well train. Without changing into training gear, he headed towards the gym. He didn’t need to think about what he wanted to do. He knew what he needed now. The boxing bag greeted him like a well-known friend, the rough fabric inviting him to punch it until his knuckles bled and the fabric was tainted crimson red. Alec got lost in the rhythm of punching and kicking, until two strong arms closed around him and dragged him away. 

Though Alec knew he didn’t deserve it, he let himself get lost in something else. In Jace’s tender touches, the soothing words, the soft brushes over his open knuckles and the cleansing sting of the healing runes, that burned brighter and more intense than they could if applied by someone else. But Jace had always managed to set his world and body on fire. 

* * *

While their resistance formed and developed, Magnus watched closely over the Shadowhunters. He watched how Valentine tried to gain more control - and he also watched how the Clave failed yet again to reign in one of their own. The numbers of Shadowhunters seen with the dark Circle rune engraved in their necks increased day by day.

Magnus watched but he didn’t interfere - he didn’t really care if the Clave or the Circle won. They frantically searched for the Soul Sword of course, but there was no trace to be found. Rumors were that it was not Valentine himself who had the Sword, but a mysterious stranger. To Magnus’ relief, he learned that activating the Sword was a complicated matter and only manageable in a certain stellar constellation - one that was not due for some months. But they _had_ to find or neutralize it before then.

As long as Valentine didn’t have all three Mortal Instruments, he was no greater enemy than the Clave. Magnus was determined to end the dominance of Shadowhunters once and for all - and he didn’t care against whom he fought. That Shadowhunters killed Shadowhunters was, on the contrary, something that came in quite handy. Less enemies for them to fight.

When the message that Valentine had attacked the New York Institute arrived, Magnus was not surprised. He had refused to renew the wards that had weakened over time and he had made it very clear to his fellow Warlocks that he expected everyone to turn down the request to do so, no matter how much money was offered. And no matter which threat was spoken out loud by the Clave. All had obeyed, not daring to go against the High Warlock of Brooklyn, who became more and more the Prince of Hell he had refused to be before. Magnus went even beyond that. He forbade any Warlock to provide any kind of help to Shadowhunters - be it portals, healing help, potions, wards. He wondered when they would realize how dependent they were on Warlock magic. 

When he learned that Valentine had taken Jace during the attack, he felt a little sad. He knew how much Jace meant to Alec and how much Alec would suffer through their bond, that would probably mirror all Jace’s pain; but he would also suffer through their being separated. He had always suspected that there was more between Alec and Jace than strictly parabataily feelings. He even felt a little sad for Jace himself. 

Though he had hidden it, Magnus had started to like Jace, seeing through his facade of cockiness and realizing that they were not so different. But Magnus was quick to build his walls up higher; there was no room for feeling sad for Shadowhunters. And the less Shadowhunters that could fight against him and his allies, the better. There was no room for anything other than the urge for revenge and justice for his people. They had a war to start and win.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to Jessa for being my beta💙

_A few days earlier, New York Institute_

Alec and Jace’s eyes locked. Alec pleaded silently with him not to go, not to sacrifice himself for the sake of others. Even if it was for Alec’s own sake. He could imagine what awaited Jace at Valentine’s side. Jace’s nightmares were still vivid in his mind, his screams still ingrained in his brain. Jace used to wake often from nightmares. Before Alec started to sleep in his bed and shield him from his inner demons. Before Alec started to fall in love with Jace, as inevitable as they had become friends when they were kids. 

Alec just couldn’t lose Jace. Not after he had lost Magnus. Not after Magnus had broken up with him, and there was no one to blame for that but himself. He didn’t know how to lose Jace too. The seraph blade against his throat, though, left him with no choice but to plead silently with Jace not to go. He knew Jace saw the plea but he also suspected that he was making it in vain. Jace would go in order to save Alec and the others. And then Jace really did turn and with a last look that went straight to Alec’s soul, leaving it blown into pieces, Jace left with Valentine. 

* * *

Alec glared at the monitor. There must be a way to locate Jace. There must. He just hadn’t found it yet. They had set a net of triggers that should alarm them the moment someone with the Circle rune - or Jace himself - showed his face. But so far, the alarms had stayed silent. Valentine was a Shadowhunter himself, he knew all about tracking and how to hide. 

He had hidden for years, living glamoured in the body of a dead man, faking his own death twice. And the Clave had been clueless - or had chosen to ignore all signs. Alec wasn’t so sure anymore which of the two applied. The Clave lied about many things, among them the Soul Sword. They still tried to hold up the lie of being in the possession of it, though Alec suspected every Downworlder knew the truth by now. 

He hated the Clave - and his father who had pressured him into lying. He hated them for making him part of the game. He hated himself even more as he knew that the only one to truly blame for that was himself. The choice had been his and he had chosen wrongly. He had chosen politics over his heart and over the truth, and he had lost Magnus over it. He knew this was nothing he could ever fix; he had seen the pain in Magnus’ eyes, and he had felt the old wards coming up around Magnus. 

Alec shook his head; he had to concentrate on Jace now. He needed him. He needed to find him before Valentine did more damage than he had already done. Before the damage was irrevocable. Like countless times before, Alec closed his eyes. He dived deep into their bond, into their connection. He felt for his own soul and, when he found it, he followed the piece that was Jace’s, trying to find the invisible line that normally connected him with Jace. It was still there; the bond was unbroken. The line was blurry and unstable, but Alec was able to sense it anyway. His breathing picked up, it was painful to push his soul this far, but he made himself pull through and follow the line to the end. To Jace. But like before, the line ended abruptly. It was as if he was running into an invisible wall. 

Alec tried to push a little further, to push the metaphorical wall away, when suddenly the wall was gone completely. A rush of feelings, images and emotions crashed over Alec while he tried to stifle the gasp, not wanting to draw too much attention towards himself. He had to hold onto the monitor in front of him for support while he sorted out what was flooding through him from their bond. Finally, he was able to pinpoint Jace’s location. 

“I know where Jace is. Let’s go!” Alec shouted towards the stand-by team that was always ready and geared up; in case they found a trace of Jace or Valentine. Simultaneously he notified a group of Shadowhunters that happened to be closer to the spot where he believed Jace was via mobile. 

“Let’s bring our brother back,” Izzy replied grimly, already entangling her snake bracelet from her wrist. She was on-call today and Alec was more than happy about that.

The other Shadowhunters fell in line behind him and Izzy, no one wasting any time. But when they reached the location Alec believed Jace to be in, it seemed they were too late. Corpses of other Shadowhunters lay around, and in the distance shimmered a green portal, some figures fighting in front of it. Alec started to run, not caring if the others followed or not. He knew Jace was among the fighting crowd. 

While he ran, he grabbed an arrow, nocked it, and had it ready in seconds. He heard Izzy’s high heels a little behind him, plunging on the asphalt with hard thuds, the noise reassuring him. They would get Jace out of whatever he was in. Three in, three out, like it had always been. Suddenly, a pain in his Parabatai rune made Alec nearly lose his footing. It was as if Jace screamed at him to stay away, to not come nearer. But of course, Alec didn’t stop running; he even increased his speed once he had gained his stability back. 

But no matter how fast Alec ran, he came too late. When he arrived at shooting distance, the last of their own people that had fought against the Circle dropped dead to the ground and the Circle Members had already started to retreat through the portal. Valentine smirked at him, a victorious smile playing around his lips while one hand clasped around Jace’s shoulder. Jace looked at him with a pained expression in his eyes - more pained than he had ever seen before.

“Jace!” Alec yelled, releasing the arrow he had in place. It would have pierced Valentine’s heart, had not the Warlock who had opened the portal raised a magical shield around Valentine just in time, making the arrow drop to the floor uselessly. The Warlock looked ill. His veins were black and graced his face in an unholy pattern Alec had never seen before. It looked frightening. 

The grin on Valentine’s face broadened before he turned around, his hand never leaving Jace's shoulder. With a resigned sigh, Jace gave in to Valentine’s guidance and he turned. Jace turned, again, like he had the first time. Again, he followed Valentine through a portal. Again, he left Alec behind. The moment the portal closed, Alec felt the invisible wall in their bond snap back into place - he couldn’t feel Jace anymore.

This day was the first time Alec heard the word _traitor_ spoken in the same breath as Jace’s name. It was the first time Alec truly snapped. Without thinking, he lunged at the Shadowhunter who had dared call his Parabatai a traitor and he had punched him relentlessly, not stopping even when he heard, and felt, bones break in the other man’s face. If it weren’t for Izzy, Alec wouldn’t know if he had stopped at all. But Izzy had been there, and she had dragged him away, ushering him into his room to cool down. It was the first day he heard the word, but not the last. 

The longer Jace’s capture went on, the more frequently it was used. Alec hated it. Though he had to admit the situation had been odd, he knew Jace was anything but a traitor. 

“You have to cut him loose.” Maryse's cold voice startled Alec. He was at his usual spot, when he was not out in the field; crouched over one of the monitors trying to make sense of the different spots Circle Members were randomly popping up in. Jace had never been among them again. Alec had never felt him again. He felt drained and exhausted, the pain of not being able to locate Jace was worse than every physical pain. Not to mention the pain of having lost Magnus, a pain Alec pushed away, far back into the corner of his mind. He had to deal with that, but not now. Now he had to deal with whatever his mother wanted from him.

“What?” Alec replied, not having really listened to Maryse’s words. His eyes stayed glued to the monitor while his fingers typed in some commands.

“You have to cut him loose, Alec. Jace is gone. Probably, he was never really there with us. He is Valentine’s son, and he chose his side. Jace is not your real brother, Alec. He is not my son. He is not our blood. Cut him loose.” Maryse had stepped closer, the cold tone matching her cold eyes. It was not a request. It was an order. 

Her words made Alec finally turn and stare at her in disbelief. “Jace is my Parabatai, mother. He is closer than blood. And he is not a traitor. He was forced to go with Valentine. Hell, he sacrificed himself so that Valentine’s men didn’t kill Izzy and me. How can you believe he is a traitor, mother? How?” 

“He is not yet officially announced a traitor, but this will soon happen. I have already seen the respective paperwork issued by the Clave. And I expect you to follow these orders, Alec. I expect you to follow mine! You will do what I and the Clave say. You won’t treat him differently than any other traitor. I don’t want him to ruin our Lightwood name, the name that your father and me have built with care and skill. I will not let a Morgenstern ruin that, Alexander. And I also won’t let you ruin it. You have already done enough to undermine it. Understood?” Her eyes were piercing and, a little while ago, Alec might have given in. But he was different now. No longer afraid of what his mother might think of him. This was not about him, this was about Jace. And he would do anything for him. Even start a fight with his mother - and the Clave.

“Jace is not a traitor.” Alec raised his chin defiantly. “I will not treat him as such. He is my Parabatai and he will always be that.”

“You will follow orders as I have taught you to. If not, you will learn what I am truly capable of. I will not let you ruin what I have built with my bare hands. You will not drag our glorious name into the mud by associating with such scum. And if you don’t follow on your own, I will make you. Mark my words, Alexander. Mark my words.”

With that, Maryse turned on her heel and left a speechless Alec behind. He needed to prove that Jace wasn’t a traitor. He knew many shared Maryse’s opinion, but that his own mother was ready to throw Jace under the bus the moment it was convenient for her, shocked him. He had known that she was not a warm, affectionate person. But he had not known that she was ice cold.

* * *

Alec was tossing and turning in his sleep. He hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since Jace went missing. Alec had been beyond exhausted and sleep had claimed him against his will. But he didn’t find peace in the rest, his sleep was haunted by nightmares. Nightmares that had already become true, like losing Magnus, and nightmares Alec hoped to never see come to life, like losing Jace. 

“Jace!” Alec woke with a start, his Parabatai’s name on his lips. Relief flooded Alec’s body. He flung himself out of bed and was dressed in seconds. 

Alec felt Jace again. And he didn’t just feel him; he knew Jace was close. His bond gave a steady humming and his stomach curled into a tight knot, anticipation spreading. Without thinking, he followed the pull of their bond, starting to run the moment he was out of his room and shoving away all Shadowhunters that dared to cross his path. 

He yanked the Institute’s door open and gasped for the second time that morning. In front of him stood Jace, just about to touch the special spot on the door that granted every Nephilim access to every Institute. 

“Jace.” Alec closed the gap between them with huge steps and Jace let himself collapse into him. Jace looked even worse than Alec felt. He had huge dark circles under his eyes, dried blood on one of his temples. His lip was split open and one of his cheeks was covered with a huge cut. Jace hissed when Alec closed his arms around him, and Alec could feel a gaping wound under his thin shirt.

“Shh, I’ve got you, Jace. I’ve got you,” Alec whispered against Jace’s ear.

“Quick, we need to get him to the Infirmary. Call a healer! Now!” Alec barked, when the other Shadowhunters just stood there and stared at them. Finally, Andrew Underhill jumped into motion and headed towards the hospital wing. 

Before Alec carefully picked Jace up, to guide him through the hostile stares of the others towards the Infirmary, Alec applied several Iratzes to him. Jace tried to say something but was immediately shushed by Alec.

“Later, Jace. Now we need to make sure you are okay. I feel that you are injured. The only thing that matters now is healing you.” The lack of protest showed Alec that Jace was more injured than the bond let on. He could see that some of the Iratzes were already fading, their glow diminishing rapidly. 

He half-dragged and half-carried Jace, sighing inwardly with relief when they arrived and he saw that a healer was already preparing a bed. He placed Jace carefully on top of it, making sure that he didn’t cause him more pain than necessary.

“Alec,” Jace whispered, before a cough shook his body. 

“Shh,” Alec replied again. “I am here. Don’t talk now, Jace. Let the healer do her job.” 

With practiced moves, the healer, Sandra, cut Jace’s shirt open and removed it. “Help me move him. The troubling wound seems to be on his back.” 

Alec nodded and helped her adjust Jace to his side, so that she had access to his back. Jace hissed at the movement and Alec had to bite back a wince. Jace’s back showed clear signs of recent whippings, dark cuts that were in different healing states. Some were already closed, others still bloody. But these wounds weren’t the problem, as painful as they were. 

A wound that looked like it was inflicted by an arrow was the problem. Sandra cleaned it thoroughly before Alec applied another Iratze adjacent to the wound. The rune lit up - and faded instantly. 

Sandra shook her head. “I bet the arrow which caused this was coated in a poison. Let me quickly run some tests.” 

She took some samples and vanished to her lab while Alec stayed by Jace’s side, stroking his damp hair and sweaty face. Jace’s breathing got shallower the longer they waited. At the beginning, they had looked at each other, enjoying the closeness and letting their bond speak when both had been lost for words. But Jace had closed his eyes a while ago, too tired to hold them open. 

Alec’s head snapped up when the door to their room opened again. “We are lucky. It’s a rather common poison and we have the antidote for it,” Sandra announced, relief clear in her voice. She was followed by Izzy, who settled down next to Alec, taking Jace’s cold hand into hers. 

“I’ve heard that he is back, and I helped Sandra run the tests. He’ll be okay, Alec. He’ll be fine. We still have enough of the antidote,” Izzy reassured her brother as much as she reassured herself. None of the three Shadowhunters mentioned what would happen when they ran out of the antidote. Warlocks no longer cooperated with them, and the Clave chose to ignore that fact, proclaiming they had the Silent Brothers to deal with injuries - forgetting that often it were Warlocks or their potions that helped quickly and saved many lives.

Sandra applied a greyish looking paste to the wound. Alec could instantly see the shudder that ran through Jace’s body, a little moan escaping his white lips. 

“Now.” Sandra encouraged Alec to draw another healing rune, knowing that a rune applied by a Parabatai was much stronger than any other rune.

When the rune lit up and stayed on Jace’s skin, and his flesh started to knit itself back together, Alec let out a breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding. Jace truly would be okay. Alec curled up next to Jace as he had done plenty of times when they were kids, not planning to leave his side any time soon. 

They were facing each other, Alec brushing away one of Jace’s unruly strands of hair. “You’re back,” he whispered.

“I am. I always come back to you, Alec. You should know that.” Jace smiled weakly, but genuinely. 

“I know. But it has been so long.” Alec sighed, enjoying the physical closeness as much as the overjoying feeling of having Jace’s presence back in their bond. 

“It was nearly impossible to flee. I was held on a huge ship, the Morningstar. His whole Circle is there, together with some Downworlders. He has enslaved Warlocks and forces them to do his bidding. But one of them was able to break out of the spell and he freed some of the Downworlders. A huge fight broke loose, and I was able to seize the opportunity. When Valentine’s men realized that I was not fighting with them but against them, they tried to kill me. But hey, we both know I’m hard to kill with all that angel blood.” Jace crooked a smile at Alec, and Alec couldn’t help but smile back.

“The Warlock managed to create a last minute portal for himself and I slipped through it with him. I think they killed him with one of the arrows, but I didn’t look back. I just ran as soon as I hit solid ground.” 

Alec nodded, still playing absentmindedly with Jace’s hair. “I’m glad you did.” But there was something he needed to ask, even if he knew there was a logical explanation. He needed to hear Jace say it. 

“When I found you this one time, why didn’t you fight Valentine? Why did you go with him?” 

Jace closed his eyes, but then huffed. “Because I have been stupid. Valentine threatened that if I don’t follow through with his plans, he will kill and torture more Downworlders. So, at first, I went with it. But later I realized that he tortured and killed whom he wanted anyway. That’s why he also never let me off the ship again. That’s why he started to torture me. But don’t worry, Alec. I’m not made of sugar. I’ll survive,“ Jace was quick to reassure Alec, registering the concern in Alec’s eyes. “It takes a lot more to break me than a few beatings.” 

Alec scooted yet a little closer, leaving just a little gap in between. He smiled when Jace’s breath grew more even and when he saw his chest heaving, up and down in a deep, steady rhythm, he let his own eyes slide shut and slip his mind into sleep. A peaceful one, for the first time in many days. 

* * *

“Jace Morgenstern. You are hereby under arrest by degree of the Consul and the New York Head of Institute.” 

Alec’s and Jace’s heads snapped up instantly and they looked at the delegation of Shadowhunters who had just barged into the room, led by Raj. Immediately, Alec reached for his dagger, which was secured in his thigh holster. He rose to his feet and stood between Jace - who was still lying in the Infirmary bed - and Raj.

“By what means? What is he accused of?” Alec asked harshly, his hand tightening around the dagger; though he knew what the accusation was.

Jace had given a lengthy report about his time on the Morningstar, Valentine’s ship. He had shown his wounds and scars from the torture Valentine had put him through. He had answered every single question. But it seemed it hadn’t been enough. 

The Clave needed a scapegoat, someone to pin the loss of the Soul Sword on. Someone to blame and punish so the Downworld saw they were making an effort; though the Clave tried to deny it, the lack of cooperation, and notably the lack of help from Warlocks, was a setback. Especially because Valentine had Warlocks under his control, bound to him by his blood experiments.

Raj just glared at the pair of Parabatai, a nasty smile playing around his lips. “Get out of the way, Lightwood. Your last name won’t help you here. Everyone knows that this scum is a traitor, even your own mother. She has signed the decree. Now, step aside or we will arrest you, together with him.”

Even though Alec was not surprised, hearing it said out loud that his mother really had disowned Jace hurt. She had even gone further and signed his arrest papers.

“Alec,” Jace said with a warning tone, “It will be fine. I am not a traitor. And once they give me a truth serum, they will know that. Really, it will be fine. Please, Alec.” Alec heard the appeal in Jace’s voice and it made him swallow. Jace never pleaded easily with anyone. 

Alec turned and when their eyes met, and he saw the determination on Jace’s face, Alec sighed. He didn’t like it but Jace was right; he was not a traitor and he would prove it. Alec knew they still had truth serum in stock and as the Soul Sword was not available to prove his innocence, this was the next best thing. 

Jace got out of the bed carefully, not giving the others the satisfaction of dragging him. He had healed fast but he still felt a little weak due to the poison that had entered his blood system. But he would be damned if he showed any weakness now. 

* * *

Alec looked at his mother, speechless. He tried to make sense of her words but his brain refused to accept their meaning. He stood in front of her desk - _their_ desk in a way, as he was the second-in-charge; but Maryse hadn’t offered him to sit down. She leaned back in her chair, her hands behind her head, looking sternly at him; Alec knew a power play when he saw one. 

Maryse clicked her tongue impatiently. “I think you understood me quite well, Alexander. Jace has been sentenced to de-runing. And you will be the one executing it. You are my second and we will show our strength by doing it. We will show everyone that we stand behind the Clave and the Clave only. It was a mistake to take that boy in. A mistake I correct now. I will not have any connection with him from now on. And neither will you. When you have overseen the de-runing, your fretful bond will be broken and you will not see him again. Ever. Is that clear?”

Alec stared a little longer at his mother, gathering his thoughts. “But there has not been a trial. They should use the truth serum on Jace. He will prove that he is no traitor. There must be a trial before a de-runing.”

“There was a trial. Jace is an official traitor now and sentenced to a de-runing. The trial was held without him being present.”

Alec swallowed visibly; he hadn’t known that. “But he must be present during-”

“No, he mustn’t,” Maryse’ cold voice interrupted Alec. “There is a precedent from the year 1756 where a Shadowhunter was convicted for treason and sentenced to a de-runing without him being present at the trial.”

“But this was totally different! The trial was held in his absence because he was on the run! Jace is right here in the City of Bones!” Alec couldn’t help his voice from shaking - out of anger but also out of fear. 

“The circumstances do not matter. The trial was held and Jace was sentenced. End of story. And you will carry out this sentence, to highlight our devotion to the Clave.” Maryse looked coldly at Alec. She was still sitting, not even bothering to raise her voice while giving the order. It was an order and she expected Alec to follow through with it.

“No. Never. Jace is my Parabatai. I’d rather be de-runed alongside him than do this. He is innocent!” Alec glared back, not believing that his mother truly expected him to go against Jace. 

“You will. Unless you want your sister to suffer for your actions.” Maryse had raised an eyebrow and her voice was cutting, clearly angered by Alec’s lack of obedience.

Alec paled. “What do you mean? What would you do to Izzy?” He had to try hard to stay in control of his feelings and not let his own anger surface too much. He needed to be in control to somehow handle this situation.

“Everyone knows what kind of hussy your sister is. I wonder if there is even one Downworlder left out there in New York that she hasn’t slept with!” Maryse rose now from her chair, slamming her fists on the table. “You all think you are so clever, but I know what is going on in my Institute. Your sister Isabelle has no right to call herself a Lightwood. She dragged our name through the mud by spreading her legs for everyone who asked her. But I will let it slide if you do exactly what I want from you.”

“You can’t be serious, mother. You…” Alec was lost for what to say when his mother’s hatred crashed over him. A loud _bam_ from the slamming of her fists interrupted him.

“Oh, I am serious. You and your siblings have no idea what I gave up to make our name shine again! You have no idea! I endured every little affair your father had just so that nothing would fall back on our name. So that you can have a shining career with our name. And all you did was sabotage my plans for you. You, Alexander. You will be my heir and you will do what I say. Otherwise, Isabelle will be the next sentenced traitor. And believe me, her sentence will not be a de-runing. Her sentence will be death.”

Alec looked at Maryse, opening his mouth and closing it again. He stared at the person that should be his mother, that should be their mother. But he didn’t recognize her. Not in the slightest. The only thing Alec knew at that moment was that Maryse was dead serious. If he didn’t see through with Jace’s punishment, Izzy would die. The maniacal, self-righteous gleam in her eyes told him she would do it. And Alec couldn’t let this happen. He just couldn’t. Izzy was his little sister and his to protect. 

He swallowed. All his feelings seemed to drain out of his body until only emptiness was left. He knew he had to save Izzy but he also knew that this meant he had to sacrifice Jace. His Parabatai, half his soul. If Alec were able to take the de-runing in his place, he wouldn’t hesitate. He would gladly do it. But to go against Jace, to break all vows he had spoken, to break everything they had built…

Another bang on the desk made Alec cringe. 

“Your choice, Alexander.” Maryse smirked at him, a winning smile playing around her lips when she pushed another decree towards him. It was a decree with his sister's name on it and already one signature of the Consul. His eyes roamed over the paper and Alec’s world stopped when he saw the words _death sentence._ Robotic-like, he took the decree and ripped it into tiny pieces.

“What do you want me to do, Madam?” There was no way he would call her mother again. Not ever. There was also no way he would ever feel like himself again. Or feel at all.

* * *

Alec had no idea how he made his way to the City of Bones. His Parabatai rune glowed lightly, their bond humming the closer they got. The bond had thinned during their time apart, and now it seemed content to grow again. Alec felt nauseated.

He hadn’t slept since the day his mother had given him the order to fulfill Jace’s sentence. He held himself upright by Stamina runes and coffee, knowing all too well that one day he would have to give in and sleep again. But he was too afraid to face the dreams he was sure would come. He had lost Jace now as well. He would not just let it happen; he would _make_ it happen. And the worst thing was that Jace didn’t know about it. Not yet, at least, but soon.

Quietly, Alec followed the Silent Brother into the labyrinth that was the City of Bones. Behind him were three other Shadowhunters, witnesses to the de-runing. The de-runing would take place right in the Silent City. There was a special room just for that. It was a plain room, empty except for a bench with integrated straps and rings, where the delinquent was to be secured so that the Silent Brother who performed the de-runing had the best access to all runes. It was customary to start with the Enkeli rune, saving the Parabatai rune for last. Only the Clave could come up with that extra little detail to punish their fallen Shadowhunters just an ounce more. 

Alec swallowed hard, his nails digging deep into his palms while he kept walking. He knew he was supposed to strap Jace down; to gag him and to verify that each and every rune was removed from his body. Alec was the one who would throw him out of the Silent City and leave him with nothing but the clothes he wore on his body in the hostile Mundane world. Alec knew what he was supposed to do, he just had no idea how to carry through with it. But visualizing Izzy’s name on the death sentence, and hearing the cold voice of Maryse in his mind, helped him gain that focus. 

He braced himself when they got closer to the part where the cells were located. Desperate moans, groans and pleas for mercy bounced off the walls and filled the air. The Silent City was not a regular prison. It sucked the joy out of your soul, leaving the inmates vulnerable to nightmares and psychological torture. There had been cases where prisoners had gone mad before their trials had even started. Alec knew Jace was still okay, he felt it in their bond. He was probably protected by the piece of his own soul, at least partially. And his pure angel blood.

The groans got louder when the Silent Brother opened the door to the cells. Alec’s eyes needed a little time to adjust to the dim lighting. The hallway had been lit by torches; here in the cells, only a few randomly-placed witch lights exuded their wan, bluish light.

“Alec.” Jace’s hands clasped around the bars of his cell while he nearly yelled Alec’s name like a prayer. 

Alec’s heart broke at the sound. 

“You came.” Jace’s voice was softer now, nearly only a whisper, relief audible in every syllable. 

Alec swallowed again, but he could swallow as much as he wanted, the lump wouldn’t go away. 

“They say I will be de-runed, Alec. But I am innocent. I’m not a traitor. There was no trial, Alec. But now you’re here and I know everything will be alright.” 

Jace’s eyes locked onto his. They shone bright with hope and love, and relief. Alec just stood there; his fingernails still buried deep in his palms to keep himself grounded. He knew it was the last time he would see Jace like this. It was the last time he would see the warm expression in his mismatched eyes so full of trust in him. It was the last time Jace’s eyes would light up just because of him.

The man behind Alec coughed, ripping Alec out of his trance. It was Victor Aldertree. A Clave’s man. Maryse’s man. Alec knew why he was there. To ensure that he really went through with Jace’s punishment. That he didn’t play a false game.

“Jace Morgenstern. You have been sentenced in absentia to be de-runed. The sentence is to be executed now.” Alec felt even more hollow than his voice sounded. Though Alec hadn’t thought it possible, his heart broke even more when he looked at Jace and saw the meaning of his own words seeping in. When he saw how Jace’s eyes darted from him to Aldertree and then to the Silent Brother, who had the de-runing device ready in his hand. His heart shattered into pieces in the same way the light in Jace’s eyes shattered, leaving only darkness behind.

“Alec.” It was his name again, but this time it wasn’t a prayer. It was an uproar of betrayal mixed with disbelief and a tiny bit of hope. But Alec knew that the hope was about to vanish. And he saw it implode when he shook his head in silence. No, he was not here to save Jace. He was here to punish him.

Jace froze in his cell. Alec could see how his whole body went still and no muscle moved. His face turned into a mask of indifference and coldness while he silently watched Alec. There was no humming left in the bond, just an echoing silence. Jace had clamped his side of it shut. Jace remained mute when the door to his cell opened and two Shadowhunters stepped forward, forcing Jace to come out with seraph blades held to his throat. 

Jace followed the Silent Brother’s lead, out of the cell wing. The Shadowhunters still hadn’t lowered their blades; they were pointing now at his neck. They hadn’t bothered to bind Jace. Normally inmates were too weak to fight anyway, the environment draining them enough to ensure they gave up any form of resistance. And at first it seemed Jace had accepted his fate as well. With a bowed head, his eyes fixed to the ground, he trotted behind the Silent Brother.

Suddenly, Jace lost his footing. He stumbled forward, seemingly too weak to walk on his own. A grip from Aldertree to his elbow prevented him from falling to the floor. And then, before anyone knew what was happening, Jace used this momentum to his advantage. As if he had been waiting to. One hand shot up and grabbed Aldertree’s wrist, using the grip to his elbow to spin the other Shadowhunter around, ducking away from the other’s blade at the same time. 

Alec heard the breaking of bones and a pained scream ripped through the air when Jace kicked away Aldertree’s kneecap, and it gave way instantly. The way Jace had held Aldertree’s wrist and turned it, Alec knew it was broken. Aldertree sank to the ground, not dead, but useless to fight. The others had been too perplexed to react. Without losing a second of time, Jace fetched Aldertree’s blade and killed the unarmed Silent Brother a moment later.

Jace used the narrow corridor to his advantage. His whole body glowed with runes that he had activated without needing a stele. He lunged forward with swift movements; the glowing blade was dancing in the dark like a flame. And, like that, it made the Shadowhunter yelp in pain when Jace cut through her chest, making her join Aldertree and the Silent Brother on the floor. Without batting an eye, Jace spun around to attack the last Shadowhunter - the last besides Alec.

Alec stood frozen in shock, watching his Parabatai killing the others. He watched silently when the last of them sunk to the floor with a slit-open throat. The killing was not the problem. The problem was that Aldertree, of all people, was still alive. Alive and watching. And if it hadn’t gone all so quickly, Alec would probably have killed Aldertree himself so as to be able to help Jace escape. But his mind was just not working properly. The only thing he could focus on was the death threat to Izzy and Aldertree’s burning eyes, who would clearly report him if he dared to help Jace now. 

Jace watched Alec. His gear was blood-sprinkled and ripped apart, Alec could see bleeding cuts and bruises covering Jace’s skin. He could feel it in their bond. Jace wielded his blade in front of him, his gaze not leaving Alec’s. He waited, not yet fully believing in his Parabatai’s betrayal. There was still a tiny glint of hope in his mismatched eyes.

When Alec stepped forward, his own blade in hand in a clear move to attack, Alec saw all hope shattering, replaced by a nothingness. And Alec broke. He broke all over again, as if he hadn’t been broken before. All he wanted to do was to wrap Jace into his arms, heal him and then tell him to run. All he did was attack him, Aldertree’s eyes on him, and his mother’s voice in his head.

Jace had always been stronger than Alec in one-on-one combat. And now Jace was fueled by rage and betrayal. Their blades crashed midair; their grunts filled the blood thick air. Alec tried his best to fight back. He knew he couldn’t kill Jace, could never do that. But he had to disarm him, he had to protect Izzy. And Max. 

But the next moment, his blade flew out of his hand, the blow against it too powerful for Alec to hold on to it any longer. The next second, Alec crashed into the wall and sunk to the floor, Jace on top of him. With his free hand, Jace punched him. Once. Twice. Alec felt his nose break and blood run into his throat. He choked. His eyes were wide open and fixed on Jace’s, which looked at him with an expression Alec had never seen before, and that made his heart nearly stop beating. Hurt, betrayal, rage, loneliness, emptiness were all mixed together. There was nothing left of the former Jace. All warmth, compassion, hope and purpose were gone.

Jace held his blade high in the air and Alec looked up at him, knowing that all Jace needed to do was to bring it down. Part of him even wanted that. Part of him would be relieved to never have to face the consequences of the choices he had made during the past few days. But the other part wanted to live. Hoping against all odds that somehow Jace would forgive him. That somehow Jace would see that all he had done had not been done by the real Alec, and not by his own free will, but that it had been forced. And that somehow that meant they would end up on the same side again. 

Jace didn’t say a single word. His huge eyes looked nearly black from his wide-blown pupils. There was nothing visible than a vast nothingness. And darkness. Alec was grateful that he didn’t say anything, not knowing what he wanted to hear. 

Jace clearly hesitated, fighting an inner fight. His grip on the blade tightened visibly before he loosened it - and for a moment Alec thought he would lower his hand. For a moment, Alec started to hope. But then Jace brought the blade down. And at the very last second he turned it so that only the hilt crashed into Alec’s temple, making him black out instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an emotional chapter to write, so I am really curious what you think of it!


	3. Chapter 3

Jace panted heavily while he watched the unmoving body of his Parabatai. It was strange to see him like that and not do something about it. Normally, he would draw an Iratze as fast as he could. But he probably needed to get used to a new normal. He knew he had only knocked Alec out and not harmed him severely. Though part of him had really wanted to. Part of him had wanted to see Alec bleed. 

Until the last moment, he had hoped that all of this was part of a game. Part of Alec’s game to help him flee. But when Alec had shaken his head in front of the cell and especially when he had attacked him for real, Jace had been forced to accept that this was not a game. At least not one he was supposed to win. 

He still couldn’t believe that Alec had betrayed him like that. Or why. Of course, Jace knew that Alec had high political ambitions. That he wanted to run an Institute or, better, the whole Clave in the future, and that being in allegiance with someone like him was not beneficial for this goal. But until an hour ago, he would have sworn that Alec would put him first. He would have sworn that Alec would never go against him like this. But he had been wrong. So fucking wrong.

He rubbed over his mouth with the back of his hand, scrubbing away blood. Alec’s blood, the other’s, his own - he didn’t care. He spat on the floor to get rid of the foul taste in his mouth, but it stayed, making him groan in frustration. Though it cost him a lot of effort, he managed to push himself up. He was not severely wounded but he felt drained to the bones. The essence of the City of Bones, that tried to suck away all hopes and dreams, got more to him now, knowing that Alec was not on his side. His whole stay, he had been shielded by his angel blood - but also by their bond. The bond had been partially muted, but the knowledge alone that it was there, that Alec was there, had held Jace upright. This feeling was gone. He felt the magic of his surroundings trying to penetrate him. He knew he had to move. Move fast. He wasn’t sure if someone had been capable of activating an alarm or something like it. 

The first thing he took was Alec’s stele. He could activate his runes on his own. But when he was as drained as he was now, it was good to have one, and save energy by activating them the old-fashioned way. Next, he pulled Alec’s dagger out of his thigh holster and attached it to his own, before he grabbed Alec’s blade, that still lay beside them on the ground, and stored that next to the dagger. With one last look at Alec’s motionless figure, Jace turned around and left.

While moving silently along the corridors, he applied several Iratzes before he pocketed the stele. The sting emanated through his whole body when the runes lit up golden, closing all cuts and wounds. He moved fast but silently; one hand gripped tightly around his blade. He remembered the way out clearly. He had paid close attention when they had guided him to his prison cell, the training he had endured since he had been a little kid coming in handy. 

Before every corner, he paused, trying to figure out if he was still alone or if someone was in front of him. Silent Brothers never talked aloud, only in their heads, so it was hard to hear them. They also moved nearly silently, it seemed they didn’t need to touch the ground with their feet. So far, he got lucky.

He peeked around the corner and saw just a long, huge corridor in front of him that led to freedom. The corridor was too dark to see the full length of, so Jace had no other option but to take his chances. He cursed inwardly that he had forgotten to take Alec’s witchlight - a witchlight he had gifted him, so Alec had no business having it anyway. But too late now. He started to jog, but suddenly the figures of two Silent Brothers appeared in front of him out of thin air. They were walking towards the exit, but when a small stone crunched under his shoe, they turned. 

Immediately, Jace felt their magic penetrating his brain in the same way they had done at night when he had tried to sleep, and they had tried to give him nightmares. This time, however, it was with even more vehemence. 

Jace’s Speed rune started to burn a bright red when he dashed forward. He needed to be quicker than them. He needed to interrupt their magic, otherwise he would be a sobbing mess, unable to move within a matter of minutes. The same sobbing mess that all the other inmates were, as they didn’t have pure angel blood or the protection from a Parabatai Bond. The pressure on his brain increased the closer he got, but he also felt his runes burning. Not only Speed and Strength but all of them. Deflect, Endurance, Fortune and Vigor all lit up with a burning fire to protect him from the intrusion. And it worked; though he still felt the Silent Brothers inside him, he managed to keep them at bay. At the periphery of his brain, and not in his inner core. 

With a small scream, he lunged himself at them. While running, he had drawn the second blade. The first Silent Brother dropped to his left with an open throat, the other to his right with a blade buried in his chest. Both had been too surprised, that their magic didn’t work in the ways they were expecting, to react. 

With a grunt, Jace tried to withdraw the blade he had stuck into the Silent Brother’s ribcage. It was too precious to leave behind so he jiggled it back and forth until it pulled free. He bent down briefly to clean each blade on the Silent Brother’s gear, before he stashed one away. His eyes darted back and forth, but it seemed no further threat was heading his way. But he was not delusional, he knew the Brothers had most likely called silently for help the moment they had seen him. So he activated his Stamina and Speed runes once more and started to run. 

Just when he passed the exit to the City of Bones and stumbled on the cemetery, his movements stilled. Briefly he paused, propping his hands on his knees while a choked sob escaped him. He had been able to flee, but he had nowhere to go. He had run, but he had no place to run to. His place, the place he had thought would always be there for him, the person who was this place, lay unconscious in the Silent City. His person didn’t exist anymore. He was alone. For the first time since his father had died and he had been pushed through a portal towards an unknown destiny, Jace truly was alone. 

It was even worse than after his father’s death. Because back then, he hadn’t known. He hadn’t known what it felt like to feel loved, to feel safe, to feel that he mattered. Alec had managed to make him believe all these things. Just to betray him. Just to turn his back on him when he needed him the most. He had sacrificed his freedom to spare Alec’s life and the lives of many others, just to be stabbed in his back by Alec and the Clave. Another choked sob escaped him, and briefly, he let the sorrow wash over him. Briefly, he let the tears fall and the pain flood his body. Briefly, he let images of Alec play before his eyelids, images of them becoming Parabatai, of him and Alec training, of him holding Alec while he mourned the loss of his first boyfriend. Then he straightened his back and let other emotions take over. Rage. Fury. The need for revenge. 

His blood burned with newfound energy when his mind settled on the last part. They had betrayed him. They had sentenced him nearly to death without hearing him out, without giving him the chance to clear his name. They hadn’t wanted him to tell the truth. They had wanted to make an example out of him. And they would burn for it. 

His eyes lit up golden one more time before he started to walk with vigorous steps towards the exit of the cemetery. He knew a run-down, abandoned house where he could hide for now. And then he would have to make a plan. But first he needed to get away before more Silent Brothers or Shadowhunters arrived. He needed to sleep; he was too drained to fight. And also too tired to properly think. 

* * *

Jace lay curled up under a thin blanket on a dirty mattress in the run-down house. He had glamoured himself to break into an apartment on his way, stealing the blanket and also some food. Briefly he had considered getting rid of his gear, but though it was ripped and blood-strained, it still offered more protection against demon ichor than normal Mundane clothes. Though he hadn’t believed it, the moment he had lain down and covered himself with the blanket, exhaustion had taken over and pushed him into a dreamless sleep.

The moment he woke, his mind started to spin again. Briefly he touched their Parabatai rune, but what once was a comforting gesture was now just a reminder of what he had lost - or maybe it had never been there at all. Jace was glad that he hadn’t confessed his true feelings for Alec, feelings he had denied for so long. But when he had tried to comfort Alec through his first heartbreak, the feelings had made themselves crystal clear and even he hadn’t managed to push them back and keep them bottled up. He had planned to tell Alec, to confide in him. But then Valentine had happened, the Clave had happened. Alec had happened.

He bit down on his lower lip so forcefully that he tasted blood. But the metallic taste brought him back to the present. What was done, was done. And he was also done. Done playing by the rules of a Clave that didn’t have his back. He ripped open one chocolate bar he had snatched and took a bite. The sweetness mixed strangely with the copper flavor and he nearly gagged, but managed to swallow anyway. 

He looked at the stolen food. He could just run. Run and hide, living a glamoured life and stealing what he needed from Mundanes. But this wasn’t him. He was a warrior, not a thief. He was a killer not a beggar. And he wanted revenge. He wanted to make the people that had taken everything from him bleed. And running away wouldn’t give him this satisfaction. 

But what would? To join Valentine and his Circle was not an option. Jace wanted to watch them burn as much as he wanted to see the Clave drown. But who was left? Slowly, a plan was starting to form. Normally, the Silent City was only a prison for Shadowhunters. But desperate times demanded desperate measures, and so the Silent Brothers had agreed to also guard Downworlders that had a special value to the Clave. Two Warlocks had been imprisoned during Jace’s time there. And both had whispered and moaned in their sleep, haunted by the nightmares which were induced by the Silent Brothers. They had prayed to Magnus to come and help them, they had begged for a rebellion to start and free them. 

Jace had listened to their moans and pleas, avoiding sleep himself as much as he could. And all he had heard led him to the belief that the Downworld was about to start a revolution. A revolution against the Clave - under the lead of Magnus. Magnus fucking Bane. Jace sighed inwardly. Of course, it had to be him. They had not been on the best of terms, both too clearly aware of the feelings the other had for Alec, both too possessive to truly welcome the other into their life. But on the other hand, Jace knew that if someone was able to unite the Downworld and strike successfully against the Clave, it was Magnus. The Prince of Hell. Jace had seen only glimpses of his power but he knew that there was a lot more hidden underneath the sparkling surface. 

Before he could change his mind, Jace gathered his few belongings, finished the chocolate bar and glamoured himself. How he would convince Magnus to join forces with him was something he would tackle when he was there. He had never been someone to plan too much upfront. He preferred to go with the flow. 

* * *

When he stood in front of the apartment complex Magnus lived in, he hesitated for a moment. He still had the chance to turn around and go. But again, the question  _ go where _ formed in his head and Jace knew that this was not an option. When his hand found its way to his Parabatai rune, he huffed angrily. He really needed to get rid of this habit. He had made sure to shut his side of the bond completely, the moment he had been out of the Silent City, and he hadn’t opened it since. But he missed Alec. He missed Alec with every inch of his being, and he hated that he did. His father had been right. Love made you weak. But he would grow strong again. He didn’t need Alec. What he needed was revenge. 

He straightened his shoulders and plastered a cocky smile on his face. He knew that the rest of him looked piteous. Even though the gear was black, the dark spots from dried blood were clearly visible and so were the cuts. But at least he would make sure not to appear rueful or weak. With determined steps, he took the stairs up to Magnus’ loft. 

To Jace’s surprise, the door swung open even before he had the chance to knock. Tentatively he stepped through it, making sure to make himself heard. “Magnus?” He yelled extra loud. He figured it was not good to sneak up on the High Warlock of Brooklyn. At least not when said Warlock was on the warpath. Though he felt naked without a blade in hand, he decided against drawing one. He also figured it would not be good to look like an armed intruder, an enemy. When all he wanted to be was an ally. 

“Magnus?” He repeated again. “It’s Jace. I want to talk to you. Are you here?”

Before he could make another step, cold, hostile magic washed over him and bound his wrists together and behind his back. He tried to suppress the surprised yelp but didn’t manage to. He struggled a little, but the magic bound him firmly without any give to it. 

“Magnus?” Jace yelled again. “You could at least show up and not only do your little tricks.” He was not here to get intimidated easily. Or intimidated at all. 

“Well, well, well. Whom do we have here?  _ Jason _ it is?” Magnus’ voice sounded cold and indifferent. It seemed like Magnus had just stepped through a portal and into the living room. 

Jace just rolled his eyes. “You fucked Alec for several weeks. I’m quite confident you actually do know my name. And I’m not here to play games. I’m here to speak to the leader of the Downworld rebellion.” Jace winced a little at voicing Alec’s name. It hurt to speak it aloud without the usual meaning behind it.

“Downworld rebellion? I haven’t heard about that,  _ Jason _ .” Magnus looked at his fingers with an air of boredom, inspecting his flawless black nail polish. 

Jace just huffed. “Then I’m clearly wrong here. If the Downworld leader is ready to talk, let me know. I’m done playing silly games. So maybe you can remove your little party trick and let me go,  _ Marlon _ . I-” Jace was cut short by more magic curling around him, covering him in thick magical ropes that went around his whole torso, up until his throat.

“Party trick, huh? What do you want, little Shadowhunter? And give me one reason why I shouldn’t just let my magic perform one last trick on you.”

Jace gulped and stared at Magnus. It was now or never. “Because I’m not any little Shadowhunter. I’m the best Shadowhunter of my generation. And I have intel I can give you that could come in very handy to you and your rebellion. Pardon me,  _ the rebellion you know nothing about _ .”

“And you are here on whose behalf?” Magnus was done inspecting his nails and looked up for the first time, scrutinizing Jace with his eyes.

“I’m here on no one’s behalf but my own.”

“And why should I even talk to you? You might be the best Shadowhunter of your generation but still you are fidgeting in my magic like a fish in a net. I doubt you have anything useful to say.” Magnus intensified his glare but Jace didn’t lower his gaze. He stared right back. 

“So, you are not interested in the intel I have? At all? Well, then I will keep my knowledge about the place where the Soul Sword is hidden to myself. Fair enough.” Jace watched, with a knowing smile, as Magnus’ eyes widened with surprise. It had been just briefly but it had been there.  _ First step accomplished. _

“And where would you have learned about the Soul Sword?” 

“Valentine. As you might have heard, I spent some time in his  _ hospitality.”  _ Jace shuddered lightly when he remembered his time in Valentine’s captivity. 

Magnus looked at Jace quietly for a moment, clearly contemplating. But Jace waited patiently. He had seen the quick spark of interest. He had time. He had nowhere else to be.

“And why wouldn’t you tell your precious Clave about it? Why come to me with that?” 

“The Clave is neither precious nor mine. Fuck the Clave. I wanted to tell them but they were too busy planning my de-runing to listen. I come to you because I want to join forces. I want revenge. And you can give me that revenge. And I can give you the Soul Sword. But if you want to risk the life of your entire Downworld, just to be a prick to me, go ahead. Your call.” 

Magnus licked over his lips, not giving more away than he already had. “And tell me, Jace, where is the formidable Parabatai of yours? You always claimed to be inseparable. You want me to believe he turned his back on the Clave? He? The perfect little soldier?” Magnus fleered at Jace. 

Even though Jace tried, he knew he wasn’t able to keep the pain out of his features, and the hurt out of his voice. The same hurt that he thought he had detected under Magnus’ sneer.

“Fuck Alec. He betrayed me.  _ He  _ wanted to de-rune me. Therefore, I really don’t give a fuck about him anymore.” 

Jace saw something in Magnus’ eyes which he wished he hadn’t seen. Pity. He didn’t want pity. He wanted anger and fury, rage and wrath. Pity made him swallow harder. Pity made him think of Alec’s warm hazel eyes. Rage made him think of blood and death, and the way he had slain the Silent Brothers. Anger made him ruthless and bold. That was the way he wanted to feel. That was his purpose now. 

“I did indeed hear about the de-runing, and of Alec’s part in it. Though I have to admit that I thought it to be untrue. I know by now that Alec always follows the Clave obediently. But I truly believed you were the exception, Jace.” Magnus’ voice was warmer now. Yet, the magical ropes were still slung snuggly around Jace’s body.

Jace licked over suddenly dry lips. “Well, I thought so too. But it seems we have both been wrong when it comes to  _ Alexander.  _ So, do we have a deal? Soul Sword and I will join your non-existent rebellion?”

Magnus stepped closer to Jace now. With the sharp fingernail of his index finger he followed Jace’s pronounced jawline, piercing his skin just a little.

“I will consider letting you join, but first you have to deliver. One thing has to be clear, Jace. I am in charge here. Not you. And a lot will not be happy to have you here.” Magnus’ grabbed Jace’s chin forcefully, and though Jace tried to flinch away, he held him in an unforgiving and bruising grip.

“I don’t give a fuck about happy people,“ Jace countered promptly. “ I’m not here to drink tea and make friends. And I am sure the Prince of Hell can tell his people to leave me be. Can’t he, Magnus? Besides the Soul Sword, I can give you insights into the Clave and Shadowhunters like no one else. I know how they think. What they think. When they think it. I know them. I was one of them.” Jace had waited to play this card, but he deemed it now the right time. He was tired of the ropes and Magnus’ hand in his face.

“We have Lucian for that.”

Jace just huffed and sneered. “Luke. He hasn’t been a real Shadowhunter in ages. He has lived in hiding for years. When he came back, he was busy following Jocelyn like a dog. He knows nothing. But sure, take your chances, Magnus. In the past it has always ended very well for the Downworld. Oh wait, it hasn’t.”

Magnus couldn't help but sound a little impressed at Jace’s boldness. “Then show me that you mean it.” With a snap the magic retreated, and Magnus stepped back. “Kneel for me.”

Jace rubbed over his aching chin. “No.”

“No?”

“No. I won’t kneel for anyone. I will follow your lead Magnus, and I am ready to swear all holy oaths on that. I can draw a fucking Promise rune on me if this pleases you. But I will not fucking kneel. I crawled in the dust for too long. Those days are over.” Jace looked at Magnus with a defiant but challenging glare.  _ This was it.  _

A small smile tugged on Magnus’ lips when he reciprocated the challenge. “We’ll see about the kneeling, Jace.” He reached again for Jace and let his sharp nail roam over Jace’s face, making something hot curl in Jace’s gut and a faint blush taint his cheeks. “We will definitely see about the kneeling. But for now, I’m fine with the Promise rune. And the location of the Soul Sword. If this is a false alarm, Jace, you're out of here. Go ahead with the rune.”

“It isn’t. You can trust me.” And something in Magnus’ eyes told Jace that he actually did.

They both knew the Promise rune was a fickle thing, drawn while making a promise at the same time. The rune vanished after a few days, unlike other permanent runes. If the promise was broken, the rune would become visible again and start to burn until the pain got excruciating, and finally scar over for everyone to see that something promised had been compromised. Promise runes could only be made in relation to actions, not feelings - as feelings changed and no promise could prevent someone from feeling differently. A Promise rune was nothing a Shadowhunter took lightly. It was important  _ how  _ to phrase a promise so that it didn’t backfire. Precise words were important.

Jace’s head spun while he reached slowly for his stele, buying time to find the right words. To phrase them exactly the way he wanted - that he would follow Magnus’ rule in this rebellion, but not beyond. 

When the cold metal of the stele hit his skin, he took in a shaky breath. “I herewith promise to follow Magnus Bane’s lead in the rebellion against the Clave; to follow his orders in battle or beforehand when related to the rebellion.” He drew the rune with a fluid motion, slightly flinching at the intense pain. The rune burned as the Parabatai rune had burned before but without the reward afterwards. Jace looked at Magnus, who nodded his approval. It was a promise just to follow Magnus in terms of the rebellion, but it was what was needed.

“Now your weapons, Jace. Hand them over to me. If you prove to be loyal, you’ll get them back. But for the time being, I don’t want you to meet my allies armed.” Magus held a hand out with an expectant look.

Jace glared at Magnus. To show his good intentions, he handed them over to him but didn’t bother to suppress an annoyed huff while doing so. 

“Wait here. I will provide a safe place where we can discuss the whereabouts of the Sword and how to get to it with my other leaders.” 

Jace just nodded, watching Magnus disappear through another portal. Jace looked around. The loft seemed the same as he remembered from his last visit, but also different. It seemed empty, as if it were uninhabited. And considering that Magnus had appeared through a portal, it was maybe true. And of course, it was clever. Though Jace didn’t doubt that Magnus’ wards were powerful, it was dangerous to live where the Clave could find him. So far, the Clave was too busy to battle the Circle to pursue the rumors of the rebellion, but you never knew when that might change. 

Jace rubbed tiredly over his face. The conversation with Magnus had been draining. Jace was itching to go over Magnus’ things, but he knew this wasn’t a good idea. Probably Magnus monitored this place, so sneaking around was not an option. As he had no idea how long he had to wait, he decided to make himself comfortable. He grabbed a book from Magnus’ huge library and went to the couch. 

* * *

Alec woke slowly to a throbbing pain in his head. He heard voices - inside his head and normal ones. He tried to blink his eyes open and move, but the pain that shot through him, emerging from his head, made him stop and take another steadying breath. His hand shot up to his temple and he groaned in pain. The wet feeling on his hand indicated his severe head wound. With all his willpower he forced his eyes open this time. With a somewhat distant feeling, he watched the crimson red on his hands. Blood. His blood.

Another broken moan slipped out of his mouth while he tried to take in his surroundings. It took him a minute to comprehend where he was and why there were voices  _ inside  _ his head. But then the memory of everything that had happened crashed over him. He had come here to de-rune Jace. Jace had tried to flee. And he had  _ fought _ against Jace to prevent that. Suddenly the pain in his head was the lesser one when his heart caught up with what he had done. The ultimate betrayal. But Jace had been stronger and nearly killed him. In the end he had spared him and when Alec interpreted the voices of the Silent Brother’s correctly, he had really been able to flee and vanish.

He tried to push himself into a sitting position, but the harsh movement was too much, and he felt a darkness clouding his vision. He welcomed it. Instead of fighting it, he just gave in and let his mind slip into the blissful state of not being awake; of not being aware of the aching hole where his heart had been.

The next time he woke up, it was to someone barking his name at him. Though he secretly hated it, his mind jumped immediately to attention at the harsh and commanding voice. 

“He’s awake and all yours.” A dark smile played around Raj’s lips when Alec struggled to sit up, the headache still very present. Before Alec had a chance to figure out who that  _ yours  _ was, Inquisitor Herondale appeared on his bed with a frown on her face. Quickly, Alec tried to take in where he was - the Infirmary at the Institute. Which was good. But the door was guarded by a Shadowhunter. Which was bad. 

“Mister Lightwood. We are very  _ displeased  _ with you and your actions.” The voice of Inquisitor Herondale was as cold as her eyes. Alec knew very well that  _ displeased _ was an understatement, given that she had bothered to come here herself. 

He swallowed hard. He had been the leader of the mission to de-rune Jace and they had failed spectacularly. From the behavior of everyone around him, he figured that Jace had fled successfully. One ray of hope, at least to Alec. Though he had no clue where Jace might have fled to. But all this didn’t explain the guard at the door. 

Alec gulped. “I take full responsibility for the failure of the mission.” He was glad to sound calm and steady, despite the inner turmoil he was still in.

“We expect nothing less. But tell us, Mister Lightwood. How can such an easy task turn into such a disaster? Can it be that Jace Morgenstern had help? Inside help?” She spat Jace’s name at him and Alec had to use all his willpower to avoid flinching. 

A small cough got his attention, making him turn slightly to see Maryse, who stood at the back of the room with a face that barely concealed her disgust. The hard expression in her eyes made him shiver. He  _ needed  _ to convince them that he had nothing to do with it. Otherwise he was sure Maryse would carry through with her threat. 

“I did not have anything to do with it. I even fought him to prevent him from fleeing. I think we all underestimated his fighting spirit. As I said, I take full responsibility for the failure. But I did not help him escape.” Alec pushed himself up a little further. He hated that he was still half sitting and half lying, cementing his inferior position. “Victor Aldertree can confirm my actions. I assume he is not dead. And I am happy to take truth serum.” 

“Well, where would be the fun in that? Besides, we need the serum for more important cases. But be assured, Mister Lightwood, when I am done with you, I will know if you have lied to me or not. And if you have, this will be just a sweet foretaste of what is to come. See it also as your punishment for failing the Clave so miserably. Raj, check to see if Victor can confirm his story.” Inquisitor Herondale stepped closer, with a dark smirk on her lips, and fetching her stele from her purse. “Stretch out your hand. The right hand.” 

Alec was proud that his hand didn’t shake when he extended his arm. He knew what to expect; the smirk and the stele told enough. The Clave preened themselves on having abolished torture, ignoring that they still had one of the most painful torture devices in place: the Agony rune. The Agony rune caused tremendous pain, no matter its placement - but there were strategic spots that were even more painful. Hands, neck, and of course the heart. Most runes were more powerful when applied on the right spot - Accuracy on the hand, Sure-Foot, of course, on the leg or foot, Enhanced Hearing close to the head. Alec didn’t know what difference the placement of the Agony rune made but he was sure to find out soon, if he wanted to or not. 

Imogen Herondale gripped her stele a little tighter before she pressed it down on Alec’s open palm, her lips pressed into a grim smile. At first, the rune burned just as any other rune. But then it increased. Pain shot like wildfire through Alec’s body, starting from his right arm and tearing up to his shoulder, leaving him unable to move his arm. It spread further to his left side, making his hands spasm in helpless movements, clenching his fists repeatedly without his doing. He bit down hard on his lip to keep his mouth shut, to avoid the yells that wanted to escape his lips. He didn’t want to give them this kind of satisfaction. The distinctive flavor of blood let him know that he had bitten through his bottom lip, though he didn’t feel that pain. He just felt the pain in the rest of his body that was so much more prominent. 

His veins burned like his blood had turned into liquid acid when the rune unleashed its full force. The pain crashed over him like a wave, setting his whole body on fire. When the pain reached his head, all Alec could do was scream, despite all good intentions. It was not like fire was running through his veins anymore, it was like he  _ was _ fire. Fire that burned down his outer shell until nothing was left to protect his soul and heart. Alec had no idea how long the rune burned him; it could have been seconds, minutes, hours. Time had lost its meaning.

When the metallic taste in his mouth mixed with salt, he realized that he had started to cry. But he couldn’t care any longer, he was too lost in the agony the rune caused. But after a while he also registered that the pain was slowly subsiding, giving him time to breathe. 

“Mister Lightwood, do you want to re-think your statement? Did you assist your Parabatai in his escape? You could spare yourself a lot by just admitting to it.” 

But Alec shook his head. “I didn’t.” His voice was hoarse from the screaming, but his answer was steady. He tried to keep still when the second rune was etched into his skin. This time on the right side of his neck, mirroring his Deflect rune. 

The pain was even worse. And it was not only burning pain that shot through his body. The closeness to his throat made the Agony rune burn all oxygen from his lungs and Alec had the feeling he was suffocating. Desperately he was trying to breathe, to just catch one more lungful of air, while he heard the cruel laughs of his fellow Shadowhunters who watched him gasp like a fish on dry land. His hand had come to his throat in a desperate attempt to remove the invisible hands that held his throat in an iron grip, but of course in vain. It was not an outer force that choked him, but an inner one. Alec felt his eyes begin to pop out of their sockets, the longer it went on, and he was sure he would lose consciousness soon. He  _ wanted _ to lose it. But of course, he wasn’t granted this mercy. 

When the rune finally lost its full force, Alec was quick to repeat his answer. Though his throat hurt - as if he had swallowed hundreds of tiny needles, and he still saw black spots in his vision - he pressed the words through his teeth. “I didn’t help him.”

Inquisitor Herondale just looked at him with an unreadable expression on her face. Alec suspected she had hoped for a different answer. Yet, he was thankful for the short rest her glaring gave him. His lungs still burned with every breath he took in, but at the same time it felt incredible to be able to draw in fresh air again. Slowly, he managed to get his breathing fully under control and the desperation out of his system.

When looking at Inquisitor Herondale, he registered that Raj was back. Briefly, he closed his eyes in relief. Aldertree had surely confirmed what he had said. He really didn’t want to learn about the third possible placement of the Agony rune.

“You can consider yourself lucky. Victor stated that you truly fought Jace. Though the failure of this mission is still to be punished. But my job here is done. Raj, apply another rune. Whichever place you deem fit. Unless the Head of the Institute has a particular spot in mind?” Imogen turned to Maryse, who had watched the whole torture silently. 

“Place it over the heart.” Maryse looked at Alec with something close to hatred in her eyes. Alec knew why. He had brought disgrace to the Lightwood name. He had failed her by failing this mission. What would have hurt in the past didn’t now. He had nothing left but hatred for her himself. 

Gleefully, Raj stepped closer, his stele already in hand. Just when he was about to push up Alec’s shirt, to expose his bare chest, the Inquisitor stopped in her tracks.

“Ah, one more thing, Mister Lightwood. As you have unfortunately pledged yourself to a traitor, I will order your Parabatai Bond to be broken. A Silent Brother will come and remove your rune.” 

_ No.  _ Though Jace had of course closed off his side of the bond completely, the rune and their bond were still Alec’s lifeline. It was his hope that, somehow, he could right in the future all the wrongs he had done. By opening his side so that Jace could sense how he felt about him and that he never meant for any of it to happen. Jace was part of him, he needed that part. He couldn’t allow their bond to break. Jace would feel it. Their souls would be ripped apart and Alec had no idea how to live through that. If there was even a chance to live through that or if he would turn mad in the process. And that brought an idea to his mind. He rubbed angrily over his face to brush away the tears that had fallen during his torture.

Alec swallowed down the pain he felt just thinking the words he was about to say aloud. “I would gladly have it removed as I don’t want to be associated with him any longer. But I don’t know what that will do to myself and clearly the Clave is in need of every faithful soldier.” Speaking hurt; his vocal cords were still strained from the overuse, but he managed to keep his voice sounding even. Nearly unbothered. It made him sick. 

Inquisitor Herondale was silent for a while, looking at him with a thinking expression on her face. 

“Maybe the girl can help.” Maryse stepped into the middle of the room. “Clary Fray. She can invent new runes. She will invent a rune to override the bond without breaking the souls apart, so that no harm is done. And I am sure she will be happy to help with that to prove her own loyalty in this issue.”

Alec gulped dryly. Of course Clary would. Maryse would make sure of that. He had no doubt about it. 

“So now this is settled, carry on with his punishment, Raj,” Maryse ordered coldly, nodding towards Raj’s hand that still held his stele in a firm grip. 

Before Alec could brace himself, Raj had placed the rune over his heart. This time, the pain was excruciating from the start. But Alec had expected that. What he hadn’t expected was the feeling of his heart ceasing to beat. It was as if his heart just stopped and made his body try to fight for its life, while all he could do was spasm and endure the pain that jolted through himself. He had no idea if he screamed anymore or if the pain was already beyond screaming. He just felt pain. Every fiber of his being was hurting while he felt himself dying. 

* * *

Alec was proven right. A few days later, Clary came up with a new rune to do exactly what Maryse had suggested. The worst part was that he had to draw the rune himself. He had tried with every means to reach Jace through their connection one last time, but of course in vain. There was just a huge silence answering all his attempts. But, yet, Alec felt Jace was there. He  _ felt  _ Jace closing his side. 

Alec had shared his soul with Jace for eight years now, and he had no idea how to live on without Jace’s ever-calming, sometimes infuriating, presence. That Jace’s soul-piece stayed in his was a cold comfort, but better than none. But the thought of utterly losing his connection to Jace, sometimes the only thing that kept him sane these days, made Alec nearly lose his mind. What helped him was Izzy. As always, she was by his side and had his back.

“With what did they threaten you, Alec? I know you would never betray Jace like this. You would never cut your bond. You would die to protect it. You would have been the first to storm the Silent City and free him.” 

Her voice was firm but gentle, and Alec nearly started to cry. He shook his head. “Please, Izzy, you need to let this go. I have to do it. I have to cut him loose. He is better off without me anyway.” This was the thing Alec tried to tell himself over and over again. That Jace was better off without him. Though, deep down, he knew it wasn’t true. If he had said  _ no _ back then, before they became Parabatai, it would certainly be that way. Jace had always deserved someone better, someone more skilled or elaborate. But their souls were too entwined to think he would be better off now. But maybe in the future. For sure in the future. Jace was strong and he would survive and find someone who fitted better to him anyhow. Someone who was worthy of him. 

Izzy glared at Alec. She knew she was right, though she couldn’t imagine what they had used to threaten Alec enough to go against Jace. And it was a threat, not a bribe, Izzy was certain of it. She saw that Alec’s eyes were full of pain and that his skin was ashen. She decided to do just this, for once; let it go. Instead of pushing, she pulled Alec into a hug . “I’m right behind you in this, Alec. Just as I was at your ceremony. And maybe, Alec, maybe this is not forever.” 

A single tear ran down Alec’s face.  _ Forever.  _ He and Magnus should have been forever. It had felt like forever. He had promised Jace forever, even before they had decided to become Parabatai. The first time he had laid eyes on Jace, he had known that this boy was his to love. Forever. And their bond just had cemented that. Parabatai were forever. Only, that for Alec, nothing was. 

He slapped himself angrily in the face, brushing away the tear in the process. He needed to pull himself together. Of course he was not allowed to do this in private. Of course he would have to do it in front of an audience. In front of Raj. And  _ Maryse.  _ Who was glowing ever since Imogen had announced the cutting of the bond. Maryse had wanted to cut Jace loose way before that and finally she got what she wanted. But Alec would be damned if he would give any of them a sign of weakness. 

He straightened his back and nodded to Izzy, the ghost of a smile on his lips. “Thank you, Izzy. This means a lot to me.” And it did. Though nothing would make this any kind of right, it felt good to walk the corridor to Maryse’s office with her by his side. He knocked formally and waited to be called in. Izzy ignored the scowl she received from Maryse and slipped in right behind Alec. 

Raj was already there, as were two other witnesses and one Silent Brother to oversee and confirm the bond was successfully interrupted. It was the same Silent Brother who had held his runing ceremony. 

Alec swallowed hard when a rush of old, cherished memories flooded his mind. Jace’s radiant smile when he had said  _ yes _ . Jace’s glowing eyes when Alec had knelt down to draw the precious rune on his hip. The way he had followed the movement of Alec’s lips when Alec had recited the sacred oath. But soon, other images replaced the good ones. Jace’s disbelief when he realized that Alec had really gone against him. The hurt that had washed over his face. The anger before he had rammed his hilt into Alec’s head, sparing his life. Sometimes Alec wished he hadn’t. 

Alec grabbed his stele harder before he went into the middle of the room. He pushed his shirt up to expose his Parabatai rune. With a last apology, spoken in his head, he started to draw Clary’s new rune. His lips formed silently the words of their oath while he drew the rune over the one Jace had etched into his skin so many years ago.  _ Forgive me, Jace. For not being enough to protect you. Us. Forgive me for letting you go.  _

As soon as Alec had finished the rune, an unbeknownst pain shot through his body. It was completely different from the pain of the Agony rune. The Agony rune had made his body hurt; it had faked the feeling of dying. This rune made his soul burn. His heart. And he didn’t  _ think _ he was dying. He  _ knew _ he was now. When the rune finished fulfilling its purpose, the old Alec would be dead. Because the old Alec had been a Parabatai. The new Alec was nothing. 

Alec didn’t recall falling to the floor, but suddenly he was lying there, his sister's arms around him. He didn’t cry. He didn’t scream. He just died. His Parabatai rune burned ink black, while the new rune glowed red, slowly taking over the black of the Parabatai rune and overriding the edges with its new shape. The brighter the red grew; the more pain Alec felt. There was a tugging and a pulling; he felt a dark magic settling into his soul, isolating Jace’s soul, building a wall around it, and closing it off from the rest of his own.

His body was shaking with spasm, but Alec didn’t care about that. He just tried to keep the walls down, to keep Jace’s piece attached to his. The more he tried, the more intense the burning and the internal pain got, until it was barely manageable anymore. But then it stopped. Alec’s world stopped for a second while his mind tried to adjust to the new reality. There was no silence from Jace’s side anymore, no blocking. No faint assurance that they were still connected. There was just a nothingness. A blankness Alec was sure he would never be able to fill again. Internally, he started to scream. 

* * *

Jace stood a little in the back, watching the others debate over the plan he had made to get the Soul Sword. Magnus had done the talking. The others still didn’t trust him at all, and Magnus wanted their agreement. Of course, Magnus could force them; and, if need be, he would use his hellish powers but he preferred to keep the rebellion truly united. 

A small, surprised gasp spilled out of Jace’s mouth that had nothing to do with what the others were discussing. But somehow it felt as if Alec wanted to reach him more desperately than ever. He had shut down his side of the bond completely, the moment he had realized that Alec truly had betrayed him. He knew too well that their bond could be used for tracking if he left it open - and he also had not the slightest need to feel Alec right now. Though this was a lie; he really wanted to feel Alec. The Alec he had thought he had, not the Alec who had threatened to de-rune him. Immediately, Jace clamped down his side of the bond even more. Alec was probably trying to locate him. But somehow, an unsettling feeling beset him, making him retreat a little further into the back.

Subconsciously, his hand went to his Parabatai rune. There was no humming, but he still left his hand there. He was just about to say something when his world exploded in pain. It was not a physical pain. It was an even worse one. He heard himself scream in surprise and, now also in physical pain, his hand pressed over the rune until he couldn’t stand either kind of pain any longer and he had to remove his hand and look beneath it. What he saw happening on his skin made him crumble to the floor, another scream of agony escaping his mouth. A reddish rune was etching itself in his skin, overdrawing his Parabatai rune. With every inch the rune got closer to being finished, the pain inside him increased. His soul burned and he felt himself being cut off from Alec completely. It felt like a huge fence was constructed around Alec’s soul to shield it from his own. The higher the fence got, the more pain Jace felt.

He didn’t register that gentle hands were carding through his hair, murmuring soothing words. He didn’t register that the others were leaving the room quietly after Magnus had given them an order, and granted them privacy. Jace just felt his world burn and his bond vanish. It hurt beyond words. Until it finally stopped. Instead of pain, or the silence Jace was used to getting from Alec’s closed side of the bond, there was just a nothingness. The new rune was completed now. The Parabatai rune was still there; it stood out in an even darker shade of black now, but it was overwritten by the burning red of the fresh rune. 

_ Alec.  _ Alec had somehow found a means to override their bond. To terminate it. Cancel it. And as though Jace had known by now that Alec had changed and didn’t care for him anymore, he hadn’t expected this. Angrily, he wiped away the tears, and for the first time he realized that Magnus was by his side, stroking his hair lightly. He looked up to find the room empty, relief flooding his body. He was grateful that there had been no witnesses to his breakdown. 

“I’m sorry, Jace,” Magnus whispered gently, while continuing the soothing strokes. “I think he will always choose his people.” 

Jace nodded slowly, still trying to process what had happened. Still trying to come to terms with the nothingness. Still trying to cope somehow. “You know, Magnus, I always thought I  _ was _ his people.” With that he shook himself, pushing up from the floor into a sitting position. “Let’s make them pay, Magnus. Let’s get the damn Soul Sword.”

Magnus just nodded, extending one hand to Jace to pull him up. He had trusted Jace before, but from what he had just seen, he was sure that Jace didn’t lie; he would never tamper willingly with his bond. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to Jessa for beating this chapter (as the whole fic). You're the best 💙

Jace was shaken to the core by his bond being broken. He hated the empty feeling inside, where their connection should be. Even if he told himself that it shouldn’t matter - that Alec had betrayed him before and shut him out of his life - he failed at convincing himself. So he did the next best thing. He shoved it away to the farthest corner of his mind and concentrated on the task at hand. Getting the Soul Sword.

“Will you let me join?” Jace looked at Magnus quizzically, who had just finished giving last instructions to his people. Jace had not been allowed to wear weapons so far. Though Magnus trusted Jace fully now, the others didn’t. 

Magnus studied Jace’s face for a moment. Then he raised an eyebrow. “You’ll follow my orders. And you won’t be reckless.” 

Jace just huffed. “You sound like Al...someone else. I swore to follow your orders, Magnus, and I will. And when have I ever been reckless?” 

Now it was Magnus' turn to huff out a laugh. “Well, I don’t think we have time to elaborate on this. But yes, you can join. We need experienced fighters. And leaders.” 

Jace nodded, grateful for the opportunity to get lost in a fight. To do something for real to get his revenge. Plotting and planning was all in order, it was important - but it was not satisfying. At least not even close to the satisfying feeling of burying his sword in his enemy and feeling the last drops of life seep out of their body. 

Jace had given Magnus detailed information about the whereabouts of the Soul Sword - an old factory in Russia, hidden from Mundane sight by strong glamours. Valentine had erected strong magical wards around it, but Magnus was quite confident that he and his little army of Warlocks would be able to breach them. Never in history had so many Warlocks worked together. He was sure that the work of one or two by Valentine enslaved ones wouldn’t last against their joint magic - even if the enslaved Warlocks somehow had managed to combine their magic with demons. 

Luke’s wolves would tag along as well, and of course Luke himself would be present. They had the support of the local Vampire Clan, so therefore Magnus decided to leave the New York Vampires at home. It was easier to work with fewer teams. Meliorn had agreed to send a couple of his knights. 

“Do you have the Seraph blades?” Magnus asked Jace, who confirmed with a curt nod.

“Yes. Everything is ready. We have enough bloody blades to leave behind so that Valentine will think the Clave attacked him and stole his precious sword. Which will hopefully trigger an open war.” Jace let his finger run over one of the blades, that was still encrusted with blood. It looked convincing because it was real. He himself had killed a Circle member with that blade.

“Yes. I hope so too. But your father has always had one weakness, Jace. He thinks he is superior and gets offended easily. He will wage war. And we will sit back and watch them destroy each other.” Magnus chuckled darkly. When the Clave was done with the Circle - or the other way round - they would only need to deal with what was left. 

“And we will burn the ones that remain.” Jace’s eyes gleamed with the fire he felt burning in his veins. With the fire he hoped would destroy his enemies. With the fire he hoped would fill the emptiness Alec had left behind.

Magnus stepped closer to Jace, not minding the blade Jace was still wielding, fully trusting that Jace would not use it against him. “Yes, we will.” Magnus nodded grimly, Jace’s spark mirrored in his own eyes. “And then the Downworld will rule.” 

Jace smirked at him. “ _ You _ will rule.” 

“A technicality.” Magnus winked at Jace, though both knew it wasn’t. “Get some sleep, Jace, and be ready for tomorrow.” 

* * *

Jace woke with a start. He had slept restlessly, tossing and turning from side to side. He was not afraid of the coming day. On the contrary, he was excited to finally be able to do something. Though he didn’t think that they had the luck to find Valentine and the Soul Sword, a little part of him surely hoped they did. He would give a lot to get his hands on Valentine. 

But he knew it was unlikely. Jace suspected that Valentine was still aboard his ship, the Morning Star, untraceable to the other Shadowhunters. The Soul Sword couldn’t be kept in a place on water. To do so would cause an imbalance in its powers, and it would lose magic, something Valentine didn’t dare to jeopardize. So Valentine had created a secure vault in the Russian factory and ordered some of his best men to guard it. 

During his time on the Morning Star, Jace had overheard which of these men were guarding the sword - giving Magnus and his Warlocks the means to track the location down exactly. 

First they had broken into one man’s dwelling - a mansion - to gather some personal belongings. With the right items, tracking the exact location had been easy; the items had led them to the middle of the Siberian tundra where Jace and a couple of wolves had then scouted the factory and developed a plan. 

Four Warlocks created portals to surround the factory, so that they were able to attack at once from all sides. Jace smirked when he saw all units act according to his plans. It had taken him some training and drilling, but he had managed to make a team out of them. Maybe not the most disciplined, but a fearless one. And, most importantly, one comprised of individuals who would die for each other. 

Magnus gave a signal, and all present Warlocks started to work their magic. Magnus was of course on the main entrance - though Jace had asked him to stay behind in the security of their headquarters. It would have been the more logical and strategically wise move but Magnus was never one to stay behind and let others do the dangerous and dirty work. He knew how important it was to show the others that he was willing to risk his life as much as they did. 

The whole area lit up in blue when the magic of the Warlocks poured out of their hands, penetrating the factory wards. The wards flared up in a reddish light and for a moment, the world turned purple, the two magics melting together and fighting each other. But slowly the purple shifted towards blue and Jace raised his hand. 

As soon as the red vanished completely, he let his hand drop, screaming, “Now!” The order was magically enhanced so that all of them heard his signal. They surged forward together. Jace heard glass split where the others smashed the windows to be able to enter. The entry door was blasted away by Magnus’ magic, the now wardless door no match for Magnus’ power. 

Jace dashed through it, his glowing Seraph blade held high, ready to strike. A satisfied grunt escaped him when his blade found its first target, the Circle member dropping at his side with an open throat. Jace felt his blood beating feverishly in his veins, spurred on by the howling of the wolves and the shrieking of his enemies. He moved blissfully, his whole body glowing golden with all possible runes activated. Jace cherished these moments of battle where all he had to do was cut and stab, injure and kill. The only thing he missed was the constant beating of another heart next to his. He just missed Alec. 

The few Circle members that guarded the place stood no chance. Valentine had relied too much on the strong wards. Soon the fight was over, just some bloody bodies lying around a sign of the battle. The Warlocks quickly took care of their own injured, keeping their loss to a minimum. 

Jace grinned wickedly at the Circle member who lay on the ground before him. He rested one boot on his stomach while his blade was pointed at his throat. “Tell us where the Soul Sword is.” 

When the Shadowhunter didn’t reply instantly, Magnus stepped closer, a dark smile on his lips. “Let me handle this, Jace.” With a snap of his hands the man before him twisted in pain. 

“Jace asked you a question. Answer it. Now. This was just a taste of what is to come if you don’t comply.” Magnus twirled his wrist again, and the man on the floor started to gasp for air. 

“It’s, it’s upstairs in the main office,” the man stuttered, reaching for his throat, trying fruitlessly to remove the magical grip Magnus had on him. Magnus cut off his airway just a little longer before he released him. 

“Keep him alive until we have found the Sword. If he said the truth, kill him. If not, make him beg to die,” Magnus ordered, while heading towards the stairs, Jace on his heels. 

The Sword was secured in a magical safe, but with the joint effort of Magnus and two other Warlocks, the protection was blown away easily. 

“Let me.” Jace stepped forward to gather the sword. Though only touching the blade itself was deadly for a Downworlder, there was no need to risk anything. As a Shadowhunter the blade could not harm him. Jace turned with the sword securely in his hand. He smirked at Magnus. “Step one accomplished.”

Magnus returned the smirk, while they heard downstairs the dying scream of the last Circle member. 

  
  


* * *

Jace smiled cockily at the bartender who passed him another shot. Magnus had enlarged the living room of their hideout house to host a party, declaring that celebrating your wins was nearly as important as winning itself. And Jace could see that he was right. The atmosphere was relaxed and even the groups that normally kept separate started to mingle. 

Vampires were talking to Werewolves without the usual sneers but with genuine laughter. Seelies and Warlocks showed off their tricks to each other. And even he himself was no longer excluded. Though some still avoided him, after he had proven his allegiance by killing plenty of Circle members and collecting the Soul Sword, there were enough who talked to him. Or even flirted. And Jace flirted back. He had always loved the game of a too long stare here, an accidental touch there and a wink at the right time. 

He also didn’t shy away from the countless drinks the bartender placed in front of him. The alcohol was burning nicely down his throat and curling in his stomach into a hot ball. He was having a good time - the more the sudden change in his mood hit him. The sight of a tall, dark-haired man in the corner of his eye made him jerk around, nearly spilling his drink. Of course it was not Alec, but one of Luke’s wolves. Of course. Jace wanted to slap himself for his instant reaction, but even more for the feeling of hope that had jolted through his body. Angrily he knocked his drink down, pushed himself off his barstool and headed to the door. He needed fresh air. 

“Magnus,” Jace breathed out surprised when he stepped out on the small balcony. “Last time I saw you, you were dancing in a cloud of glitter.” 

Magnus laughed at that, but couldn’t hide the hint of sadness. “And you? Done celebrating?” 

Jace just shrugged, feeling Magnus’ sadness resonating in himself.

“I could have sworn you would only sneak out of this party with Maia.” Magnus had turned fully now to Jace, who leaned against the balustrade, watching Magnus.

“Maia? The bartender? Nah.” Jace shook his head, licking over his lips. “She’s not my type.” 

“Is that so, Jace? Then tell me, who is your type?” Magnus stepped closer to Jace now, placing himself in front of him so that Jace had to tilt his head a little to be able to meet his eyes. 

Jace drew in a breath. They stood close. Very close. So close that he could smell him. The sweet scent of alcohol mixed together with a rich sandalwood tone. Jace felt goosebumps spread over his body when Magnus leaned in just a little more.

“You know. Tall. Dark hair.” Jace winked at Magnus, not leaning away but also not closing the gap between them. 

“And let me guess. Cat eyes.” Magnus smiled seductively at him, while flashing his eyes at Jace.

Jace just chuckled when he suddenly felt Magnus’ hands in his hair, tugging to tilt his head just a little more. “Normally not but I can make an exception.” 

“Can you, though? Ready to kneel now, Jace?” Magnus tugged a little more forcefully at Jace’s hair, making him hiss softly.

“In fact, I’m ready for so much more.” Jace gave back, and despite the hand in his hair that tried to hold him in place, he closed the gap between them and pressed their lips together, gasping surprised and pleased when Magnus used the opportunity to sling an arm around his waist, pressing their bodies together. 

Magnus didn’t hesitate to use Jace’s parted lips to push his tongue into Jace’s mouth, moaning when his demands were met equally feverishly. Instead of pulling Jace closer, he shoved him back until Jace’s hips met the balustrade again. “So much more sounds perfect,” he whispered in Jace’s ear before he bit lightly down on Jace’s collarbone, making him yelp in surprise - and pleasure. 

* * *

The second time they hooked up happened equally unplanned and equally raw. Jace showed up in Magnus’ office to give him a report on their latest mission, still in his torn fighting gear with blood sprinkled over his face, looking way too gorgeous for Magnus to resist. So instead of listening to his account, Magnus shoved him face forward into the nearest wall, listening to his moans and grunts while pulling Jace’s pants down, indulging in the feeling of Jace’s ass around his cock. 

Afterwards, Jace grinned at him while straightening his gear. “That was definitely the best de-briefing I ever had. I could get used to it.” With that and a wink Jace was gone, leaving Magnus staring after him, thinking that he also had nothing against getting used to this. 

The first time they fucked in Magnus’ bed and Jace fell asleep next to him, the morning after was a little awkward. But after Magnus threw a pillow at him, complaining that Jace had stolen his blanket in the night and Jace just smiled his cocky grin, things lost their tension and became the new normal. 

They never talked about what happened between them though, if there was something happening between them besides sex at all. Both too aware what confessing to feelings could entail. Both too hurt from recent events to acknowledge that they shared more than sex. 

* * *

“Jace.” Magnus glared at him. It was a clear warning and Jace knew it. “Do I have to remind you about the vow you made to me?” 

Jace bit his lip. Of course he didn’t need to be reminded of his Promise rune. But Magnus’ plan was a mistake, most likely even a trap, and Magnus would walk right into it. “Don’t go there without proper back-up, Magnus. It’s too dangerous. It could be a trap.” Jace had never been one to give in easily. He was fairly sure that it  _ was  _ a trap and that Magnus would get caught in it. 

“Enough! I order you to back off and remain here at our headquarters. The Shadowhunter who contacted us and holds our allies captive was very clear. He will not deal with you. But he offers us a deal so that we can get them back safely. And I want them back safely, they are our friends. I won’t go in there alone, I’ll have Luke’s wolves and some Vampires with me. And don’t you think I am capable of dealing with some Shadowhunters? Even if there are more of his kind than him and the other guy he mentioned. I am the Prince of Hell, never forget that.” 

“And stubborn as hell,” Jace muttered, but didn’t dare say more. He felt the power of the rune already. A constant pressure against his brain, reminding him that he was walking the edge of a blade arguing against Magnus. And Magnus was right, of course. He should be able to hold his ground against the Shadowhunters. 

“What was that?” Magnus’ tone was sharp, but he raised one eyebrow in amusement. 

“Nothing.” Jace held his hands up, showing his surrender. “What will you do with the Shadowhunters?” 

“I am not sure yet. If they really want to keep their end of the bargain I might let them live. Could come in handy to have actual spies in there. But if in doubt, I’ll kill them,” Magnus said evenly. “Is that a problem?”

Jace looked at him astonished. “Why would it be? Just make sure to return safely.” 

For a moment their eyes locked, unspoken feelings running back and forth. 

“Let’s go.” Magnus nodded towards Dot, who opened a portal, and Magnus, the Vampires and Werewolves stepped through. 

* * *

Jace paced up and down, his eyes glued to a clock. Magnus should be back by now. Go in, rescue the Downworlders, negotiate with or kill the Shadowhunters - it shouldn’t take so long. Magnus  _ should _ be back. He should never have agreed to stay behind. He had known it was a trap. Damn the promise he had made. Damn the rune. He should have never agreed to  _ that.  _ He felt it pulsate under his skin on the spot on his neck where he had applied it. The rune was not visible, but its presence was even more tangible for it. 

“Fuck it.” With a groan he selected his favourite blade and stashed some daggers in his holsters, while typing something in his phone. When a few moments later two Werewolves and a Vampire showed up, Jace nodded satisfied. The three were the only people among the Downworlders he trusted enough to either go with him, or not try to stop him - as he planned to go against direct orders. 

“Alaric, Bat, Lilly. I am glad you came. I think something went wrong during the rescue mission for our friends. I know that Magnus told us to stay put, but I will go after him regardless. Are you in?” All three looked uncomfortable. Tagging along meant going completely against the orders of their leaders. Staying put could be the death sentence of their friends. And they all agreed with Jace that the mission was already taking too long. 

Jace raised a questioning eyebrow and when he saw all three of them nodding, he smiled approvingly. “I notified Dot-” but he was interrupted by the opening door and Dot, the Warlock who had provided the portal, stepped tentatively into the room. When she saw the small ensemble and Jace’s grin, she tried to scoot back, but Jace was faster.

He grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her into the middle of the room. His other hand fidgeted with his dagger. “We both know you’re not a fighter, Dot. Make us a portal to the place where Magnus is. Now.” 

Dot squirmed in his hold. “Magnus told me no-”

But Jace didn’t let her finish. “But Magnus is not here, is he?  _ I _ am. And my dagger.” With a fluid motion, Jace brought the dagger to a snug rest at her neck, piercing her skin ever so slightly. But enough to make her hiss and for the first drops of blood to spill. 

“You will regret this,” Dot warned, but her magic was already dancing at her fingertips. Jace had been right. She was not a fighter.

“We will see about that.” Jace just shrugged. He could deal with Magnus’ wrath when he was back. Safely back. When the portal appeared, he drew his blade and stepped through it, followed by his accomplices. His Promise rune started to burn but Jace ignored it. A little pain would not distract him from his mission. Or a little more pain for that matter. 

* * *

When Jace’s feet hit solid ground, he immediately realized that something was off. The air was heavy with the scent of blood and death. The room where the portal had led them to was empty, but they could hear muffled voices through a door. Jace gestured silently for the others to follow him. 

They tiptoed their way to the door. Jace pressed one ear to it while activating his Hearing rune, but the voices were still too subdued to make out what was spoken in the other room. Carefully he pressed the door handle down, holding his breath and hoping the door wouldn’t make a sound - but they got lucky. The door swung open silently.

What Jace saw made his blood freeze in his veins. The Werewolves lay dead on the ground and the piles of ashes indicated that the Vampires were dead as well. Magnus was trapped in a device, his mouth open in a silent scream while some kind of magic was holding him floating in the air.  _ The Malachi Configuration.  _ Jace cursed under his breath.

Several Shadowhunters were standing in front of Magnus, a smirk playing around their lips while they watched their leader.  _ Raj.  _ Jace had always disliked the man. He held some kind of control in his hand, and whenever he pushed a button, the clear agony on Magnus’ face intensified.

“I’m getting impatient here. Tell us about the rebellion.” Raj’s annoyed voice cut through the room. But even when he hit the button again, Magnus managed to shake his head. 

Jace grabbed the hilt of his blade tighter. “Kill all if possible but not their leader, Raj, or the redhead. She’s his girlfriend. We might need her as a bargaining chip. I have no idea how to deactivate the device they hold Magnus in. Raj has to do that. I will take care of him,” Jace told them in a very low voice so that only they could hear him. 

Jace drew in a steadying breath. He felt his head was about to explode from the pressure of the Promise rune. It didn’t feel as if it was prodding at his brain, it felt like the rune was already inside it. But he needed to concentrate now. He needed to free Magnus before he gave in to the pressure curled up in a small ball, and screamed. 

Sweat was running down his forehead. He wiped it away angrily with the back of his hand, waiting for the Werewolves to turn into their wolf form. He nodded at the three of them, holding up his hand. When he indicated it was time, all four of them inched forward as silently as possible, using whatever cover the room offered. The soft clicking of the wolves’ claws on the hard floor was the only noise they made.

Thankfully the others were too mesmerized by the pain they caused Magnus to pay their surroundings much attention. When the first Shadowhunter fell with a claw buried in his heart, the others hadn’t really registered what was going on. Jace cut down one of his former fellow Shadowhunters mercilessly before he urged towards Raj. 

Raj turned just in time to avoid Jace’s blow. The control he held in his hand clattered to the ground and Jace dived after it, risking getting hit by Raj. But the control was more important now. He hissed in pain when Raj’s sword cut through his gear, ripping his side open. His whole body lit up with the power of his runes, his own pain urging him on as much as Magnus’ silent screams. 

He pocketed the control while rolling to the side, out of Raj’s reach. He sprang to his feet, ignoring the jolt of pain of the rune in his head that tried to consume him and force him to his knees. Raj was blind with rage. He didn’t register Jace’s vulnerability. He just attacked, without thinking, making himself easy prey. With one powerful blow Jace managed to disarm Raj, a kick to his chest made Raj scream in pain and fall to the ground. In a second Jace stood over him, pointing his blade to his throat. 

He looked up to find his friends had dealt with the others. Like he had ordered, they had killed all but Raj’s girlfriend. 

“Tell me how to deactivate it.” Jace sounded deadly. 

Raj squirmed under him. “If you spare me I can make you an honorable Shadowhunter again. I am powerful. I am the Second in Command! I have influence. You surely prefer your own kind over that sc-”

“Very careful now, Raj.  _ My  _ kind? You're coming with that now?  _ My  _ kind? The kind that wanted to de-rune me? I don’t have a  _ kind _ . I have _ friends  _ now. I have the Downworld. And you will tell me how to deactivate it. Now.”

“You’ll kill me anyway.” Raj looked at Jace with wide eyes when the realization settled in. 

Jace just smirked at him. “Maybe. Maybe not. But if you don’t tell me, I certainly will start with your girlfriend. And I’ll make it nice and slow. What was her name again? Tamara? Such a pretty name for a pretty girl. But I’m afraid she won't stay pretty for very long when the wolves are done with her. Right, Alaric, Bat? Or maybe Lilly wants to go first. I know that Shadowhunter blood tastes exquisite. But you know what, maybe  _ I  _ go first. I could cut out all her runes, as I don’t have a de-runing device.” 

Jace looked at Raj. He had paled. He looked at Jace mutely with huge eyes. “Oh, I see. You’re not the romantic type for big gestures. You’re not saving her, are you? Then I guess I will start with cutting out  _ your _ runes. You don’t need to tell me if it hurts. I don’t care.” 

Jace drew a dagger and was just about to cut into Raj’s skin, when Raj started to speak. 

“Please! Please don’t! The code is three-nine-four-two-one. And then push the yellow button.” 

“Lilly, hold him in check,” Jace ordered, while he was quick to enter the code. To his relief, the magic that held Magnus in place vanished instantly. Magnus slammed to the floor with a whimper. Jace was by his side in a second, scooping him up in his arms. 

“Kill Raj. Make it slow. Alaric, get a healer. Fast. And take the girl into custody. Maybe she can be useful. Magnus can decide later if we kill her or not. But I want him dead. Killed by the people he believes inferior. What a nice way to go. Now.” Jace cursed inwardly for not having brought a healer in the first place. 

“Shh, I’ve got you now, Magnus.” His own voice was tainted with pain and his pupils were blown wide so that his eyes were nearly completely dark, the pressure from the Promise rune slowly getting unbearable. He knew the rune was visible now, burning into his skin with an unforgiving force. 

Magnus smiled weakly at him. But he smiled. “I’m alright, Jace. No need to worry. I am not injured.” Away from the power the Malachi Configuration had wielded, Magnus recovered quickly. He was still in pain, his body aching from the torture he had endured, but it was already subduing. “You came for me.” 

Jace wanted to say something. How stupid Magnus had been. That next time he surely wouldn’t come, though this would have been a lie. But instead of a word, just a gurgling sound escaped his mouth before he collapsed into Magnus, suddenly their roles reversed. 

Before Magnus could ask what was happening, his eyes found the blazing Promise rune on Jace’s neck. He let his magic fly, but against the angelic power of the rune, his demonic powers stood no chance. The rune would burn until it subsided and only a scar would be left on Jace’s skin. There was nothing he or the healer that arrived could do. Jace didn’t remember when he started to scream, he also didn’t remember blacking out from the pain. But he remembered Magnus’ arms around him. 

* * *

Jace blinked his eyes open. He was lying in a comfy bed under a thick blanket. There was a dull pain still lingering in his brain and body, but it was less prominent now.

“Welcome back.” Magnus smiled down at him. He was dressed in fresh clothes, but the ordeal still lingered on his face. 

“Shouldn’t I be the one sitting on your bed?” Jace tried to sit up, hissing when the pain in his head increased. 

“Yes indeed. You should work on your rescue missions,” Magnus replied teasingly, reaching out to help Jace get comfortable. 

Both men sat there for a while, staring at each other. “You came for me.” Magnus repeated what he had said before. “Even though you knew what it would cost you.” He mapped out the white scar that was etched now in Jace’s skin.

“We have a revolution to win.” Jace swallowed, slightly shivering at the tender touch.

“A revolution. Right. That’s all it was?” Magnus’ hand trailed upwards, caressing Jace’s cheek. 

“What else could there be?” Jace's voice trembled a little. 

“Mmm. What else?” Magnus whispered, before he bent down to kiss Jace. More gentle than they had ever kissed before, both pouring all unsaid emotions into this one kiss. When he drew back and saw Jace’s expression, he knew they were both on the same page. Just that both were not yet ready to voice it aloud. But voicing it was also not the most important thing. Feeling it was.

“So, Jace,” Magnus said while moving Jace slightly so that he could slide into bed with him. “As you said, we have a revolution to win. We have the sword. We have valuable intel from that Tamara girl. Our plan played out, Valentine declared an open war after we stole the Soul Sword. He believes the Clave took it. But he is losing. Tamara revealed that the Circle is nearly beaten. That’s why they tried to move against us, though it was an unsanctioned mission. But Raj wanted to prove himself. Well, he certainly did prove something. But we should plan our next steps now.” 

Jace nodded his agreement, but was lacking the enthusiasm Magnus had expected.

“What is it, Jace?” 

Jace bit his lip. “You know, seeing those Shadowhunters just reminded me that I really don’t care about them anymore. But I still care about Izzy and Max. They are my siblings. I don’t want them caught in the crossfire of all this. And I just realized that in a couple of days, Max will have his first solo mission without supervision. A big day for him. We always planned to go on it together.”

Magnus looked at Jace for some moments before he nodded. “You are right. They are your siblings. I will get them to safety.”

Jace looked, astonished, at Magnus. “For me? You’ll kidnap them?” 

Magnus grinned at Jace. “Semantics. But yes, I will kidnap them and portal them to safety. I don’t want my best warrior distracted.” Magnus winked at Jace.

“Thank you, Magnus.” Jace pulled Magnus in for a deep kiss. “That means a lot to me.” 

“Apropos. What about Alexander? Does he still mean a lot to you?” 

Jace bit his lip again and looked away. “He cut our bond. He betrayed me. He clearly is not the person I thought he was. At least not anymore. But hell, yes, I miss him. It still hurts.”

Magnus made an indistinct sound in the back of his throat. “Isn’t it your birthday soon?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Jace looked up, surprised.

“Well, you’ll see, sweetheart. You’ll see.” 

It was the first time Magnus called Jace anything else but  _ Jace _ . And Jace had to admit he liked the sound of it. 

* * *

Alec felt empty. The ringing silence in his body was still the loudest noise he had ever heard. It was completely different from the silence before. The silence before had held a certain comfort, knowing that there was still a connection to Jace. Knowing that it was gone now left Alec devastated. He felt like he was standing on the edge of a huge void – or maybe he was already in the center of it. The only thing that kept him going was the thought of Izzy and Max. He had sacrificed everything to protect the two of them, he wouldn’t stop now.

He carried on. He swallowed down the humiliation of Maryse appointing Raj her Second in Command as a further punishment for his failure at the mission. He nodded politely every time Raj gave him orders, with a straight back and soldier’s stance, ignoring the scornful smirk playing around Raj’s lips. Raj never went openly against him, but every interaction made it more than clear how much he liked to have Alec under his thumb.

Alec tried to avoid sleep as much as possible. At the beginning, he had feared the nightmares. He had been prepared for them. What he hadn’t been prepared for was the blankness. Whenever his body demanded sleep more than his brain denied it, he fell in a deep darkness from which he woke more unsettled than rested. There were no dreams, no nightmares – there was just nothing. A black hole. Just the way he felt.

Whenever he woke from one of his dreamless sleeps at the dawn of a new day, more drained than before, Alec didn’t try to go back to sleep. He just got up, not bothering to shower or get breakfast first, and headed to the training room. In the early morning hours, when the new day had not yet fully taken over, he was mostly alone there. A fact he cherished. He didn’t need the smirks or, even worse, the looks of pity to remind him what he had lost. He was very well aware of that.

His body still ached from the mission yesterday and Alec welcomed the pain. He had used an Iratze to heal the most prominent cuts, but some he had left open. It was easier to deal with the emptiness inside when he at least felt himself on the outside. He still needed to function to be able to be there for his siblings and the pain helped him focus.

Alec went straight to the punching bag. It had been a while since he had last trained with his bow; the bow, a gift from Jace for his eighteenth birthday, reminded him too much of happier times. 

He just couldn’t bring himself to take the custom-made weapon into his hands and feel the familiar wood under his fingertips and not think of Jace. Of the pride in Jace’s eyes that had lit up the same way as his own when he had unwrapped the package and seen the gift. It was the perfect weapon. Perfect in its balance, in the elasticity of the string, the size matching perfectly to his height. It was perfect because it was from Jace. 

Therefore, he disregarded it now and went to the punching bag. He just couldn’t think of Jace right now, or ever. It hurt too much, and this was a pain he didn’t welcome. This was a pain that didn’t make him function but double down and sob.

When his fists hit the punching bag and pain shot through his still sore shoulder, Alec sighed in relief. Relentlessly he punched the bag again and again. He had deliberately chosen not to bandage his hands. He liked the way his knuckles were split open by the rough fabric and the light grey color turned into mélange, a little more each time he hit it.

After a while the pain didn’t jolt through his body any longer, it just stayed there until his whole body was numb. Alec was in a trance. He just punched the bag, as if this was the only thing that mattered. And for this short period of time, it was. And it felt good.

“Alec!”

Izzy’s worried voice threw Alec out of his trance. The next punch he landed made his body jolt with pain again, a small hiss escaping his mouth. But it didn’t make him stop.

“Alec!”

Izzy’s voice was tainted with panic now. Alec huffed annoyed, but he couldn’t ignore the urgency in her voice. He had never been able to ignore that.

“What?” He stepped back and turned to watch his sister.

“You’re bleeding, Alec. You need to stop.  _ This _ needs to stop.” Izzy was by his side a moment later, a stele ready in hand. To his surprise, he realized that Izzy was right. He  _ was  _ bleeding. And not only his knuckles – of which he had been aware – but many small cuts on his upper arms and upper body had reopened. All were cuts he hadn’t healed properly the day before.

Alec didn’t respond to his sister. He had no idea how. He knew she was right. This needed to stop. But he had no idea how to make it stop. Or what  _ this _ really was.

“Thank you, Iz,” he said instead, watching his skin knit itself back together under the faint glow of her Iratze. Since he had broken the Parabatai Bond, he had the feeling that none of his runes worked as well as before – though he  _ knew  _ that couldn’t be the case. Of course they didn’t work as well as if Jace applied them – runes applied by a Parabatai always worked better – but they worked as good as before when he had applied them. At least this was what his brain told him. His body spoke a different language. 

“Do you know what date tomorrow is, Alec?” Izzy brushed slightly over his knuckles, as if to verify that they were healed. She sighed when Alec just shook his head.

“It’s Max's first real mission.” She sounded proud, but also a little reluctant, the same feeling that spread in Alec’s chest. He was not quite ready to acknowledge that his little brother was old enough to go out on missions already, but proud that he had passed the test.

“I forgot,” Alec admitted, his cheeks warming up, shame mixing with pride and reluctance. He had been too occupied with his own life to remember this important date. But he straightened his back now. “We’ll accompany him.”

“Of course we will!” Izzy sounded relieved when she heard the determination in Alec’s voice. “We planned for this so long.”

Neither of them mentioned that they had always planned for the four of them to go on Max's first real mission together. Both well aware they were thinking about it anyway.

* * *

The next day was bright and sunny. No cloud could be seen on a spotless blue sky.

“Ready?” Alec asked his little brother, ruffling his hair.

All three of them were geared up and covered in battle runes. Max had been more than proud when Alec had let him draw the runes on him, and he had done the same for Max.

Max adjusted the dagger in his thigh holster, checking again to make sure he had everything he needed. “Yes. I’m ready.”

“Let’s do this!” Izzy smiled proudly at him, before she gestured for Max to take the lead. They had detected demon activity in an abandoned house, probably a Shax demon.

When they arrived at the house, everything seemed normal. They took their time to scan the perimeter, Max taking the lead. Alec was proud to see the ease with which Max handled everything. He showed no fear, but he was also not too eager to run headfirst into danger.

Max was the first to enter the house, flanked by Izzy and Alec. Rays of sun flooded the room that lay ahead of them through a broken window. It was unusually quiet. Until it wasn’t. All of a sudden, everything around Alec exploded with noises, magic flaring up. Before he could scream,  _ “Trap!”  _ everything was already dark. Alec failed to register his siblings going down on the floor together with him. He was already unconscious. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the long-awaited reunion of the three. Hope you'll enjoy it. For those who haven't checked out the amazing art Jessa created you absolutely have to, it is matching this chapter - just follow the link for the inspired works.

Alec woke slowly. He tried to blink his eyes open, but his body didn’t obey his command. Not just yet. He swallowed and tried to say something, but his tongue was pushing against something round with a rough surface that was stuck in his mouth. The realization that he was gagged hit Alec unprepared. The sudden rush of adrenaline through his body helped him to finally open his eyes. But all he saw was darkness. He was not only gagged, he was also blindfolded. 

Alec tried to move, but he was held in place by something unknown without any give to it. Alec tried to stir at least his hands, but he realized they were tightly secured behind his back. He registered that he was kneeling on a hard ground. He briefly wondered how he could be kneeling when he had been unconscious a second ago, but then it hit him. Magic. He was held in place by magic. 

It took him a moment longer to fully take in the voices. What they said and to whom they belonged.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Magnus’ voice was soft and silky. Alec had to swallow at that sound. It was the softness Magnus had used talking to him, when he had called him _darling_. Though his mouth was dry, held slightly open by the gag in it, he had to swallow even harder when the next sounds he heard indicated that Magnus was kissing someone.

“You…” 

Alec’s heart stopped for a second before it picked up pace to fall into a feverish rhythm. _Jace._ This sounded like Jace. Of course he had heard the rumors that Jace had joined Magnus after his spectacular escape from the City of Bones, but he had never pictured Magnus and Jace also being together in a different meaning. It had been just one word, but Alec would always recognize his Parabatai's voice. Though, strictly speaking, they were no longer Parabatai. 

“You haven’t… Magnus, have you?” Jace sounded baffled and a little at a loss for what to say. 

Magnus just chuckled darkly in response. “I have. I know that you still want him. And now you can have him in every way you like. And it’s your first birthday with me. So I thought it should be something special.” 

Alec froze inwardly at those words. Magnus sounded cruel, like he had never sounded before. _Every way._ Surely this couldn’t mean…? But what if it did? Alec tried to squirm, but the magic still held him firmly in place. Against his better knowledge, he tried to speak again, but only a broken sound escaped his throat - a sound both men ignored at first. 

“And you have him wrapped up so nicely. Just a bow is missing.” Jace laughed, clearly having shaken himself out of his initial puzzlement. 

“Oh, I could conjure him one? But doesn’t he look pretty on his knees?” Magnus replied lightly.

“Yeah you were right. He looks damn hot on his knees.” Jace admitted in a teasing voice.

Alec knew he was blushing at these words, remembering that he had liked kneeling for Magnus. He had liked to give up control and give himself over into Magnus’ care. But being spoken about like that made his cheeks warm up in shame. This kneeling was completely different. He must have made another sound, as this time the two men reacted.

“Oh, I think he wants to join in on our conversation. Shall I, angel?” Magnus asked.

“Just the blindfold.” Jace’s indifferent and cold answer made Alec shiver, but he was still held in his kneeling position with no possibility to move. 

With a snap the blindfold was gone. Alec looked up at the two men he loved most in his life. More than himself. He looked up at the two men he had betrayed beyond words. Beyond forgiveness. Especially Jace. He was met with two pairs of cold eyes.

Alec’s Shadowhunter instincts kicked in when he was finally able to see. Though he couldn’t drag his gaze off Jace and Magnus, in the corners of his eyes he registered that he was in a large room that looked oddly familiar. But only to a certain extent. It reminded him painfully of Magnus’ loft. There was a huge bed at the back of one wall, a comfortable looking couch in the corner. He was kneeling in the middle of the room, like he was kind of an offering. Which he definitely was. 

Alec’s heart picked up pace when Jace strolled over to him, reaching for a dagger that was secured in his thigh holster. Jace locked eyes while he drew it slowly. Alec didn’t dare to look away, holding Jace’s gaze, though he wished he could look elsewhere.

“Hello Alec. Happy to see me again, _Parabatai?”_ Jace spat at him.

Though Alec knew he deserved it, the fact that Jace used _Parabatai_ as an insult hurt. 

Jace chuckled darkly when he noted Alec’s widening eyes at the use of the word and the dagger in his hand. He stepped in front of Alec and looked down on him. 

“Maybe not so much, huh? I bet you would rather be with your Clave buddies, plotting how to kill Magnus and me. A pity that you didn’t get to it the last time we saw each other. But the tables have turned now. There are so many things I could do with you, Alec. So many things.” Jace still looked down on him, a small smile playing around his lips.

Alec heard the blood drumming in his ears. Vainly he tried to speak again, but the ball gag muffled all his attempts.

“Release him from the magic please, Magnus.” Jace turned slightly to Magnus, his smile deepening when his eyes found Magnus’. The spark Alec saw flying between the two men made Alec tremble inwardly. It was the same spark he had seen between Magnus and himself. The same spark he had always felt between him and Jace. But now he was excluded. The spark still existed, but just between the two of them now.

“As you wish, angel.” With a snap, the magic that had forced - but also held - Alec in a kneeling position was suddenly gone and Alec nearly fell, unprepared for the sudden loss of stability. But Jace was quicker. He grabbed Alec by his hair, yanking him back into position and tilting his head even more in the process. Alec hissed muffledly at the pain and he felt tears pricking in his eyes. 

“Keep still now.” Jace ordered coldly and there was nothing left to do for Alec than to obey, forcing his body to still. Alec had no idea why he felt a little colder when Jace let go of his hair, but he did. 

“When I was imprisoned in the City of Bones and the Silent Brothers tried to suck away all my hope like they did with the other prisoners, do you know what kept me sane there, Alec? Do you?” Jace spoke very lowly, nearly inaudible. He had raised his hand to let the dagger roam over Alec’s face. He started at Alec’s right ear, following his jawline, going down to rub over Alec’s Adam’s apple. Alec felt the sharp blade and he knew Jace needed to apply just a tiny little more pressure and blood would spill. Alec kept still like a statue. 

“I think you can figure it out. The thought of you. Even when they announced that I was sentenced to get de-runed, I didn’t lose hope. I knew you would come. I knew you would fight for me. Can you imagine my relief when you showed up? Can you imagine the pain when I realized that you didn’t come to save me? Oh, you came to fight. But not _for_ me. _Against_ me.” 

Jace’s voice was so full of remembered pain, it made Alec want to cry. He wanted to say something. Yell that he had been forced, that he had wanted nothing more than to fight with Jace. But the gag was still firmly secured in his mouth and he couldn’t speak. He could only keep still. Jace let the dagger roam further, trailing his way down his throat, over the prominent Deflect rune Jace had drawn there himself. Back then, when the world had still been in order and not fallen apart.

“What did they offer you, Alec? To go against me? The position of Head of the Institute? Have you been so cheap? What a shame you never got it, huh. I have never been a traitor, Alec. And you knew that. _They_ knew that. Otherwise they would have given me a fair trial. I sacrificed everything for them. _Everything_. But they needed someone to blame, didn’t they? I’ve never been a traitor. There is only one traitor, Alec. And that’s you. First you betrayed Magnus and then you betrayed me. You betrayed our bond. But I’m sure you were glad when you could get rid of the bond so easily. With a new rune drawn over it. That was really clever. But you have always been clever. Did Clary help you, Alec? Did she invent this marvelous new rune that broke our bond prettily without damaging your precious soul?” A visible shudder ran over Jace’s body while he remembered the way the new rune had suddenly appeared on his body, covering up the Parabatai rune and breaking their bond.

The words hurt Alec more than he could tell, especially as he knew them to be true. He had betrayed Magnus. He had betrayed Jace. And he paid the price for it. Everyday. Every sleepless night. Alec saw the way Jace’s hand tightened around the hilt of the dagger, but he still kept it steady. The pressure to his throat was constant and unwavering. Alec swallowed. He wished he could talk, he wished he could beg. But all he could do was plead with his eyes. For forgiveness. For Jace and Magnus to still love him. 

“What am I doing now with you, _Parabatai?”_

Magnus came up behind Jace and slung one arm around him, kissing Jace's nape softly. “That’s the good thing about presents. They are yours to do whatever you want with.” 

A harsh knock to the door interrupted them. Both Magnus’ and Jace’s eyes went instantly to the door, but Jace still held the dagger pressed to Alec’s throat. 

“I am sorry to intrude, but it’s urgent. Magnus, we need you.” An uncertain voice rang through the door. 

Magnus sighed. “All right. I’m there in a second.” He kissed Jace again. “You can stay here if you want, angel. It’s your birthday after all.” 

But Jace just shook his head. “I’ll come with you. She sounded distressed. We’ll handle it together.” With a regretful sigh he removed the dagger from Alec’s throat, and secured it to his holster. 

“Come in and take him to one of the holding cells. Make sure he doesn’t see his surroundings. You can remove his shackles when he is in the cell. And the blindfold,” Jace ordered firmly, used to his commands being obeyed. With a snap, the blindfold over Alec’s eyes was back in place. 

Alec heard the door open and someone approach. He winced slightly when he was yanked into a standing position. His knees and whole body hurt from having been forced to stay in the same position for too long.

“Come on. And don’t try anything, _Shadowhunter_ .” The voice was cold as ice, saying _Shadowhunter_ in the same way as Jace had earlier said _Parabatai_. Alec struggled to keep up when he was dragged outside by cruel hands, led through several corridors until he was shoved into a small cell. Once inside, the blindfold, gag and shackles were removed and for the first time since his kidnapping, Alec could move freely. At least as freely as it was possible to in such a tiny cell.

  
  


* * *

Alec settled down on the floor, his knees drawn to his chest. His back rested against the cold wall. The lighting was dim, but he could see enough. There was not much to see anyway. There was a narrow bed and that was about it. With one hand he massaged his jaw lightly, trying to ease the dull pain from being gagged for so long.

It was the first time he could really think. He wondered what had happened to Izzy and Max. His last clear memory before he had woken up, bound and gagged on his knees, was that he had been with them on Max’s first solo mission. Between entering the house and now was only darkness. He hoped his siblings were safe, whatever safe meant these days, with an ongoing war with the Circle and the possible rebellion of the entire Downworld. 

He wasn't sure where he was. The only thing he knew was that it was not Magnus’ loft, though the room he had been in had looked familiar to the master bedroom there. The one he had shared with Magnus, but he really didn’t want to think about that now. About the other times Magnus had made him kneel and how much he had liked it. To give up control. To feel owned. 

He also didn’t want to think about the fact that Magnus had _gifted_ him to Jace, as if he was nothing more than an object. He most definitely didn’t want to think about what this had done to him. That something had stirred at the thought of being Jace’s. And Magnus’. He bit his lip, trying to avoid the tears that started to burn in his eyes. The thought of belonging to them made him feel warm - not belonging as in the fucked-up way now, but in another way. In a loving one. But Alec knew that this was just a dream that wouldn’t come true. 

Alec had no idea how long he sat there, with his eyes closed and his head resting against the hard wall, before loud footsteps outside made him tense and look up. He stared into mismatched eyes that looked down at him with a measuring expression. Alec swallowed dry. He had thought about what to say to Jace or Magnus. But now, being face to face with Jace, he was lost for words. 

“Can I…” he started, but had to clear his throat before he could go on. “Can I ask something?” 

The silence stretched on and just when Alec thought he had received his answer, Jace started to speak. “One thing. Choose wisely.” 

“Are Izzy and Max safe?” Alec had wanted to ask and say so many things, but right now this was the most important. He was not sure if it was just his imagination, the dim lighting or the truth, but Alec thought he saw Jace’s features softening a little at that question. 

“Magnus portaled them to safety. They are far away from everything. It’s not their war to fight. Nor their war to die for.” Jace watched Alec closely at this revelation. 

Alec exhaled in relief. He had been worried that the Clave or Maryse would punish Izzy somehow for his disappearance. Now with this worry taken away from him, he felt much better. “Thank you,” he said softly, biting his lip just afterwards, realizing he had spoken without permission.

Jace just huffed. “We didn’t do that for you, Alec. Max and Izzy are my siblings. They deserve to be safe. Just because you suddenly don’t know anymore who your people are, doesn’t mean I don’t either.” 

At these words, Alec looked away, biting back tears. He pressed his nails into his palms. If Jace just knew. If he just knew why he had done what he had done. He needed to explain it.

“Please, Jace, let me-” Alec started, but was interrupted by Jace, who yanked the cell door open, stepped inside and towered dangerously over him.

“Shut up, Alec. I said one thing. Besides, I don't want to hear your stories and lies. Your pathetic attempts to save yourself. You can spare us all that. Here.” Jace threw something at Alec’s feet. Tentatively, Alec picked it up. It was a hood made of a rough hemp fabric. “I decided to let you go. I have no use for you here. And as much as I couldn’t kill you in the City of Bones, I can’t kill you now. Not when you are defenseless. But believe me, Alec, all good things come in threes. When we meet again on the battlefield, I won't have this issue. Put the hood on, you’ll be escorted outside.” 

With that, Jace turned and went, leaving the cell door open. Alec saw two Warlocks waiting by the cell door, magic curling around their fingertips. The _clong_ of Jace’s heels rang loudly through the cell, one of the loudest noises Alec had ever heard. He knew he should be grateful. They let him go. But Alec realized that the last thing he wanted was to be let go. 

“Jace,” he yelled at Jace’s back. “What if i don’t want to go?” the second part had come out much quieter, the lump in his throat growing too big. The fear of being rejected too high. But it was true. He didn’t want to go. Izzy and Max were safe and far away from the Clave and Maryse, the only reason he had still played the Clave’s game. 

Jace froze in his tracks. Slowly, he turned and stepped a little closer again. “What did you say?”

Alec took a steadying breath before he answered, trying to make his voice as even as possible. “What if I don’t want to go?” 

Jace was in front of him in seconds, yanking his head back so that it painfully hit the wall, the impact and the iron grip to his hair bringing tears to his eyes. “What kind of game are you playing, Alec?” 

Alec felt Jace’s hot breath on his face, making his skin break into goosebumps. “I’m not playing games, Jace. I never wanted to betray you. To cut our bond. Please, you have to believe me. I don’t want to go back. They forced me to do all this. They made me do it!”

Jace let go of Alec’s hair as suddenly as he had grabbed him. He took two steps back and Alec already missed the closeness. “You chose to do it, Alec! You chose to!" Jace grabbed Alec's shirt and yanked it up, exposing the Parabatai rune. 

Alec had to bite back tears. Jace was right. He had chosen. But there hadn't been really one. Not with Izzy's life at stake. He rubbed angrily at his eyes. "Jace, please. Please. They forced me, they-"

"How could they possibly have done that?” Jace interrupted him cruelly.

“Max. Izzy.” Alec simply said, before he elaborated. “Maryse had a death sentence for Izzy already issued and ready, only her signature was missing. And she would have done it, Jace. She would.” He looked up to meet Jace’s eyes to emphasize what he was saying. He needed to convince Jace - and a little bit himself. Though he was fairly certain that Maryse would have signed the death sentence if he hadn’t complied, the possibility that he had misjudged the situation and betrayed Jace for nothing still nagged at him. 

Jace eyed him for a moment, an unreadable expression on his face. But then Jace shook his head. “How can I believe you? That this is not just a game you are playing to be able to spy on us? You lied to Magnus to protect the Clave. How can we be sure that this is real? Why didn’t you just tell Izzy and then take her and Max and run? Why didn’t you kill Aldertree or tell me to do it in the City of Bones and explain everything?” 

“I… I just couldn’t see it at that time, Jace. I didn’t see that there was a path next to the one I chose. I know now that there was. But back then, I didn’t. And I don't have proof. You need to trust me.” Alec knew how hollow that sounded.

“I did trust you, Alec.” Jace punched with his fist against the cell wall, making Alec jerk at the dull sound and Jace’s slight wince. “I fucking did trust you with my life. My soul. I was even about to trust you with my heart. But then you tried to de-rune me. You even cut our bond. Our _bond,_ Alec. How am I supposed to trust you again? With anything? I always thought we’d be forever. And not just until the first inconvenience popped up and you decided it was better to part with me.” 

Tears had started to fall at Jace’s words, especially when Jace mentioned his heart. Could he mean what Alec thought he did? But it didn’t matter anyway. If Jace had felt for him like this, it was long gone. Destroyed by Alec and his actions. Alec stood up on shaky legs, reaching out for Jace, but not touching him. 

“We are forever, Jace. At least to me, you’ll always be my forever. But I couldn’t think of another way to protect Izzy and Max. I’m sorry, Jace. I’m so sorry. I'll do anything to prove you can trust me. Anything, Jace.” He rubbed angrily at his tears, glad that his voice was relatively steady. He didn’t want to seem weak. “I lo-”

“Don’t you dare talk about love Alec. Don’t you dare. But anything, huh?” Jace stared at him, the inner fight visible on his usually controlled face. 

“Anything.” Alec nodded to emphasize the meaning. 

“Get on your knees.” Jace’s voice was demanding and though Alec blushed, fully aware that the two Warlocks were still watching, he dropped to his knees without hesitation, looking up at Jace with wide eyes.

Jace stepped a little closer. “Lick them clean.” 

Alec could feel his cheeks turn a shade darker at the command. Just in time he bit back the _what_ because he knew damn well what Jace wanted from him. His eyes darted between Jace’s face and his boots, back and forth, a little unsure. He had never done that. And in private, he probably wouldn’t mind so much. But he could feel the smirk on the Warlocks’ faces burn into his skin. 

“You heard me, Alec. Lick. Them. Clean.” Jace sounded impatient and with an edge to his voice. Disappointed. He sounded disappointed. 

_Anything,_ Alec reminded himself, before he scooted a little closer and bent down. He started to lick tentatively over the rough leather. It tasted oddly neutral, with a hint of a bitter, chemical taste that made his tongue tingle. He could feel Jace’s eyes on him, burning into the back of his head. And the moment he concentrated on that feeling, instead of focusing on the Warlocks, it got easy. His tongue darted out with more vigor and he licked over the boot toe, before he proceeded with the boot tongue, giving it kitten licks. 

He licked a wet line over the bootleg, before his tongue swirled around the laces. All he could feel now was Jace’s presence, the way he towered over him. But not in a threatening way. On the contrary, it felt comforting. When he was finished with Jace’s first boot, he continued with the second without looking up. He didn’t dare to shift his gaze, too afraid to see disgust or disappointment on Jace’s face. He didn’t want to lose the soothing feeling of his tongue against the rough material, getting lost in the simple task of licking and cleaning.

A sharp tug to his hair made him finally look up. What he saw in Jace’s face, was anything but disgust. It was relief mixed with something else, something Alec couldn’t quite decipher.

Jace tilted Alec’s head a little further. “So you mean what you said? Anything?”

“Yes.” Alec simply said.

“This will not be easy, Alec. I can’t just trust you again.” Alec wasn’t sure what to make of Jace’s voice. If the hint of longing was really there, if the touch of regret was just in his imagination or real. 

“I know.” Their eyes locked and for the first time in ages Alec didn’t feel lost anymore. Not easy didn’t mean impossible. He would do anything they asked of him. And though he was sure they wouldn’t start to love him again, having seen the love they shared, he hoped they would start to like him again. Trust him. And maybe that was enough. 

* * *

Alec knelt in front of Magnus, his eyes directed to the ground. There was a distance between them that felt wrong. Magnus was too far away. Alec tried to calm his breathing. It was not the kneeling that made his breathing speed up. The kneeling was easy. He just had to drop to his knees, clasp his hands behind his back and remain in this position. Wait for the rest to come. The waiting was the hard part. He hadn’t spoken to Magnus yet, not in a way that mattered. He had apologized to Jace, trying to make him see why he had done what he had. That it hadn’t been his choice. That he had been forced and that his actions had hurt him as much as they had hurt Jace. 

He wasn’t sure what Jace really thought. His face was always guarded when they talked. He always kept his distance. And where once was a bond to verify his feelings, a means to reach out to Jace where words were too little, there was just emptiness. Their bond was gone and Alec had no idea if they were ever to regain it again. Maybe Clary knew a way to counter the rune she had created. Maybe they could remove it with a de-runing device from the Silent Brothers. Maybe Jace didn’t want any of that. 

But at least they had talked. At least he had been allowed to voice his regrets. To try to right the wrong he had done. Magnus had avoided him. Jace had always been with them the few times he had been with Magnus at all and Alec had no idea how to apologize to Magnus with Jace there. How to tell him that he still loved him, always had. 

“Jace says that you wanted to talk to me. So go ahead. Talk.” 

Magnus’ voice was harsh and Alec didn’t dare to look up. He swallowed. Though he had played out this scene in his head multiple times, he was now lost for words. He shifted a little, trying to find a more comfortable position. His knees hurt but he ignored the pain. If he was honest there was even something soothing in the dull pain.

Alec licked over his dry lips, still searching for something to say in his empty head.

“Look at me when I talk to you.” 

The command was clear and Alec managed to drag his eyes off the floor and meet Magnus’ scrutinizing gaze. Magnus’ eyes were colder than Alec had ever seen them. His tongue darted out again to lick over his lips, buying him time to think. But his brain refused to come up with anything.

“I…” Alec’s voice trailed away. “I’m sorry.” He winced inwardly at his own pathetic words. “Please, Magnus, you have-” 

“This is where you are wrong, _Alec_. I don’t have to do anything. The times where I let your kind push me around are over.” Magnus interrupted him coldly.

Alec blushed a deep red. He bit his lip forcefully until he tasted blood. “I’m sorry,” he repeated lamely, swallowing down the foul taste and trying to say what he really wanted to say. Needed to say. 

“I’m sorry for lying to you. I’m sorry for choosing Nephilim over you. Over our love. I thought I did the right thing. But I didn’t. I’m sorry I didn’t see earlier what kind of people I chose. I love you, Magnus. I always loved you, even when I lied to you. And I know you don’t love me anymore and that is okay. You have Jace now. But I beg you to forgive me. I don’t know how to live without you. Without Jace. I know it won’t be like before, but I can’t be on different sides.” Even if the same side meant he would kneel forever. He would. To regain their trust he would do anything _._

Alec bit back the small sigh when he saw Magnus’ eyes softening for a moment before the hard gleam came back.

“And how do you feel about Jace?” 

Alec squirmed. It was a simple question and he knew the answer to it. Had known it all along. But he had never voiced it. Not to Magnus. Not to Jace. And also not really to himself. But he knew lying was not an option. He felt his cheeks warm up even more, but he held Magnus’ merciless gaze.

“I love him, too. And I’m sorry that I never told you that. But this doesn’t mean that I love you less. I love you both.” Alec had no idea if he made sense or not and if this was the answer Magnus had wanted to hear, or if now everything was over for him.

Magnus stared for a little longer at Alec, before he just nodded. “I know.” The sudden softness in Magnus’ made Alec shiver. 

“Come here.” Magnus snapped with his fingers and he held something in his hand. 

Alec stood up shakily, his legs nearly not supporting his weight after the long time spent kneeling. With a few steps, he bridged the gap between them. Without having to be told, he dropped to his knees again. He looked up at Magnus, gulping when he saw what Magnus had conjured. A collar. It was a beautiful metal collar with a lock and a small ring attached to it. Alec stared at it, not sure what to make of it before dragging his eyes off the silver collar.

“What are you willing to do to regain our trust?” Magnus looked Alec directly in the eyes while he stated the same question Jace had. Without having to think, Alec gave the same answer.

“Anything.” He held Magnus’ stare steadily. For a moment, they just looked at each other and all Alec wanted to do was lean into Magnus, rub his face against his knee or feel his hand in his hair. 

Magnus let one hand run over the metal, while his eyes never left Alec’s face. “As you can see, this is a collar, Alexander. We want you to wear it, as a sign. A sign that you truly mean what you say. That you want to be here and with us. That you follow our lead. It’s a very special collar. I infused it with my magic and it won’t allow you to talk while you wear it. Only when I or Jace give you permission or when you talk directly to us. There’s a safeword you can always use if you want the collar to come off. This word you can always voice, no matter what. And Jace or I will take it off. It’s _Clave_. Understood?”

Alec gulped, but nodded while he leaned in a little further and tilted his head to allow Magnus to secure the collar on his neck. Mixed feelings were coursing through his body while he was drawing in breath. A collar could be a sign of humiliation. But also a sign of belonging. Alec just hoped it was meant more as the second, even though the restriction of speech was something he had to chew on. But he had noticed instantly that Magnus had used his full name again. _Alexander_. It was the first time since Magnus had broken up with him. It must be a good sign. It must. 

Magnus’ hands were surprisingly gentle when he slung the collar around Alec’s throat and pulled it closed so that it sat snuggly against his neck. The collar was smooth and cold against his hot skin. Goosebumps were spreading, increasing when Magnus ran one finger under the collar to verify that it wasn’t too tight. For a moment Alec closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Magnus’ fingertips on his skin, remembering the times when this had been normal. When he had been happy. 

Alec’s hand came up to touch the cool metal. The collar felt strange. Not unpleasantly, but strange and unfamiliar. The complete collar was smooth, the edges rounded. Only in the middle of the collar, directly over his Adam’s apple, did Alec feel a certain roughness. 

Just when Alec wanted to say something, the door opened and Jace stepped through, his hair slightly tousled and cheeks flushed, as if he had run. When he caught sight of the collar around Alec’s throat, his eyes darkened considerably. 

“Ah, perfect timing, Jace. I just gave Alexander our special little gift. And this is for you, my angel.” Magnus smiled at Jace as he stepped closer. Magnus held a matching silver key attached to a delicate chain in his hand. “I just explained the collar to him and what it does. And that we can both open it, I with my magic and you with the key.” 

Jace smiled when he leaned down to let Magnus slip the chain over his head, so that the key came to a rest over his heart. His gaze was fixed on Alec, who blushed considerably under the stare. 

“You’re the best,” Jace whispered to Magnus when he finally dragged his eyes away, grabbing Magnus by the lapel of his jacket and pulling him in for a kiss. “The others are ready, they are just waiting for you.”

Magnus nodded. “I just need a minute. Go ahead Jace, I’ll join soon.” 

Jace pressed another chaste kiss to Magnus lips before he left. Alec had closed his eyes at the mutual display of affection. A yearning pulsated in Alec’s body that was hard to deal with. 

“Alexander.” 

Alec’s eyes snapped open and he looked up at Magnus. He sighed inwardly when Magnus’ hand came up to cup his cheek, but didn’t dare to voice it aloud. 

“I don’t know if you can understand this, but before I met you, I had walls around my heart. Walls to protect me. And then you came and tore them down. And I was happy. I truly thought that I had found real love with you. And when my walls were down you hurt me. I always feared that you would choose Nephilim over me. Your people. And so you did. I understand why you did it. I do now. But my walls came up again. And though Jace tore them down once again, I am not sure if I can let them down for you.” Magnus looked at Alec for a moment longer before he withdrew his hand. 

“They’re not my people. Never been my people. I just realized that too late.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment any further. “Come on. There’s a meeting I need to attend and I want you to accompany me.” 

Alec nodded and rose to his feet. He knew there was a huge meeting between all important Downworlders to discuss their further strategy for their rebellion. A rebellion Alec was now part of. But he didn’t feel regret. What he had heard from Jace and Magnus, what he had experienced himself, he knew Magnus would be the better leader. Even if it meant that the rule of the Shadowhunters was over. Even if it meant that this time, the Shadowhunters had to kneel. But Alec didn’t care about that. He just wanted Magnus back. He wanted Jace back - and he wanted Max and Izzy to be safe, but at least this was something he didn’t need to worry about. 

Magnus led him into a huge hall that was already crowded. He saw Seelies, recognizing Meliorn. Meliorn wore the sigils of the Seelie King proudly, indicating his new status. Seelie Knights were gathered around him, but they were more relaxed than Alec had ever seen them before. 

He saw Raphael and some of his Vampires from the New York clan, but there were also Vampires Alec didn’t know. Luke and his Werewolves were also already gathered. So were a handful of Warlocks. To Alec’s horror, he recognized the two from the cells that had witnessed how he had licked Jace’s boots. The memory made Alec look down in embarrassment. And even though he tried not to look, he felt their eyes on him. Felt them whispering. While he walked through the crowd, one step behind Magnus, he felt more stares. The whispers and little laughs increased to a crescendo and he had to concentrate hard just to set one foot in front of the other. 

Magnus went up to a platform where a throne-like chair was placed. Jace was already there, standing right behind Magnus’ throne. Showing their union, but also giving Jace an overview of the room, to be able to eliminate any possible threat. Jace was carrying weapons, the only person who was openly armed. But Vampires, Werewolves, and Warlocks were their own weapons, they didn’t need additional ones. And also Seelies possessed a special kind of magic.

For a moment Alec wasn’t sure what was expected from him, but when Magnus settled down on the chair and looked at him with a raised eyebrow, he suddenly understood. He dropped to his knees once more, though this time he was a little hesitant. He could hear the voices behind his back, the laughter, the remarks about the collar that stood out in a sparkling silver against his pale skin. He was glad that he was facing away from the crowd so that at least no one saw his burning cheeks. _Anything_ , he reminded himself. _Anything._

* * *

Alec had grown used to the collar and the restriction of speech. He had grown used to the kneeling. He understood where Jace and Magnus were coming from. They wanted his complete submission. They wanted to see that _he_ trusted _them,_ so that they could start to trust him again. And he thought they had already started to do so.

Their initial harshness had faded and was replaced by a softer tone. They had started to touch him more. A little tug to his hair here, a soft brush of hands over his face there. And Alec craved these touches. He craved the softness. They were small rays of hope that maybe someday they truly would forgive him. Not love him, but forgive him. He was set on always doing what they wanted, no matter what. So far, he had never used the safe word they had given him. And he was determined to keep it that way. 

Alec was alone in Magnus’ suite when the door slid open and two Warlocks slipped in. He watched them approach with a frown on his face. Magnus had told him to wait in the room until he and Jace came back. Normally, Magnus never allowed other people entrance to his private quarters. There were wards in place that prevented any unwelcome intruders. 

The two Warlocks must be there with Magnus’ blessing Alec figured. He couldn’t find another explanation for it. But he really didn’t like the nasty smirks they carried on their faces, nor the hungry eyes that roamed over his body. 

“Look at him. How pretty he is with his collar. I always wanted to have a Nephilim on his knees in front of me. And he really kneels so prettily.” The first Warlock came closer while the other shut the door. Alec gulped. They were the same Warlocks that had guarded him in his cell. 

Alec’s hand shot up to his collar, nervously playing with it. He hated that he couldn’t say anything. He hated the way they talked about him as if he wasn’t even in the room. As if he couldn’t hear them, just because he couldn’t talk. 

“It’s so nice of Magnus to lend us his toy, don’t you think? That’s all Nephilim are good for. Little play things to do with as we please. And as Magnus has two, it’s really about damn time that we also got to play with one. Get on your knees, pretty boy.” The second Warlock had strolled over and now stood directly in front of Alec, his nasty smirk deepening when he saw Alec’s uncomfortableness. He winked at his friend when he passed him, the other winking conspiratorially back. Alec had no idea what to make of it. 

“Is something wrong with your ears? I said _get on your damn knees_.” The Warlock’s eyes narrowed dangerously. 

Alec glared back at him but then decided to do what he was told. _Anything,_ he reminded himself again. If these two Warlocks were in Magnus’ room, they must have his permission. 

But before he could even react, the Warlock slapped him hard in the face. Alec’s lip split open and he tasted blood. The other Warlock just laughed while red magic poured out of his hands. Alec felt his hands being bound magically behind his back. With another snap, his shirt vanished. Something punched him in the hollow of his knees. He dropped forcefully forward, barely able to contain the pained grunt as he wasn’t able to absorb his fall with his hands.

“Much better. I think this toy needs a lot more training.” The Warlock grinned while he watched Alec in front of him. “I think we can be of help.” 

Alec froze when he heard the unbuckling of a belt. With a devilish smile the Warlock removed his belt, snapped it a few times and weighed it in his hand. “You know, I could do this with magic. But sometimes, the hands-on approach is just so much more fun. It’s a pity that you can’t count aloud. I guess I’ll just have to estimate.” 

He raised his arm high in the air before he brought it down hard on Alec’s naked back. Alec hissed at the sudden pain, but this was the only sign of pain he showed. The next blows he endured silently, gritting his teeth forcefully so as not to give them any more satisfaction. 

“Try the buckle,” the other Warlock said with a cruel smile. “We can heal him later with our magic.” 

Nodding, the Warlock complied. He switched his grip on the belt so that the next time he brought it down, the buckle hit Alec’s back, biting deep into his flesh. Alec tried, but after the fifth lash, he couldn’t hold back any longer. A sound halfway between a scream and howl escaped him, the collar not letting him say anything else, but allowing the pained noises to escape.

Each new lash was stronger than the one before. Alec fought to keep his position, to at least not show more weakness. But after the twentieth blow, he couldn’t hold his body up any longer and collapsed onto the carpet, unable to come up again. He knew he could say the word. He knew that would alarm Jace and Magnus. 

But he had promised them anything. And if Jace and Magnus wanted him to endure this pain, this punishment, then he would endure it. He could endure this. He tried to contain his screams the best he could, but he couldn’t help the tears that streamed down his face the longer the Warlock brought the belt down, until Alec was sure that his back was just a bleeding mess with no unbroken skin left. 

“That’s enough. I want him conscious for the next part.” The other Warlock pushed the first out of the way. Alec tried to regain his breathing. _Next part_ didn’t sound good. 

_Anything_ , Alec reminded himself _._

But when he heard the unbuckling of another belt, he couldn’t help but shake his head. Someone grabbed him brutally by his hair and yanked his head back. A jolt of pain ran through his body at the sudden movement. He stared wide-eyed at the Warlock who grinned down at him, his hard cock in hand. “Open up. Or I’ll make you.” 

Alec saw red magic dancing in the Warlock’s free hand and Alec was sure that he knew a spell to make him open his mouth. The other Warlock yanked his head back even more and slapped him once again with the belt. The pain was nearly too much. Alec saw black spots dancing in front of his eyes and he was sure he was going to black out soon. 

Suddenly the door burst open and the grip to his hair was gone, making Alec fall on his face again. With a dull thud, he hit the floor face first and another pained yelp escaped him when his nose broke under the impact. He tried to roll to his side and stand up, but his hands were still bound at his back and the pain was too much to move. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” Jace’s voice cut through the air and Alec could tell that he was pissed. No, he wasn’t pissed. He was furious. Even beyond furious. Before one of the Warlocks could give him an answer, Alec heard the distinctive sound of a blade that was drawn from a holster and a second later, one warlock fell to the ground with a cut-open throat, the bloody belt still in his hand. 

Alec tried to look up, but he couldn’t even manage that anymore. More black spots were dancing in his vision and he heard his own blood rushing in his ears.

“We just had a little fun with…” the second Warlock stammered, his magic still on his fingertips, but not daring to use it against Jace. 

“No one is having fun with what is mine. Or Magnus’. And as he is both, you clearly see that you made a huge mistake. But don’t worry. It’s a mistake you won’t repeat.” Jace sounded deadly.

The danger was palpable and Alec forced himself to open his eyes and raise his head. He needed to see what was going on. Feverishly, he blinked his eyes open just in time to witness Jace raise his blade the same moment the Warlock raised his hands, and Alec wanted to scream Jace’s name to tell him to be careful; but he was cut off by the collar and only a gurgling sound escaped him. Before the Warlock was able to release his magic though, he was hit by a blue energy ball. The pained scream was cut short when Jace buried his blade to the hilt in the Warlock’s chest.

“What the fuck happened here? Why were they allowed in our rooms?” Jace barked at Magnus, who had rushed into the room, while he knelt down beside Alec, tenderly brushing his damp hair out of his face.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you know. We’ve got you.” Alec tried to hold his eyes open and focus on Jace. On his soft voice, on the soothing words. And foremost on the tender touches.

“I just told them that they should collect something for me. That’s why I allowed them access. I would never condone…” Magnus’ rage was so clearly audible that it was palpable, but the concern was even more prominent.

“I know. We need to heal him. Now.” Carefully Jace brushed away the blood on Alec’s face. His fingers found Alec’s nose and brushed over it, trying to feel where it was broken. “That’ll hurt a little,” he warned Alec tenderly, while his fingers pressed down to snap the bone back into place. A muffled scream escaped Alec, but Jace’s soothing words and his touch were worth the pain. “Let’s get him on the bed,” Jace announced before he scooped Alec up in his arms and carried him carefully, bridal style, to the bed. But Alec winced nevertheless. 

“Shh, it’s okay.” Jace shushed him, laying him tenderly down on his side. Magnus was instantly next to them and Alec felt his soothing magic wash over him, while Jace applied several Iratzes to speed up the healing process. 

Alec’s eyes fluttered shut, but he blinked them open when he felt the weight on the mattress shift. With a confused look, Alec saw Jace settle next to him, laying down so that they were face to face. With tender fingers Jace brushed over his face, murmuring soothing words Alec didn’t understand. But what he did understand - what finally settled in - was that neither Magnus nor Jace had wanted him to go through that. Neither of them had allowed the Warlocks to torture him. And they had died for doing so.

Alec closed his eyes again, marveling at the thought. His back still hurt and he still felt the humiliation burning deep. The sick feeling still lingered when he imagined what would have happened if Jace hadn’t showed up just in time. A bone deep tiredness settled in, enhanced by the warm feeling of Magnus’ magic, of Jace’s soft voice and of his fingertips on his face. All he wanted to do was close his eyes and allow himself to relax and sleep. 

But a part of him wanted to stay awake. Relish this moment of care that felt so much like being loved that he wanted to cry. He knew if he slept now he would wake up alone, curled beneath a too-thin blanket in his too-lonely cell. So he blinked his eyes open forcefully, so as not to miss any of this. To enjoy this while it lasted. 

“It’s okay, Alec. You can sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up. We both will be.” Jace looked down on him with a reassuring smile, sensing Alec’s inner fight. 

Alec blinked once again but then he allowed himself to slide his eyes shut. He knew Jace said the truth. Jace had never lied to him. He had never promised him forgiveness. He had never promised that it would be easy. He had never promised love. And so he knew that if he promised that now, Jace and Magnus would be there. He also knew Jace didn’t promise more. Still no forgiveness. No love. But at least he wouldn’t be alone. 

* * *

When Alec woke up, the light in the room was dim. By the way the late sun fell into the room Alec assumed it was early evening. He felt warm and rested like he hadn’t felt in a very long time. Not since the day Magnus had broken up with him. He closed his eyes again, not wanting the feeling to fade. Not just yet. He tried to lie very still. His body didn’t hurt anymore, there was not even a soreness left. He had seen a fading Iratze on his hand. Jace must have drawn another one. 

Jace was gone, but still Alec didn’t feel lost. Or alone. An arm was still wrapped around him protectively and Alec didn’t have to look back to know who it was. He didn’t need to feel the rings on the hand. He just knew that it was Magnus. He held him like he always had. Possessive and tight with barely room to breathe. 

The mattress shifted when someone sat down next to him. Jace. 

“Hey, I know you’re awake. How are you?” Jace brushed a strand out of Alec’s face, but he didn’t lie down again.

Alec blinked his eyes open obediently, waiting for the arms around him to retreat. Which they did. He bit down on his lip to stifle the whine at the loss. Carefully he moved his muscles, but the pain was truly gone. All wounds were healed, at least the outer ones.

“I’m fine,” Alec managed to say when his teeth finally left his bottom lip alone. 

Jace looked at him for a while, before he rubbed over his face, nodding. 

“Why didn’t you use your safeword? We would have been here in a second and prevented all that.” Magnus asked from behind him.

Alec adjusted his body so that he could look at Magnus. “I thought you wanted me to endure that. They were in your rooms. No one can enter your rooms without your permission so I figured it was what you wanted. They told me you gave them permission.” 

Jace sighed at his words. “How could you think that we wanted you to get hurt like that?” 

“I promised you anything. That’s anything.” It was the only answer he was capable of giving. It was true. He still would do anything.

“Listen, Alexander. Jace and I have been talking while you were asleep. This whole thing is about trust. If we are able to trust you again. But also if you trust us. Do you, Alexander?” Magnus looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

Alec nodded, while he was pushing himself into a sitting position. He rubbed over the Iratze Jace had placed on the back of his hand. 

“Yes,” he simply said. “I do.”

“Even if you thought that we wanted to hurt you.” Magnus’ voice was piercing and Alec blushed a little.

“Yes. I thought it’s a test. To see how far my anything goes.”

Magnus made an indistinctive noise in the back of his throat while he still watched Alec closely. “In the beginning you told me that you still love me. That you love Jace. Is this still true?”

Alec’s blush deepened, but again, he nodded. He avoided their eyes, while he stammered, “Yes. I love you. Both of you. And…” 

But Jace interrupted him, holding up one hand and Alec fell silent. “So you really trust us? And you are okay? It doesn’t hurt anymore?” 

Alec nodded at both questions, his eyes looking openly at both of them now.

“Well, then. Let’s see about that.” With that, Jace stood up to fetch something. A shirt and a black scarf, as Alec registered. 

Alec saw Magnus twirl his hands and the scarf lit up blue for a short moment. He swallowed, not sure what this was about. He pulled the shirt over his head when Jace shoved it towards him, his hands shaking ever so slightly. 

"Come here, Alexander,” Magnus commanded firmly but gently and Alec hurried to comply, scooting closer on the bed. With sure fingers, Jace slung the scarf around Alec’s eyes and secured it behind his head. The moment the last knot was tied, Alec’s world went dark. There was not a single ray of light coming through the smooth fabric. The scarf set snug against his head and when he turned it, the scarf didn’t slip the slightest. Magnus’ magic. Alec’s breathing picked up pace against his will. 

He felt Magnus’ fingertips against his temple and he turned his head towards Magnus. 

“You have your safeword and you will use it. Understood?”

Alec nodded at the request, his throat suddenly too dry to answer. There was more coming than the blindfold, he was sure of it.

“I will now put these earplugs in. You will hear nothing but me and Jace. And yourself. But no other people talking, no background noise. Just me and Jace.” With that, Magnus pushed one plug into Alec’s ear tenderly until his whole ear conch was sealed. Without giving Alec much time to process it, another ear plug was pushed inside him. His world went silent. Alec had never known how loud normal quietness was. Now, he heard nothing. Not a single sound made it through the magical plugs, just like no shred of light came through the blindfold. 

His breathing got ragged and he had to swallow down the panic inside him. The mattress shifted again, but Alec had no idea if both Magnus and Jace had stood up or just moved away. A cold shiver ran over his spine at the thought that maybe they would leave him alone. Alone in the darkness and silence. 

But then he felt soft lips brush against his ear and a soothing hand ran down his side. “It’s okay Alec. We are here. You just need to trust us. Can you do that for us?” Jace's voice was soft but filled with anticipation - and a hint of doubt. A hint Alec didn’t want to hear. He wanted Jace to trust him and to trust them.

“Yes. I trust you. I can do that,” Alec said hoarsely but steadily. 

“Good. Stand up now.” The words spoken against his ear made Alec shiver, goosebumps spreading all over his body. Deprived of his other senses, the hot air out of Jace’s mouth that tingled over his ear was enough to make him shudder. 

A ringed hand interlined with his own and he followed the pull, standing up and trying to calm his breathing. They would take care of him. He just needed to do what he claimed he did: trust them. 

Magnus didn’t let go of his hand and he felt another hand on the small of his back, guiding him somewhere. The door to their room opened and they stepped through - not that Alec saw or heard it, but he knew the layout of the room they had been in, so he was pretty sure that this was what they were doing. 

But once outside the room, Alec had no idea where they led him. But he just followed them without asking, trusting that they would not let him bump into something. But it was hard. All his Shadowhunter instincts screamed at him to try to tear off the blindfold or pull out the plugs. But he resisted the urge and just followed them.

Together with his outer senses, it seemed he also lost his feeling for time. He had no idea how long he wandered in the dark, led by Magnus and slightly pushed by Jace. But he tried not to fret about it. He had also given up trying to make sense out of the zigzag course they seemed to take. He just concentrated on Jace’s strong hand at his back and Magnus’ hand in his, on his thumb that from time to time brushed over the back of his hand. 

When they came to a halt, Alec tried to stand still. His skin prickled in anticipation, not knowing what was to come or what to expect. 

He felt Jace by his side and this was reassuring, though both men had let go of him. He had no idea how large the room was, if they were surrounded by people or alone. His heart picked up pace again and he felt his blood rush through his veins. Just a little too fast.

“Strip.” Magnus' voice was commanding. 

Alec felt himself blush. With shaking hands he complied and got rid of his shirt. He moved just a little to the side, just to brush slightly against Jace who indeed stood where Alec had thought he would. The small brush reassured Alec and he unbuckled his belt. He slipped out of his boots before pushing down his pants, stepping out of them.

“All of it.” Magnus’ voice came from in front of him. The commanding tone made Alec push his trunks down as well, though he knew his cheeks burned bright now. He felt exposed, not knowing who saw him. If other people were in the room with them. Not knowing what Jace and Magnus were doing. But the firm tone also made a warm feeling spread in his belly, the order a reminder of what had followed after complying to it when they had still been together. 

Jace’s hot breath that suddenly blew over his back made him shiver. Jace must have moved behind him. But he didn’t touch him. He just felt his hot breathing against his nape, his neck and his ear. He wanted to lean back to feel Jace, but he forced himself to stay still. He wanted to be good for them. 

When Magnus’ fingertips brushed against his cheek he nearly moaned at the sensation. It was just his tips, but they trailed down his jawline to come up to his lips and the feeling was overwhelming. When Magnus brushed over them, Alec’s breath caught in his throat. 

Suddenly Jace’s arms were around him, his nails dragging over his chest and Alec bit down hard on his lip to suppress the moan. 

“None of that,” Jace ordered, while his nails scratched a little deeper, leaving small red lines behind. “Let us hear you.” And then Jace bit down on his nape and Alec nearly screamed. The sound he made was a mix between a surprised yelp, a needy moan and a groan. Alec heard Magnus chuckle while his fingers slipped into Alec’s already opened mouth, silencing him successfully. 

Alec started to suck eagerly, his tongue swirling around the familiar fingers, trying to suck them deeper into his mouth. 

Jace was still plastered against his back, kissing and biting at his neck, his hands and nails devouring his chest. A little whine escaped Alec when Magnus pulled his fingers out, but he was silenced again. By Magnus’ soft lips and demanding tongue and Alec couldn’t help but moan. Instantly he opened his lips further, giving in to Magnus’ demanding tongue, letting him in and letting him take whatever he wanted. Just when he tasted salt on his lips he realized that he had started crying. 

He cried because he had never thought that he would be allowed to kiss Magnus ever again. He cried because Jace was kissing his neck. He cried because everything was a little too much. The silence except Magnus’ and Jace’s breathing and his own little moans, the darkness and the touches of several hands and too many hot lips. 

Jace must have felt that he was on edge, as he stopped moving his hands but just pulled him against his chest, pressing soft kisses against his nape. “You're so good for us. You can take it. Show us how much you trust us.” 

The praise calmed Alec instantly. He nodded as much as he was capable as Magnus was still kissing him. But as suddenly as Magnus had started to kiss him, as suddenly he broke the kiss. Before Alec could feel insecure, Magnus' hands came up to his shoulders, shortly stroking him before he increased the pressure. Alec gave in nearly instantly to it, dropping to his knees without any sign of hesitation. He looked up at Magnus, though he couldn’t see him. But he felt that he was just in front of him. 

“Hands behind your back,” Jace ordered, while knotting his fingers in Alec’s hair, making him tilt his head a little. The moment Alec complied, he felt Magnus’ magic snuggling around his wrists, binding them together. Jace used his fingernails to scratch over his scalp, altering it with small tugs that increased more and more so that Alec arched his back more to follow the pull.

“Doesn’t he look beautiful?” Jace sounded breathless and Alec’s cheeks burned at the praise, but also at the way they spoke about him. Not with him. But the feeling was totally different than when the Warlocks had done this. He didn’t feel threatened. He felt owned. 

Magnus hummed his agreement. “So beautiful. Our pretty little Shadowhunter. Lean forward.” 

The order surprised Alec. He shifted lightly, but then he complied. Jace had withdrawn his hand and Alec knew that if he would surpass a certain point, he would fall face down to the floor. Slowly he started to bend, his breath hitching again. He trusted them, but the fact that he had no idea how close they were made him uncomfortable. He leaned further forward and he knew the critical moment approached. 

Just before he fell, Jace’s hand was in his hair again, yanking him back. A surprised yelp escaped him and more tears started to fall at the sharp pain. Tender fingers brushed them away and Alec shivered. Jace’s hand curved around his face possessively and adjusted him slightly. His slender fingers were brushing over his Adam’s apple at the edge of his collar, making Alec shiver even more. 

“Open up.” Goosbumps spread over Alec’s skin at the desire in Magnus’ voice. He was quick to comply and opened his mouth, relaxing his throat at the same time. Knowing what was to come. Hoping for it to come. 

His eagerness was rewarded and Magnus pushed into his readily opened lips. Jace’s hands left Alec no choice but to hold still and let Magnus use him as he pleased. Magnus’ moan went straight to Alec’s own cock, reminding him that he was painfully hard. Though he had absolutely no means to do something about it, and the others were also not paying his erection any attention. But Alec didn’t mind. He enjoyed the feeling of Magnus’ cock in his mouth, the way he pushed in a little deeper with every thrust, taking his breath away - literally and figuratively. 

He enjoyed Jace’s hands around his face that held him still together with Jace’s erratic breathing, showing him how turned on Jace was. Alec just marveled in the feeling of being owned. Of having everything he thought he had lost forever - of having what he thought he could never have in the first place. 

Magnus picked up pace and his hips snapped forward faster, making Alec nearly choke on his dick. But Alec fought his gag reflex to take more, to take everything. Jace pushed him forward a little and the rough fabric of Magnus’ pants rubbed against Alec’s chin. The knowledge that Magnus hadn’t bothered to get naked turned Alec on even more, making him moan around Magnus’ cock. The moan he got in response from Magnus at the vibrating sensation made Alec relax even further. More tears were spilling out of his eyes at the stretch of his jaw, some caught by the blindfold, some pouring through, when he was held on Magnus’ cock longer with each thrust. He felt Magnus cock sliding down his throat and he relished that feeling. He just wanted to kneel there, being guided and held by Jace and being fucked by Magnus.

“He feels so good. So good for us,” Magnus praised letting his index finger roam over Alec’s face appreciatively. The gentle touch alone made Alec shiver even more and when Magnus pushed his finger alongside his cock into his mouth Alec trambled, only held upright by Jace’s hands around his face and his presence at his back. The feeling was overwhelming. His lips were stretched impossibly wide around Magnus’ cock and his finger, that pushed in and out of him in the same punishing rhythm as Magnus’ dick. But he couldn’t get enough of that feeling - of being full and completely at their mercy. 

“Do you want to come in his throat or do you want his ass?” Jace’s voice betrayed his own desire and want, sounding nearly wrecked. He could feel Jace’s hard cock press against his shoulder blades, making him moan helplessly around the cock in his mouth. 

“You can have his ass. I already had it. Besides, he is your present,” Magnus teased fondly. Alec knew his blush had just turned a shade darker at being reminded how he had come in this position. And again, they talked about him as if his own wishes didn’t matter at all. But he couldn’t help his own cock getting harder at the reminder. 

“Make sure to swallow everything,” Jace warned Alec, when Magnus groaned one last time and pushed forcefully deep into Alec, making his throat flutter at the intrusion. But Alec made sure to keep his throat relaxed and to breathe through his nose - and to swallow everything. When he heard the distinctive sound of kissing above him and Jace carded gently through his hair while hot spurts of come ran down his throat, Alec didn’t know if he had ever felt so turned on and safe at the same time. 

It felt like an eternity but finally Jace and Magnus stopped kissing and Magnus pulled out of Alec’s mouth. Alec’s throat felt sore and used, but just in the right way. He hoped to still feel it tomorrow. To keep that feeling forever. 

A demanding tug to his hair and his collar pulled Alec out of his bliss. He complied and stood up on shaky legs. He looked at Magnus, the unspoken question of what he was supposed to do next written all over his face. A small push made him stumble forward, towards the bed. He didn't care any longer if they were alone or not. He was with Magnus and Jace, and that was all that counted. 

“Hands and knees,” Jace ordered, before Alec heard them kiss again. He crawled on the bed, raising his hips slightly to put his ass better on display. He wanted to be good for them. Appreciative hands ran over his side, making the goosebumps return. Magnus’ rings scratched over his skin and Alec tried to push into the touch, to get more of the feeling of rough metal and hot skin. A sharp slap to his ass made him go still, the skin burning like fire. He was sure a red handprint tainted his ass. 

“Don’t move,” Jace warned, but one hand rubbed directly over the sore spot and Alec couldn’t help but think that he liked the sting. He liked the sting and Jace’s rubbing as much as he liked the rough feeling of Magnus’ rings. But he tried to stay still and just take what he was given. “That’s it. So good for me. For us.”

Alec moaned at the praise. The moan turned into a soft whine when Magnus’ hand found one of his nipples and started to pinch it. The whine turned into a yelp when Jace parted his cheeks. Jace blew teasingly on his hole, his muscles clenching in response - and in anticipation. Jace rubbed small circles over his entrance, spreading cold lube over it, before he eased the tip of his finger in. Just to remove it a second later, chuckling at Alec’s frustrated groan. Jace teased him a little while longer, slipping his tip in and out, tugging at the sensitive rim but never pushing fully in - just to go back to rubbing circles. Finally he started to work a finger inside Alec’s tight hole, pushing in to the second knuckle in one go. The sudden stretch burned but Alec pushed back immediately. The feeling of Jace inside him was too good and overwhelming not to push back. Another slap reminded him that he wasn't supposed to move, adding another sting to the one in his ass. 

“You’re so eager, Alec. So needy. I love that. But I told you to keep still.” Jace chuckled lightly, while he worked another finger in, pushing in and out of Alec with an increasing speed. 

_Love._ Even though Alec knew that Jace hadn’t said that he loved him, probably never would, to hear him say this word in combination with his name made Alec feel even warmer than before. And more determined to be what they wanted him to be. He stilled his movements completely, giving his body fully over to Magnus’ teasing hands that scratched marks on his back and made his nipples turn red and to Jace’s exploring fingers, that pushed into him deeper and more forceful with every thrust. He could feel Jace explore his inner walls and his muscles clench around him, trying to suck him in deeper. 

“That’s it. So good for us both.” Magnus said approvingly, while his lips claimed Alec’s and swallowed the low growl Alec couldn’t help but make at the words. 

Jace chuckled again and bit into his ass, right into the already stinging flesh. Alec yelped at the pain, but Magnus just kept kissing him, silencing the little whine at the loss when Jace removed his fingers.

The feeling of the blunt head of Jace’s cock on his entrance made Alec draw in a breath. When Jace pushed in forcefully, he let the breath slip out in a drawn out moan, not able to help himself. It burned again, but the moment Jace started to move the burn was forgotten and replaced just by want and need. He needed Jace deeper inside him, he needed Jace to go faster. He just needed more. He needed Magnus’ hands on his body, his lips on his mouth. He needed to feel owned and safe and wanted. 

Jace groaned while he pushed in until his balls settled snugly against Alec’s ass. He paused shortly, just circling his hips to reach every spot in Alec while buried to the hilt in him. And then he started to move for real. He pulled out just to slam in again, angling his thrusts so that he hit Alec’s prostate. The scream that escaped Alec earned him a playful slap and another forceful thrust, that just hit his sensitive spot again.

Soon Alec got lost in the sensation of Jace pulling in and out at a punishing pace. The slaps of naked skin against naked skin filled the room together with their moans and groans. Alec didn’t know if he never wanted it to end or if he wanted it to end now. It was nearly too much. The pleasure that jolted through his body every time Jace hit his prostate, the slight pain when Magnus twirled his nipples, the strong grip around his wrist that grounded him. Magnus’ lips against his own that tore at him, nipped, sucked and kissed. But he gave in to the feeling, letting the others take what they wanted, not asking for release or for them to stop or move slower. He was just lost in them. 

“I’m close,” Jace panted, though Alec barely understood the meaning of the words. “Do you wanna come?” Also these words had somehow lost meaning. Of course he wanted, but only if the others wanted that too. He just wanted to be good for them.

“Hm, don’t care,” Alec slurred, not able to form a proper sentence. 

“Mm, he’s so good. I think he deserves a reward.” Magnus hummed and a second later Alec felt Magnus’ hand at his slit, gathering his precome to use it as lube before Magnus closed his hand around his dick. Alec whimpered at the sensation of Jace pounding into his ass and Magnus pumping his cock. He came with a hoarse cry when Magnus added his nails and Jace slammed especially forcefully into him. It took Jace only two more thrusts to come as well, collapsing on top of Alec, who had trouble holding them both upright. 

But Magnus nudged him tenderly until Alec understood and lowered himself down, so that both he and Jace came to lay down on the bed. His heart beat fast, but not in panic. He felt peaceful. He felt taken care of. Jace’s weight on top of him was reassuring and so was Magnus’ presence at his side. All he wanted to do was lie there and forget the world. Gentle fingers brushed over his body, caressing him, before Jace slid off him, took his face in his hands and turned him to his side. 

“Remove the blindfold and the plugs please, Magnus. I want to see him when I kiss him for the first time.” Alec shivered. He had dreamed of kissing Jace for so long. True, he had also dreamed of getting fucked by Jace, but this only later when he had been older. But being kissed by Jace was such an old dream, Alec couldn’t even remember when he had dreamed it for the first time. 

With a snap the tear-wet blindfold and the plugs were gone and the sudden rush of sensation was nearly overwhelming. Though they were alone in the room, the background noises from outside the room rang loud in his ears and the dim light was blinding. It seemed Jace understood, as he gave Alec a moment to adjust. He brushed over his lips with his thumb, before he smiled softly at Alec. 

The moment it took Jace to close the little gap felt like eternity. When finally their lips met, it was like heaven. Jace’s tongue was demanding and Alec was quick to open his lips and accept the intrusion, kissing Jace back with everything he had. Jace’s lips were rougher than Magnus’ and not less pushy. Jace kissed with all he had, with his tongue and teeth, his hands holding Alec in place. Alec melted into the kiss. It was better than he had ever imagined, especially because Magnus had settled on his other side, stroking his back and sucking soft bruises into his skin. 

When they broke free Alec couldn’t help but shake. Suddenly he felt lost again, though Magnus was still lying behind him and Jace had his hands on his face.

“Shh, it’s okay, darling. We’ve got you.” Alec shook harder. _Darling._ Magnus hadn’t called him that in so long. A small flame of hope settled in his belly at the words, but he didn’t quite dare to believe them. He looked up into Jace’s mismatched eyes with a questioning gleam, too afraid to voice the question out loud.

“It’s okay, Alec. Magnus is right. We’ve got you. Magnus and I talked. When we found you earlier like this, we both couldn’t deny any longer that we both still have feelings for you.”

If the situation was different, Alec might have smiled. _Feelings._ Briefly he wondered if Jace had ever told Magnus that he loved him. He could see that he did, but he also knew Jace. Voicing love was definitely not his strong suit. But as the situation was as it was, Alec didn’t smile. He just looked at Jace with wide eyes, his mind not really understanding what he was hearing. _Feelings._ For him?

But what his mind was too slow to understand, his heart and body did. When Jace kissed him again, more tender this time but not less passionate, and when Magnus sucked another hickey on his throat, just next to his collar, he felt the love both had for him. He let himself completely fall while Jace and Magnus never stopped kissing or caressing him. Cleaning him gently in the process. 

When Alec fell asleep that night, tucked in the middle and covered with a blanket, he didn’t think he had ever been happier. 


	6. Chapter 6

Alec woke to fingertips that were brushing tenderly over his face, and to lips that caressed his nape. He didn’t dare to open his eyes, too afraid the hands or the mouth would be gone, replaced by a cold and harsh reality. So he just kept them shut and enjoyed the feeling of lying in the middle of two warm bodies. He felt Jace smile even before Jace’s lips met his, and when Jace nipped tenderly at his bottom lip, biting down lightly, he couldn’t pretend to sleep any longer. He opened his lips and smiled himself when Jace wasted no time but pushed his tongue in instantly, moaning lowly in the back of his throat.

“Good morning, my angels.” Magnus sounded as sleepy as Alec felt.

“Hey,” Jace whispered against Alec’s lips, his hand roaming over Alec’s body until they found Magnus’ hand that was resting on his hip, caressing the back of it with his thumb. “Open your eyes.”

Somewhat reluctantly, Alec opened his eyes. He still feared that this was all a dream and that as soon as his eyes were open, all would vanish and he’d be alone again. But he couldn’t resist the demanding tone so he obeyed. He was rewarded with a crooked smile and an amused glint in Jace’s eyes, which smiled as much as his lips. 

“So it’s real?” Alec whispered, when Jace’s hand came up to cup his cheek, making Alec nuzzle into it. 

“Very much.” Magnus bit lightly on Alec’s nape, earning him a little gasp. “Though I could have done with a little more sleep.” Magnus had never been a morning person, and even being the leader of a rebellion couldn’t change that. Though he had to admit, having his two favorite Shadowhunters in bed with him eased the annoyance of an early morning. 

Jace and Magnus’ eyes locked for a brief moment, before both leaned in, kissing the other good morning as they had done the days before, though this time there was another one to include. 

Alec smiled genuinely at their display of affection. This was all raw and new, but it felt just right. It felt like the last missing piece of a jigsaw clicking in place, a piece he had been looking for though he hadn’t been aware of it. To share his love with both of them was a miracle, especially after all that had happened. And was still to happen. Though the night before and this morning was nothing but peaceful, Alec was very well aware that they were in the middle of a war. Though the war had not yet started openly, it was already there. 

Alec allowed himself to truly look at Jace, while he leaned back into Magnus’ chest. Jace looked the same and yet a little different. There were new scars on his body that hadn’t been there before. Scars that shouldn’t be there, because Alec should have been there to prevent them. But the most startling one was the scar on the left side of Jace’s neck. It was not a battle scar. It was a scar from a Promise rune. A broken Promise rune.

Alec’s hand came up to map the scar out, wondering what promise Jace had made but not kept. Promise runes were not drawn lightly, as the pain that followed a failure was excruciating. Everyone knew that. 

“I made a promise to Magnus. To follow his lead during the rebellion.” It was as if Jace had read his mind. A little like it had been when their bond had still been intact and had allowed them to communicate silently, at least to a certain extent. 

“And you didn’t keep it?” Alec was baffled. Baffled that Jace had gone against Magnus, as from what he had witnessed, Jace fully accepted Magnus’ leadership. But also that it didn’t seem an issue between the two of them. Shouldn’t Magnus be furious or disappointed at least?

“No, I didn’t. I thought saving his ass during a reckless mission was more important than a little pain and an unkept promise.” Jace glared pointedly at Magnus, who smiled apologetically back, pressing a little kiss to the corner of Jace’s mouth. 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, sweetheart.” Magnus’ hand came up, stroking the scar in the same loving way Alec just had. 

Jace just shrugged, shrugging the pain away like he had done so many times in his life. Physical pain was something to be endured. Jace had long stopped dwelling on it. 

“I didn’t know,” Alec whispered, his heart aching a little at the pain Jace must have gone through, but also for Magnus. Watching the ones you loved suffer on your behalf was worse than enduring the pain yourself, as Alec knew too well.

“Well, how could you, Alec? You had already cut our bond.” Jace jerked back a little, making space where before there had been none. Alec looked like Jace had slapped him. He hadn’t missed the accusing tone, making him bite down on his lip forcefully, trying to keep himself grounded. Though he was still lying in Magnus’ arms, he was starting to get lost again.

“I’m so sorry, Jace. They forced me. I…” Alec forced himself to breathe and think. He had apologized before, said the same things before. But it still felt hollow and empty, and apparently Jace felt the same. He still didn’t fully believe him and Alec had no idea how to change that. “I am so sorry. I should go. I didn’t mean to, they forced me, they threatened Izzy. And I figured they would do it to you anyway, so I thought I could at least save Izzy. Jace-” 

But Alec was interrupted. Suddenly Jace was back and very close. Jace hooked a finger through the ring of the collar and pulled Alec the last missing inch closer, until their lips met and Jace started to kiss him softly. 

“ _I_ am sorry, Alec. I know they forced you. I know what they did. It just still hurts so much. I sometimes still feel so empty. But you didn’t have a choice.” 

Alec swallowed. “We both know that it is not entirely true. I had a choice. But back then, it just didn’t feel like that. I was so caught up in their game, I didn’t realize I had other options.” 

“I know, Alec. I know you didn’t see other options. Just as I didn’t see the different possibilities I had when I followed Valentine to his ship. We all could have done things differently. And it’s okay. You’re here. We’re together. And somehow, I will learn to live with not feeling you inside of me. We both will.” 

Alec opened his lips and relaxed when Jace started to kiss him for real, realizing just then that he had started to shake. 

“Let’s make them pay.” Magnus’ dark voice came from behind them. Jace drew away from Alec, but still held him close by his collar, his thumb stroking Alec’s throat absentmindedly. 

“Yes. Let’s make them pay. Dearly.” The coldness in Magnus’ voice was reflected in the fire that was dancing in Jace’s eyes, a fire burning ice cold. 

“So, what is the plan?” Alec asked. He had learned a lot about the rebellion in the last days, but not everything. He tensed a little, waiting to see if the other two really trusted him enough to reveal all their secrets to him. But without hesitation, Magnus started to explain. 

“We will raise an angel. And not any angel. We will raise Lucifer himself. The fallen angel that guards hell. The Light-Bringer.” Magnus’ cat eyes shone bright and intense. “He will bring light to the Shadowhunters while we burn Idris down to establish a new rule.” 

Magnus and Jace’s heat was contagious, and Alec started to feel his own blood boil in anticipation. “And who could better raise him than a Morgenstern?” Alec smiled at Jace who just winked at him. 

“Exactly.” Jace’s grin deepened when he saw Alec’s excitement.

“But for real, how do you wanna do that? I suppose you have the Mortal Sword?” When he felt Magnus nod against his back, he carried on. “But what about the Mortal Cup? And the Mortal Mirror?” 

The Mortal Cup was still secured in a vault in the New York Institute, and despite their efforts, the New York Shadowhunters, together with the Clave, hadn’t a clue where the Mortal Mirror was hidden. 

“Well.” Jace smiled down at him, rubbing absentmindedly over his face before his hand found Alec’s Parabatai rune. It came to a rest on top of it, finding comfort in the familiar spot although the bond was not there anymore. Alec drew in a shaky breath at the intimacy and he nearly missed the next part. “We thought you could help us get the cup. You know where it is hidden, don’t you?” 

Alec nodded. “If Maryse hasn’t relocated it since then, yes, I know it. It’s in a secret spot down in the cellar that even me and Izzy didn’t know about before. I can draw you a map and tell you how to deactivate the glamours and the Unlocking rune.”

“Or you can just come with us.” Magnus pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

Alec craned his neck, looking startled. “Or I could do that. But do you really want me on a mission with you?”

“Of course, Alec. We trust you. And sure, it will take time for the others to do so too. The angel knows it took them long enough to trust me. But they will. You belong to us and they have to accept that. And you’re my Parabatai, bond or not. I will always want you with me in a fight.” Jace looked at him with a firm expression in his eyes. “Unless you don’t want to? It could get bloody.” 

Alec just huffed. “I don’t mind bloody.”

“Good.” Jace nodded his approval at Alec’s lack of hesitation. “After researching everything the Downworld and I know about the Instruments, we believe that Magnus’ blood, together with the angelic instruments, will be enough to raise Lucifer. He is _the_ fallen angel, and Magnus’ father was also a fallen Angel. We found a way to adjust the words used for Raziel. It should be enough to raise him. And then hopefully Lucifer will grant us a wish.”

“You want him to destroy the wards around Idris.” Alec chewed thoughtfully on his inner cheek, taking in their plan. If they managed to really get Lucifer to grant them that, the Downworld would be nearly unstoppable. There were two reasons the Downworld had never succeeded to successfully revolt against the Shadowhunters. 

One, they had never been united, too caught up in fighting each other. A problem that Magnus had solved. The other reason was the Demon Towers in Alicante, the capital of Idris; the home country of the Shadowhunters and place of business for the Inquisitor, the Council, and all important Clave members. The Demon Towers protected the city against demons but also against everyone with demon blood. No Downworlder could enter the city. If they could bring Lucifer to destroy the sparkling towers, the way to enter the city would be free. Raziel had given them the towers, Lucifer should be powerful enough to tear them down. And hopefully Lucifer’s grudge against his former brother was big enough to help them. 

A small smile played around Jace’s lips, while he watched Alec think. “You have always been a good strategist, Alec. Exactly. With the towers gone we will flood the city, kill those who fight and spare those who surrender. And then establish a new reign. Under Magnus’ lead.” 

“But what about the Mortal Mirror? No one knows where it is.” Alec turned on the bed so that he was now able to watch both Jace and Magnus, only to find Magnus smirking at him.

“Just because you Shadowhunters have no idea where it is doesn’t mean we don’t either. We have known for ages. Or better to say, the Seelies have. Their magic is connected to nature, they know and hear a lot more than we others do. And the King was so gracious to share his knowledge.” 

“Oh come on, don’t tantalize me! Spill it already!” Alec glared at them, but both just smirked at him. “Please?”

“That sounds better. It’s Lake Lyn.” 

“The lake in Brocelind forest?” Alec stared at them, not really sure if they wanted to tease him or not. But when he saw them nodding, everything clicked into place. He knew the tales of the venomed water in that lake. It made sense that there was something more behind it. Every story was true, in the end. And of course the Seelies with their connection to nature would know about it - and the Shadowhunters, who thought of themselves as above nature, wouldn’t. 

“Yes, exactly this lake. We will gather our troops around Alicante and Magnus and I - and you - will raise Lucifer. As soon as the towers are down, we will attack. Magnus will make a portal so that we can join immediately.” Jace smiled while he watched Alec intently. “And you are really fine with all this?” 

“Yes, I am.” Alec was quick to assure them. “ I think it is time for a new era. I have seen what the people who currently rule are capable of. You are the better leader, Magnus. But what about Valentine? The Circle is not yet completely defeated. And history has told us that he is dangerous. Even years after everyone thought him dead and gone.” 

Alec felt both men tense beside him, unspoken words going back and forth, before Jace started to speak. But this time, Jace didn’t focus on him but on Magnus. “I will kill him.” 

“Jace,” Magnus warned, “We spoke about that”

“No, Magnus. _You_ spoke about that. I just had to listen. I have to kill him. And I will. I am his son.”

“And that is exactly why you _won’t_ kill him. You _shouldn’t_ kill him. He is your father and no child should kill his own parents. No matter how evil they might be. Believe me, I know what I am talking about. And he was not even my real father.” Magnus’ voice was firm and he glared daggers at Jace. When he had been a little boy, his step father had threatened to drown him. Magnus had killed him to protect himself, without meaning to do so. His magic had still been new to him. He had not been fully in control. And yet, he remembered the screams of his step father all too well, even after hundreds of years. He didn’t want that for Jace.

“But I am not you, Magnus.” Jace glared back, also not wavering. 

“Oh, aren't you, Jace? You are way more like me than you might think. Besides, you promised me something.” With that, he grabbed Jace by his hair and yanked his head back so that Jace had to tilt his head. For a short moment, Magnus just held Jace like that, before he leaned in and kissed Jace bruisingly. The kiss was all teeth and tongue, more biting than actual kissing, leaving Jace breathless and his lips red and swollen. 

“You promised me something.” Magnus repeated barely audibly, before he kissed Jace again. Soft and sweet this time. Both knew that Magnus meant more than just the promise to follow Magnus’ lead. Jace had promised so much more during the last weeks and days. Maybe not with words, but in the ways it mattered. With his heart. He had promised Magnus to be careful. Not to be reckless. To come back. To stay alive. To stay whole. When Magnus released Jace from the kiss, Jace just huffed, licking over his lips where a second ago Magnus’ had been. 

“So, this is settled?” Magnus’ gaze was still fixed on Jace, an eyebrow raised questiongly. 

Jace rolled his eyes, but he nodded. “You know I keep my promises. The ones that count, anyway.” 

Magnus’ stern face turned into a smile. “I know,” he whispered before leaning in, meeting Jace halfway to kiss him for the third time. 

“But I hate it,” Jace added quietly and with a slight huff, but nevertheless leaning into Magnus’ hand that carded through his hair.

“I know, angel. I know. And you don’t have to like it. You just have to do it. Or rather not do it.” 

* * *

Alec watched the two of them with huge eyes. The deep connection they shared still baffled him. Not long ago, he could have sworn they didn’t even like each other that much. He didn’t watch with ache or longing, he watched mesmerized. Glad that they had each other, and so thoroughly. And even though they were not focused on him anymore, he didn’t feel left out. He was glad that Magnus wanted to protect Jace from himself. Thinking of Maryse, Alec knew Magnus was right. It wouldn’t be good or right to kill her, even though he loathed her and he didn’t want to have anything to do with her. But she was his mother, even after everything she had done. 

Without him even realizing it, he had started to play with the collar. He had loved the way Jace had hooked a finger through the ring to pull him close, the possessive gesture soothing his need to belong to Jace and Magnus. Now in all the right ways, ways he had wanted for so long and never thought possible to have. 

“Want it gone, darling?” Magnus' voice pulled Alec out of his daydreaming, making him look up startled. But before he could answer, Jace chimed in.

“I doubt he wants it gone, Magnus. And _I_ don’t want it gone. You look so pretty like this. And so _ours_.” Jace’s finger caressed the edge of the collar, while pressing a kiss to Alec’s temple.

Alec blushed, but nodded. “Jace is right. I want to keep it.” He gasped lightly when a twirl of magic hit the collar.

“I just removed the spell so that you can talk freely now with whoever you want. And you are both right, so of course we will keep it.” 

* * *

  
  


Alec stood a little behind Jace, listening and watching. He had always listened closely but, until now, he had never been allowed to stand. He had knelt all the time, and he had not been allowed to speak. His hand went up to his collar, that felt different now with Magnus’ magic gone, though Alec was sure that this was only because the meaning of it had changed. It was still a sign to whom he belonged, but it was now also a sign of their love. He wanted to belong to them, and they wanted him. It was a choice. 

Jace still wore the key around his neck, playing in the same way with it that he had when Alec wore the original collar. He still couldn’t take the collar off by himself, only Jace or Magnus could do that. But he also saw no reason why he would want to. 

“Look, the pet is allowed to stand. What a shame, I liked when he knelt.”

The whisper of a werewolf tore Alec from his thoughts, his eyes darting up, not sure of what to make of it. Not sure if he was allowed to respond to this belittling or if he should just let it slide. But before he could make a move, Jace was already by the side of the wolf, towering over him. 

Jace was not armed. He hadn’t drawn a dagger or a blade. He hadn’t even bothered to activate his runes. He just stood there very camly with broad shoulders and a wide stance, and even though he was smaller than the werewolf, it seemed that he had to look up at Jace. 

“Watch what you say, Peter.” Jace's voice was as calm as it could get and barely above a whisper. Peter swallowed visibly, not sure what to do, flexing his muscles nervously. Unfazed, Jace took another step forward, crowding the wolf’s space until their faces were nearly touching. “I say this once nicely, but only once. The next time, I will let my blade speak for me. Understood?” 

The wolf wanted to take a step back, the physical closeness making him uncomfortable, whereas Jace seemed perfectly at ease with the whole situation. Before Peter could retreat, Jace grabbed his wrist and held him forcefully in place, his eyes shining golden briefly. 

“Alec will be treated with respect. He is part of the rebellion and has massive experience with leadership and tactics. But above all, he is mine. And Magnus’. And whenever you think you can mess with him, you mess with the both of us. And you don’t wanna mess with us, don you, Peter?”

“I-” Peter stammered, trying to find the right words, or words at all. He swallowed again, trying once more to take a step back, again held in place by Jace’s iron grip. “Of course not. Ha-happy to have him here.” 

“See, wasn’t so hard, was it?” Jace increased the pressure to Peter’s wrist one last time, leaving fingernail-shaped marks behind, before he let go of him. “And you may spread the word. My patience is very thin. I won’t be so patient with the next person. And I will hold you responsible if it happens”

Peter paled visibly at the threat, but nodded feverishly, though Jace didn’t see that anymore. He had already turned and was strolling over to Alec, who had watched with mixed feelings. He was amused at Jace’s powerplay, a little annoyed because he could have handled it himself, but mostly he just felt warm and grateful at Jace’s protectiveness. Alec smiled when Jace pressed a kiss to his lips and slung an arm around his waist in a very protective and possessive way. 

“Thank you, I could have handled him." But there was no heat in Alec’s voice; on the contrary, he was leaning into Jace’s arm, still smiling.

“I know. But they learn faster this way. That you’re ours. Mine.” He pressed another kiss to Alec’s lips, nipping lightly at his bottom lip. When the door to the huge hall swung open, all playfulness was gone and Jace snapped back into leader mode. Another smile washed over Alec’s face at that, but then he pulled himself together. He understood that the others might see him as weak or useless, as all of them had seen him kneeling. But he was determined to show his value, to the rebellion and in general. 

King Meliorn, with his delegation of knights, was the last one to arrive, as usual. They all gathered around the huge table, where a detailed map of Alicante and its surroundings was laid out, together with a nautical chart of the ocean where Valentine’s ship was supposed to be.

When all were settled down, Magnus just had to raise his hand for them to fall silent. 

“Bat, Alaric. How did your mission go?” Magnus asked the two men who stood like Alec in the back. The two Werewolves stepped a little closer.

Alaric cleared his throat, masking his nervousness. “Good. Bat and me faked a fight in front of the cell of Raj’s girlfriend, Tamara, arguing about the best approach to fight Valentine, giving her detailed information about the whereabouts of the Morningstar in the process. And how to track it despite the water. If she can count until three, she should have all the necessary information about how to not only find Valentine, but also how to best fight him. We can let her _escape_ now.” 

A small huff from the Vampires made them all turn around. “Shadowhunters are not really known for being smart,” Lily said with an apologetic smile towards Jace. “Present company excepted.” 

“I know Tamara. She is not dumb. I am sure she has picked it up.” Alec stepped a little closer, feeling all eyes on him. Surprised eyes. It was probably the first time most of them heard him speak at all. But he didn’t let himself get intimidated by that. This was like all strategic meetings with the Clave, and in the ops center at the Institute. He could handle that. “But you should wait at least two or three days before you let her flee. Otherwise she might grow suspicious. As I said, she is not dumb.”

Magnus thought about that briefly, but then nodded his agreement. “Two days it is. Have you managed to chip her?” 

This time it was Bat who answered. “Yes. We slipped Dot’s potion in her food and when she was deep at sleep we chipped her, so that we will know of her whereabouts.” 

A few months back, the Clave had tried to chip the Downworld but, after seeing the uproar, had refrained from pursuing it further. But some had already been chipped, among them Maia. And she hadn’t thrown the device away, she’d kept it. After a little reprogramming, the chip now worked in their favour.

“We will watch her movements and of course the movements of the whole Clave. If they won’t attack Valentine, we will. But I want them to fight each other. There is no need to waste the life of any of you, or our people in general, when we can have them do the dirty work. We will send a small glamoured delegation after them to the Morningstar when they attack, to verify Valentine is really dead this time. But we will stay out of the fight so as to not get detected. We will only interfere if necessary. Luke, do you have your people selected?” Magnus nodded approvingly when Luke gave him the names of some wolves, but also Seelies and even Vampires. A Warlock was also among them, providing the portal. 

“Good,” Magnus continued, rubbing his hands. “Meanwhile, when the Clave is busy attacking Valentine and his remaining Circle members, we will attack the New York Institute. Alec knows where the last missing Mortal Instrument is hidden. Jace. The command is yours. Select your people.” 

Jace had silently watched, his arms crossed with a deep scowl on his face that didn’t waver at Magnus’ words, but intensified. He knew that, despite his leadership abilities and his knowledge of the Institute, Magnus had foremost assigned him to this mission to keep him away from the Morningstar. Away from his father. Away from the revenge he craved so much. He gritted his teeth. There was not much he could do, though. He would never go openly against Magnus. He had hoped to talk Luke into letting him tag along or just sneak through the portal, but with him being stuck at the Institute and the damn cup, this option was gone. But if he was honest with himself, he probably wouldn’t have done it anyway. Though the Promise rune was gone, he still felt bound to it, now more than ever with all the _feelings_ involved. But this didn’t make him hate it any less. 

“Bat, Alaric, Lily, Dolly, you are with me. King Meliorn, can I ask for your knight Samuel?” When Meliorn inclined his head, Jace carried on. “And of course you, Alec. We will meet when this is over to discuss the strategy. Alec will show us the exact spot where the cup is hidden. Ragnor, are you able to bring down the wards that day?” Jace turned to the Warlock standing next to him, who just nodded grumpily.

“Of course I can. Magnus will give me the details of the ward structure, and they are thinned anyway as their renewal date was due some time ago.” 

Jace still looked as grumpy as Ragnor sounded and his arms were still crossed. He glared at Magnus, but Magnus just smiled at Jace. “Very well. Now this is settled, I will explain what we will do as soon as we have the second instrument, and Valentine is dead. Shadowhunters might not be known for their parties, but I am sure that after they have defeated the rest of the Circle, the Clave will be feeling at least a little victorious, which means they will be more vulnerable to attacks. Our local friends in the cities where an Institute is located are already informed. They have their people ready and only await our command. As soon as we storm Alicante, they will breach the Institutes. I have assigned Warlocks to all of them to deal with the wards. Raphael, the Mexicans ask for an experienced leader to handle the attack.”

The Vampire nodded curtly, acknowledging and confirming the unspoken question. 

“Ragnor will be with you. You can also pick some of your own people,” Magnus continued. A small smile tugged on Raphael’s lip when he heard that his friend, Ragnor, was to accompany him. It was a smile that was gone as quickly as it had come, but it was the first time Alec thought he had seen him smile at all. 

“I will raise the fallen angel Lucifer at Lake Lyn. Meanwhile, you will all take your positions around Alicante…” 

Magnus continued, giving detailed information about who was supposed to be where, who led, and who followed. Marking the spots on the map so that everyone knew what was going to happen, and when. 

The meeting stretched on for hours but the atmosphere was not worn-out. It was humming with excitement and concentration. All knew they had this one strike to finally change the fate of the Shadow World. All were determined to play their part to make it really happen. 

* * *

“Jace.” 

Jace’s eyes snapped open when he heard Magnus’ voice. He was already geared up, and so was his little team. In the corner of his eye he saw Alec talk to Samuel, adjusting his thigh holster with skillful ease. A shimmering portal was already waiting for them.

Jace looked at Magnus but didn’t say anything. He still felt kind of betrayed. Alec and the others could very well handle the New York Institute without him, he knew that. Most of the Shadowhunters had left anyway, including Tamara, to fight against Valentine and the remaining Circle. To destroy them for good. And this was the fight Jace should be fighting. He should be there to watch his father die by his own hands. To make up for years of pain. Years of lies and betrayal. Years of playing him. But he was stuck here retrieving a damn cup. 

“Jace.”

Magnus stood now in front of him. This time, he would stay back to observe. He would monitor both parties closely, to see if anything went sideways and if anyone demanded more help. He was fairly certain that his plan would work out, but he would not jeopardize the main goal by being too confident. 

Jace still hadn’t said anything. He was just glaring at Magnus, unnecessarily rearranging his weapons. He had one sword strapped to his back, another on his hip and several daggers strapped to his holsters and belt. He was ready. 

“I know you probably hate me right now, but believe me-“ Magnus’ voice was soft, making Jace look away. 

“I don’t hate you.” Jace interrupted him gumpily, “But I hate your decision.” Jace looked back at Magnus, their eyes locking. Magnus sighed, partly relieved, partly frustrated because he had hoped Jace would see reason. His reason. 

“I need you for this mission, Jace. You will retrieve the cup and foremost you’ll come back safely to me. And you’ll make sure that our angel is safe as well. And yes, I need you as much away from the other mission as I need you there.” Magnus had stepped closer, his hand cupping Jace’s chin, firm but gentle.

“But-”Jace didn’t get to finish the sentence. Magnus pressed his lips to his, claiming him in a bruising kiss. 

“No _but_ , Jace. You’ll get the cup and then you and Alec will return safely. Understood?” Magnus’ harsh tone was contradicted by his thumb, which ran tenderly over the scar on Jace’s neck, stroking him gently. 

“Yes, sir.” Jace still glared, but his eyes had softened, the heat was gone. It was more to make a point now.

“Mm, I like the sound of that. You should keep that for other occasions.” Magnus winked at him, increasing his grip on Jace’s chin a little. 

“Fuck you, Magnus. And don’t you dare comment on this now.” 

Magnus just laughed, pressing another kiss to Jace’s lips, before he released him and strolled over to Alec to kiss him goodbye as well. He nodded to Ragnor, knowing too well that his old friend would probably kill him if he openly showed him too much affection. 

“Let’s go. Everyone knows what to do?” Jace looked at his team grimly, taking in their nods of approval. “Let’s do this.” With that, he stepped through the portal first, the others on his heels.

* * *

It went nearly too easily. Ragnor had no problem bringing the wards down. As Jace and Alec were still Shadowhunters, they could enter the Institute anyway – and with Ragnor’s help, the others had no issues either. 

The Shadowhunters that had been left behind to guard the Institute were no match for them. They were mostly young and inexperienced, some not even of age. Jace had given the order to attack, but not to kill. These weren’t the people he wanted revenge on. 

The fight was over before it really began, Jace’s group working like the well-trained team they were by now. The Shadowhunters were bound and locked up securely without any losses to the rebellion.

“Lily, Dolly, go to the Armory and get weapons. We need to make them believe that this is what we came for. Alaric, you guard the captives. The rest will stay with me. Alec, lead the way.” 

Alec didn’t waste any time but led them into the cellars beneath the old church, past the empty holding cells, until they reached a door that was nearly invisible to the eye. “Here.” Alec drew his stele and touched a hidden spot in the wall and the door swung open, making way to a small chamber. The chamber was seemingly empty, but Alec knew where to look. There was one stone on the floor with small sigils and runes. 

“ _Aperit,_ ” Alec murmured, while drawing a complicated rune Jace hadn’t seen before to open the small vault in the floor. They all held their breath, but when the stone slid away with a shrieking noise, they all released it in relief. In a small depression lay the Mortal Cup.

Jace nodded to Samuel. “You take it. If we encounter trouble of some kind on our way out, which I don’t assume we will, they will think Alec or I have the most precious things. So it is safest with one of you. Alec, you got the replacement?” 

Alec nodded, already pulling a fake Mortal Cup out of his pocket and placing it into the vault. Magnus had glamoured an ordinary cup, which didn’t look exactly like the original, but came close. They hoped that if the Clave checked for it, it would be close enough to fool them. It was better to let the Clave believe they weren’t going after the Mortal Instruments. 

“Well then, let’s go.” Jace nodded at the others while Alec slid the stone back into place.

Lily and Dolly were already waiting for them, a huge assembly of weapons at their feet. 

“We have collected everything of value. Time to get out of here,” Lily announced, gesturing to the ground. 

“Yes. Time to go.” Jace replied, while helping the others collect the items.

* * *

  
  


When Jace and Alec entered Magnus’ office in their headquarters, Luke was just about to leave. When passing Jace, Luke quickly squeezed his shoulder. “All went as planned, Jace. He is dead. I saw it happen.” Luke squeezed him again before he left, closing the door behind him. 

Without saying anything, Jace placed the Mortal Cup, which Samuel had handed him when they had arrived back safely, in front of Magnus. 

Alec tried to sling an arm around him, but Jace shook him off. He had tensed at Luke’s words, his skin itching and he had to master all his willpower not to hug himself. 

“It’s done, Jace. He is dead.” Magnus stood up and rounded the table, bridging the gap between them. 

“How can you be sure, Magnus? How? He faked his own death before. Twice!” Instead of hugging himself, Jace crossed his arms over his chest.

“That’s why. Luke brought proof.” Magnus snapped his fingers and out of thin air something dropped on the floor between Jace and Magnus. Alec gasped in surprise when he saw what it was. A head. But not any head. Valentine’s head. 

Jace nudged at it with his foot, an unreadable expression in his eyes. It was Valentine, this was for sure. No glamour stuck to a dead body, or parts of it. Jace swallowed. It felt different than he had thought. Hoped. It felt more like mourning than celebrating and Jace hated it. Hated that he felt a pang of sorrow next to relief. A pang of sadness next to satisfaction. Without saying a word, he turned on his heels and left. 

“Don’t,” Alec said, stepping up to Magnus who was about to shut the door to hinder Jace from leaving. “Give him a moment. And then I’ll talk to him. He just needs a little time now.” 

“He’s angry with me,” Magnus stated, but gave in to Alec’s plea, lowering his hand and retrieving the magic that had already bristled at his fingertips. 

“He is not really angry with you, just angry at the world. And foremost at himself.”

“So you think it was right to keep him away?” Magnus searched Alec’s face for an answer, relieved to find confirmation when Alec nodded serenely. 

“Yes. And he will see it, too. Just give me a little time and then you can join us. Please.” Alec looked at Magnus.

“He’s on the balcony.” Both said it at the same time, both smiling a little at that. At the Institute, the rooftop had been Jace’s favorite spot. Here, it was the huge balcony. 

* * *

When Alec stepped out, he found Jace leaning against the balustrade, watching the darkening sky. 

“Go away, Alec.” Jace said without turning around. “And that’s an order.” 

“I’m not letting you order me around. Not here. You can do that on the battlefield or in the bedroom, but not here.” Alec said firmly, stepping up to Jace. “I know you don’t really want to be alone right now. It’s just what you think you deserve.”

Jace just huffed. “Fine. I’m going.” But Jace didn’t leave completely, but went over to a small bench in the farthest corner of the balcony. 

Alec sighed, but didn’t give in so quickly. He followed Jace, but instead of sitting next to him, he dropped to his knees beside Jace and placed his head in his lap. He said nothing. He just waited, sighing in relief when Jace finally started to stroke his hair. Alec felt the tension sweep out of Jace’s body – and his own tension as well. The stroking and kneeling soothing them both. 

“It’s okay to mourn, Jace. He was evil but he was your father. He did you wrong, and still you have memories where he was nice. I get that, believe me. If I had found Maryse among the dead today, it would have been the same. She is my mother, though I wish she weren’t. But she is. And so was he.” 

Jace didn’t reply, but Alec felt him relax even more. Jace started to let his hand trail down further, playing with the ring on Alec’s collar now. Alec craned his head a little, looking up at Jace. “I love you, Jace.” 

“And I love you too, angel.” Magnus had approached them silently, and though Jace didn’t say anything, he moved to make room for Magnus, so that he could slip behind him, letting Magnus pull him into an embrace. 

“Thank you, Magnus,” Jace whispered after a while before he let his head rest on Magnus’ chest and he resumed stroking Alec’s hair.

* * *

Magnus nodded at Jace with a grim expression on his face. Now was the moment of truth. If the weeks they had spent researching the Mortal Instruments, his own heritage, and all tales spun around the fallen angel Lucifer had been wasted or not. Magnus was confident that even without Lucifer they would be able to breach the wards of Alicante in the end. But the price would be high and paid in blood. And Magnus preferred this rebellion as unbloody as it could get. The Downworld had suffered enough. 

“You’re sure, Magnus?” Jace asked, a small golden dagger already in hand. He took Magnus’ hand in his, brushing a soothing circle in Magnus’ palm with his thumb. 

“Yes.” Magnus didn’t flinch or hiss when the dagger cut into his flesh, making blood spill immediately. He turned his hand to hold the open wound over the Mortal Cup, watching how it filled slowly. 

“That should be enough,” Jace stated, eyeing nervously the amount of blood Magnus had already lost. 

“I’m ready when you are.” Alec stood by the shore next to a ring of runes. Only one was missing, the one he would draw as soon as Magnus stepped into the ring with the Mortal Sword and the Mortal Cup in hand. 

“Be careful, Magnus.” Jace looked piercingly at him while he watched Magnus close the wound with his own magic. 

“When have I ever not been careful?” Magnus gave back with a wink, but with a seriousness that reassured both Jace and Alec. 

“Oh, I could give you some examples. But I don’t think we have time for that,” Jace gave back, rubbing absentmindedly at the scar the Promise rune had left behind. 

Magnus collected the Mortal Sword, carefully avoiding the blade and touching it only at the hilt as he took the blood-filled cup in his other hand. Without further ado, he stepped into the ring and nodded at Alec, who complied and drew the last missing rune. 

As soon as the rune was completed, the ring of runes lit up with bluish flames, skyrocketing so that Magnus was nearly not visible anymore. The force of the inflamed runes made Alec fly back, a gasp of surprise escaping him. Jace was next to him in a second, pulling him up.

“Lucifer, Bringer Of Light. Hear me. I call upon the Mortal Instruments and summon you into this mortal realm.” Magnus' clear voice rang over the quiet lake. He held the two Mortal Instruments high in the air, fixing his eyes on the lake before throwing the Mortal Sword into it. The surface of the lake started to hiss and boil, but nothing more happened.

“I call upon the blood of another fallen angel and the Children of Hell. I call upon my own blood.” With that Magnus threw the filled Mortal Cup into the lake as well. As soon as Magnus’ blood connected with the water, the whole lake turned a crimson red, the hissing increased, waves crashing onto the shore. 

The ring of fire around Magnus flared up once more, changing the colour from blue to a bright red until, all of a sudden, they died down. It was as if all light had gone out around Lake Lyn, until the lake itself started to glow. From deep inside it, a figure rose, glowing reddish and with an intensity that nearly blinded the three men standing on the beach. 

Lucifer was of a frightening beauty. Too luminous to be mortal. Too evil to be angelic. But what was really frightening were his wings - or the lack of them. They were cut off, only bloody stubs were left. The stubs the visible sign that Lucifer had fallen out of grace and was not considered an angel any longer. 

“I have never been summoned to this place. Why do you summon me now, Warlock?” 

“The creatures your brother, Raziel, created are ruling my people. Your people. My father is a Prince of Hell, where you are King. It is time for the rule of the angels to end and for a new rule to be established. The rule of your blood.” Magnus’ voice was steady. He asked, but he didn’t plead. 

“What is it you ask of me?” Lucifer hovered unfazed over the lake, the bloody stubs flapping to a steady beat. 

“I ask of you to destroy the Demon Towers your brother Raziel created. So that we, your kind, can take over the reins of this world.” 

“And why should I do that? You gave me blood I already have. My blood was once angelic and turned demonic, just like yours. I am not bound to these Instruments you offer. I was curious to see who dared summon me.” Just when all three thought that Lucifer would vanish as quickly as he had come, Lucifer’s interest shifted. Instead of watching Magnus, he stared at Jace. 

“Oh, but what do I sense here?” He was sniffing the air like a search dog. “What do we have here? Angel blood. Pure angel blood. And freely given it could be...” Lucifer's gaze intensified and Jace had to mobilize all his strength to still look at him and not avert his eyes.

“You want my blood? I can offer you my blood. My blood against the destruction of the Demon Towers.” Jace stepped tentatively forward, feeling Alec's hand tense around his upper arm before he let go of him. Jace didn’t need their bond to know that Alec didn’t approve of this deal. It sounded too much like a human sacrifice. 

“Yes, Nephilim, I want your blood.” 

With a clunk, the Mortal Cup landed in front of Jace’s feet. Without hesitation, Jace pulled the same dagger out with which he had cut Magnus.

“Let me.” Alec had stepped up and took the dagger, pushing Jace’s sleeve back. With the same tender care Jace had shown Magnus before, Alec cut Jace. The blood gushed out of the wound in a steady stream, filling the cup quickly. Before they offered the cup to the angel, Alec drew swiftly an Iratze next to the wound, watching satisfied by how the edges closed immediately. 

Jace held the Mortal Cup high in the air. “I freely offer you, Lucifer, the Light-Bringer, my blood.” As soon as the words had left Jace's lips, the cup flew through the air, summoned by Lucifer. With a greedy smile, he put it to his lips and emptied the content in one go, swallowing hungrily. The more he drank, the more he transformed. The originally bloody stubs grew, until they enfolded into beautiful huge, blood red wings. The red water of the lake shot up, swallowing Lucifer, but just before he vanished he snapped his hands and red sparks flew through the air, vanishing in the direction of Alicante. 

“Do you think he held his part of the bargain?” Jace asked curiously, rubbing over his wrist. 

“One way to find out.” Magnus stepped out of the ring of runes. The fire had burned down, only some pockets of embers were left and gleamed reddish. Magnus conjured a portal to Alicante and when they stepped through it, the city lay in an unusually dim light. The sparkling of the Demon Towers was gone. The Downworld was able to enter the capital.

* * *

The Downworld had surrounded Alicante, just waiting for Magnus’ signal. When red sparks appeared in the dark sky and slammed into the Demon Towers, a murmur went through the crowd that increased to a cheering when the Towers collapsed into themselves, and with them the usual sparkling. It was like a wave went through Alicante when the wards around it lost their angelic-fueled power.

Seconds later Magnus, Jace and Alec stepped through a portal, taking in the scenery. A victorious smile played around Magnus’ lips. By Magnus’ command, Luke contacted their allies in the major cities to take over the Institutes. Magnus’ smile deepend when he sent blue sparks high into the sky over the once Silver City, and his troops around him started to howl and cheer. And then they started to attack.

Magic was filling the air, crashing into the nearly useless walls around the city. The walls were tumbling down easily under the magical impact, giving way to the Downworlders who started to flood the streets and buildings.

Magnus, Jace and Alec led their team directly into the heart of the city. Towards the Account Halls, where all the important Clave meetings took place and, more importantly, where they knew they would find the leaders of the Clave: Inquisitor Herondale and Consul Penhallow.

A sirene was filling the air with a shrieking sound, but the howls of the wolves, the yells of the Vampires and the screams of the Seelies were more prominent. Most Warlocks stayed at the outskirts of Alicante, closing it off against Shadowhunters that might want to come to its aid, raising wards of their own to claim the Shadowhunter territory as fully theirs.

Magnus’ magic was pouring effortlessly out of his hands, blasting away who and whatever dared to get in his ways. Jace and Alec flanked him, Alec with his bow and Jace with a golden glowing Seraph blade. Alec shot their way free, Jace took care of the ones escaping his and Magnus’ reach. Magnus had given the order to kill whoever fought them and take into custody whoever yielded.

The Shadowhunters were taken completely by surprise. None of them had seen an invasion coming, all relying on the Demon Towers to prevent any demon-blooded creature to enter their capital. When the Demon Towers had fallen into themselves, there had been panic and confusion, Inquisitor Herondale not quick enough to realize what was going on. When the first Downworlders entered the city and the Shadowhunters went for their weapons, it was already too late.

The attack was coordinated, the rebellion attacking in a star-shaped pattern with one goal: the City Hall. The defense was chaotic and unorganized, most Shadowhunters being soldiers used to following orders; left without them, they went headless against the well-organized attack.

At first, most Shadowhunters fought, but soon there were more and more that yielded at the neverending stream of Downworlders entering the city, laying their weapons to the ground, begging for mercy they themselves had seldomly granted. But the Downworld felt bound to Magnus’ orders and instead of killing the unarmed enemy, they took them hostage instead.

The others, who still wanted to fight, withdrew quickly into the more secure walls of the City Hall. But walls could be as thick as they wanted. They couldn’t hold a Prince of Hell out. Magnus blasted a hole through the back wall while Luke entered through the front door with his team of Seelies, Wolves and Vampires.

The Clave Shadowhunters had gathered in a circle, the armed Inquisitor and Consul in their midst. With a satisfied smile, Alec saw Aldertree among them. Alec discarded his bow and drew a blade, feeling Jace’s smile next to him. “He’s yours,” he heard him whisper, knowing that Jace had spotted Aldertree as well.

Magnus stepped forward so that all eyes were on him when he started to spaek. “I give you one chance to yield and we can end the bloodshed right here. You don’t stand a chance. The Institutes are under attack and the city is already ours. You can fight and die, or you can yield.” Magnus stood tall and proud, his voice calm and steady but the threat not concealed.

“We will never bow to your kind. Never.” Imogen Herondale had found her voice, and she nearly managed to keep it from trembling. But she definitely managed to put all the hate in it she held for the Downworld.

“Oh, Imogen, you will. In one way or another. And most of you have already bowed. Not many of your _oh so brave_ Shadowhunters are still fighting. Most have laid down their weapons and begged us to spare their precious lives. So what will it be, Imogen? This time it is truly your life at stake and not only the life of your underlings. Will you yield or will you lead your people into death? I don’t mind either way.”

“You’re making a mistake, Bane. You need us Shadowhunters. You need us to fight the demons.'' Imogen glared back at Magnus, the ring of Shadowhunters closing around her to give her more protection, as if the small group could withstand the power of their opponents.

Magnus just smirked at her. “This is where you are wrong. Our united Downworld doesn’t need Shadowhunters to deal with demons, we are very well capable of doing this on our own. I have all the Shadowhunters I need by my side.” Magnus’ smirk deepened while Jace and Alec broadened their shoulders, wielding their blades lazily.“We don’t need your kind, Imogen. But if you choose wisely, we will let you live. Under our rule, but live.”

But Imogen just snorted. Too proud to see that Magnus was right, too blinded by the belief in the supremacy of Nephilim to realize that their reign had come to an end, no matter what she chose now.

Magnus shook his head silently, but not really caring either way. “Just remember, it’s you who chose this. Remember, all of you, that your leader decided to lead you into this.”

With that he let his magic fly, an energy ball hitting right amongst the circle of Clave members, while his allies attacked like the well-oiled machine they were. Alec grabbed his blade harder while he surged forward, his eyes fixed on Aldertree. Jace fought next to him, and though they were missing their bond to verify it, Alec knew Jace’s heart was beating in the same frantic beat as his own. Jace stayed true to his word and let Alec handle Aldertree, charging for the Consul instead, while Magnus was battling Imogen. The battle was over quickly after that; Imogen falling to the ground, fatally wounded by one of Magnus’ energy balls.

Aldertree countered Alec’s first blows skillfully, but Alec’s attempts were relentless and not less skillful. He moved swiftly, his feet dancing on the floor, sashaying to the side to get a better angle, his blade an extension of his arm and thoughts. 

“Yield,” he pressed through his teeth, half relieved when he saw Aldertree shake his head. It was the last thing Aldertree did. 

Alec ducked under his next blow and then brought his blade up, stabbing Aldertree through his chest, piercing his lung. With a gurgling sound Aldertree doubled over, blood running out of his mouth, his eyes assuming a glassy look. His chest heaved one last time before it stopped, all life drained out of him.

“Enough.” The Consul’s voice rang through the room. Jace had disarmed her and she was on her knees, Jace’s blade hovering above her. “We will yield. Weapons down.” Most Shadowhunters looked relieved when they followed her order. Most glad to live, even though it was under another command now.

The rebels were quick to bind their enemies and bring them to the prison cells, where others were already held captive.

Magnus stepped out of the City Hall, smiling when he saw his army take over the capital of the Shadowhunters completely, which he would make the capital of the Downworld. And if the Shadowhunters behaved, he would find a place for them in his Shadow World. But only if.

His smile deepened when news from the Institutes arrived. All were taken and under their command. Some, like in Mexico, had been nearly without blood loss, as Raphael had reported. The Rozales family, who had run the Institute, had seen reason quickly and given it over without losing their lives. Other takeovers had been bloody. Like the New York one. Magnus sighed inwardly, his eyes finding Alec while he heard the news. New York had fallen, but Maryse had made sure to take all stationed Shadowhunters with her. She, as well as her husband Robert, were also among the dead. When their eyes met, and Magnus nodded, Alec briefly closed his eyes. Briefly accepting the pain of having lost his parents. But just briefly. They had never been the parents he or his siblings had deserved. He had other things to focus on. Rebuilding the Shadow World under Magnus’ command. 

Alec smiled when Jace stepped up to him, who had seen the silent exchange between his two lovers. 

“You okay, Alec?” 

Alec leaned into Jace's hand that came up to brush over his cheek. For a short moment, both took their time to offer comfort and to seek it. Both sighing when Magnus joined, pressing quick kisses to lips.

“You did it,” Jace whispered softly, drawing his attention back from Alec and focusing on Alicante, where the rebels, who were not rebels anymore for they had won, searched the city to gather remaining Shadowhunters. They all would get their chance to accept Magnus and the Downworld’s reign and pledge their allegiances. Or die refusing to do so. 

Smoke was lingering in the blood-heavy air, small nests of blaze were still burning. Magic was sparkling here and there. The once Silver City shone reddish against the dark night sky. 

“Yes. It’s done. But this is only the beginning. We will build a new Shadow World from the ashes of the old.” Magnus’ cat eyes flared up while thinking of endings and new beginnings, pulling his two lovers close. 

  
  


* * *

The way Izzy’s heels clung on the floor when she stepped through the portal Magnus had provided told Alec enough to know that she was angry. Probably even furious. So not to his surprise she ignored his outstretched arms but stormed directly towards Magnus. 

“What the hell have you been thinking? How dare you kidnap me - us - and keep us away while the Shadow World is at war?” Izzy didn’t care that Magnus was now the ruler of the Shadow World. She glared openly at him, poking him in his chest. 

Magnus caught her wrist with a half-amused smile. He hadn’t expected a different reaction from Izzy. “We needed you two to be safe, Isabelle. Max is way too young to fight in a war and we needed someone he trusts at his side.”

Alec heard Izzy’s huff in return, but he also heard that she wasn’t as angry anymore. Her reply, however, he missed, as Max stepped through the portal now and he didn’t ignore his outstretched arms.

He buried his nose in Max’s unruly hair, pulling him close. “Max! I’m glad you’re here. I missed you, buddy.”

“Alec!” Max gave back with joy, allowing Alec to hug him as he had when he had been younger, before Max had thought himself too old for those hugs. “And Jace,” he beamed before he threw himself in Jace’s arms. Max and Jace had always shared a special bond, rooted in little Max’s offer to share his room with Jace when he had come to live with the Lightwoods. 

Izzy turned at the sound of Jace’s name and glared at him now. “You.” She was still angry that she had not been given a choice as to whether or not she had wanted to fight in this war. She had known what she had chosen. Which side. She still couldn’t quite believe what Maryse had done to Alec. What she had been prepared to do to her. But she also understood Magnus and Jace better after Magnus had explained their reasoning. That they had needed them, especially Max, safe. 

She couldn’t help the small smile when she saw her two brothers react in sync to her voice in the same way they had done before everything had gone to hell. She took a minute to take in the state of Jace, Magnus, and foremost Alec. They all looked tired. But beneath the tiredness lay a calm. A certainty. A happiness she thought she would never see on Alec’s face again. Or on Jace’s, for that matter.

“So, you two figured it out?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. It hadn’t been what she had wanted to say, but everything else was a matter for later. She needed to know that they had worked through everything and were truly happy again.

“Well, actually, we three did.” Jace’s face lit up for a second when he smiled at his two lovers before he grew serious again.

Izzy’s smile widened seeing that. “Well, I see. I’m glad for all of you, but this doesn’t mean that we won't have a talk about how inappropriate kidnapping is, even for the sake of keeping me safe.” 

Jace grinned at her. “I’m sure we will. And I am glad to receive my shovel talk from you then as well.” 

Izzy grinned now as well before she let Jace pull her into an embrace. “Don’t worry about that. I had time to work on the perfect talk.”

Alec joined their embrace, hugging both of them tightly as they had done so often, starting the first time they had gone together on a solo mission. He was beyond grateful to still have the two of them. There was a lot they needed to talk about, but the important thing was that they were together now, all three back on the same side. _Three in, three out_ had always been their motto. Though they had to change that now. _Five in, five out_ would be their new one. 

  
  


* * *

Jace stared at the crouched figure in front of him. It was clear from the way the man knelt that he was not entirely here of his own accord. The Silent Brothers, as well as the Iron Sisters, had been rather reluctant to accept the new world order. But Magnus had left them little choice. His Downworld didn’t need healers or prison guards, they had their own people for that. The Downworld also didn’t need armorers to forge angelic blades they couldn’t use anyway. Only Shadowhunters did. And if the two fraternities decided to stop doing what they had done for centuries, Magnus and his Downworld wouldn't mind so much, but they would doom the race of the Nephilim to fall completely into insignificance. An aspect the Silent Brothers and Iron Sisters had seen in the end, not to mention the little persuasion from Magnus that had helped.

“Happy belated birthday. I got you another gift, angel.” Magnus smirked at Jace, a smile crinkling in his eyes.

“At some point in time, you have to stop kidnapping people and giving them to me. What do I want with a Silent Brother, Magnus?” Jace huffed out a laugh, completely at a loss as to why Magnus had brought him the man. A quick glance towards Alec conveyed that he was as clueless as himself.

“Oh, Brother Enoch is not kidnapped. He is here willingly, isn’t that right, Brother?” Magnus cocked an eyebrow and the Silent Brother was quick to nod, though his whole body language spoke otherwise. But Jace couldn’t bring himself to care. “And this time it is not about the person, but what he can do.” Magnus grinned now openly, snapping his fingers and producing a device Jace knew just too well. It was a de-runing device.

“And this time, it is not only for you. It’s for both of you. I know you still miss your bond. And Brother Enoch here assured me that he can reverse the effect of the rune that is blocking your bond.”

The Silent Brother nodded again, quick to answer the unspoken question.

Jace and Alec remained silent, both too overwhelmed to speak. Only the quickening of their breaths indicated that they had heard what Magnus had said. Magnus smiled at that. Even without their bond, the two were so much in sync with their actions, it often astonished him.

It was Alec who regained his speech first. “Are…are you serious? Can you...can he...really?” His hand flew to their rune, that was still covered with the red Blocking rune, the action mirrored by Jace, whose eyes had become impossibly wide.

“Tell them.” Magnus sounded deadly and Brother Enoch hurried to comply. All heard his voice ringing in their heads.

“Yes. I think I can remove the rune that blocks your bond. And as the rune has only blocked it and not broken your souls apart, the bond should be intact once the rune is removed. But this is wrong. Your bond will be corrupt-“

Suddenly the Silent Brother was gasping for air. A collar of blue magic had settled around his throat, effectively cutting off his airways. “If I want advice on that matter, I’ll let you know. But as I don’t, you will just do what I say. Understood?” Magnus’ voice was as deadly as his flaring cat eyes. When Brother Enoch managed a nod, he released him.

“I don’t believe that the Parabatai Curse even exists. I think the Clave lied about it as they lied about many things, just to have another means of control over their soldiers. But I promise you two, if I sense that you are starting to change into something like a true Nephilim, I will make sure to cut your bond again. We now have the rune for it. But of course, it is your choice if you want to risk it or not.”

Without having to think, Jace and Alec already both nodded in sync, their hands reaching out to each other.

“And I will make sure that Brother Enoch here will be _very_ careful with removing the rune. We don’t want your brothers to suffer for your inadequacies, do we?”

The Silent Brother just shook his head, not daring to say more.

“Remove mine. I was the one to draw it, it should be mine that gets removed.” Alec stepped a little forward, but did not let go of Jace’s hand.

Before Jace could protest, the brother cut in, his voice again in all their heads. “Yes. I have to remove the initial rune. With it, the other vanishes as well.”

A shudder ran over Alec’s spine at the prospect of having Jace back in his own soul. Of having their bond back. Of truly having _them_ back. Suddenly, he felt Jace’s finger hook into the ring of his collar, pulling him in for a bruising kiss. Their eyes met when Jace released him, both smiling. They didn’t need to ask if the other was sure. Of course they were.

Alec rested his upper body against Jace’s chest while he pushed his shirt up to expose his abdomen and the two entwined runes. Magnus stood next to them, watching carefully how the Silent Brother raised the de-runing device and started his work.

At first it was just a small sting, when the first inch of the red Blocking rune vanished, but the pain intensified the more the rune was removed. Alec started to tremble, but not at the pain; at the force that came with removing the rune. The wall that the rune had created around Jace’s soul, to isolate the two, was crumbling down brick by brick. Alec felt the force with which their two souls tried to unite again, pulling and pushing, prodding and nudging, to make the wall fall down faster, to be together sooner. And it hurt. It hurt nearly as much as it had when the wall had come up. But this was a pain he was happy to endure. He felt Jace’s arms around him shake as well, rattled by the same power of their souls’ need to be together again.

Finally, the Silent Brother reached the end of the rune and with another motion, the rune was gone, leaving only the ink black Parabatai mark on their skin. The last bricks imploded and Alec heard a gasp, not knowing if it was his, or Jace's, or theirs, when their souls slammed into each other again, claiming the spots that were rightfully theirs. 

The emotions and images that flooded Alec’s brain and heart were nearly too much, a sound between a howl and scream escaped him and he felt himself stumble to the floor. But he didn’t fall. He was caught by a wave of magic that guided him and Jace gently down, covering them like a soothing blanket, helping to take the spike of the overwhelming feelings and the still lingering pain.

Alec didn’t recall when he had started to cry, but when he came back to his senses, and his lips found Jace’s, he realized that he had. Tasting the salt of their joint tears on his tongue. Nothing had ever tasted sweeter, Magnus’ magic still holding them together and safe. And not only his magic. Magnus had settled down beside them on the floor and pulled them both close, stroking their backs while the pair of Parabatai came to terms with being just that again. Parabatai.

The Silent Brother was gone and they were alone, having all the time they needed to adjust to a familiar, but yet so new situation. Jace’s heart beat in the same comforting rhythm as his own again, Alec could feel it again – and even sharper than before, the bond enhanced by the love they finally allowed themselves to feel and share. 

Alec’s feelings had altered anyway, as there was Magnus now and the three of them were together, just as they belonged. Alec didn’t really realize or care whom he kissed. He just felt hands on his face and on his body, lips that kissed him and which he kissed him back as feverishly as his own were met. The three just said there, taking the time they all needed, trusting that for these moments, Magnus’ underlings were capable of running the new Shadow World on their own. 


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to Jessa, who betaed this whole story - you are amazing! 💙💙💙

_15 years later_

Magnus smiled when he heard the door to his apartment in New York open and his two lovers stroll in, safely back from the mission they had been on. For a few years they had lived in Alicante, but Magnus had missed the big city life too much, so they had relocated again. Alicante remained the capital of the Shadow World, but with portals ready at his fingertips there was no need for him to live there permanently. Besides, he trusted the people who ran the Shadow World Cabinet, which was an assembly of elected representatives of every race under his command. Two years back he had even given the Shadowunters a seat in the cabinet. 

It had taken time and some force, but in the end the Shadow World, including Nephilim, had bent to his reign. A reign he was not prepared to give up soon or at all. As he was immortal, there was also not really a need for that. 

With his wings back, Lucifer had remodelled Edom and Hell, establishing a new reign, just as Magnus had done with the Shadow World. But as the once fallen angel felt a strange loyality towards his blood donor, he left Earth alone. Therefore Magnus saw no need to intervene in any way, not caring who controlled whom, as long as he was not affected by it. 

“You two should shower,” Magnus told his Shadowhunters with a cocked eyebrow, taking in their debauched state. Jace was covered in blood and ichor, his gear torn, tempting naked skin shining through. His hair looked muddy and small drops of blood were splashed over his face, and for some reason Jace never looked better than just after the height of a hunt. Probably because his eyes never shone brighter than then - except when they were curled into each other, lost in a different kind of hunt.

Alec didn't look much better than Jace, though somehow he always managed to stay just a little cleaner. A little less wrecked. Something Magnus was definitely planning to change. But they definitely had to shower first. 

Jace just winked at him, rubbing over his face, smearing the blood all over it even more. “Wanna join?"

Magnus wrinkled his nose. “Later maybe. When you are clean.” 

“Your loss,” Jace gave back, a seductive smile playing around his lips, and the way he grabbed Alec commandingly made it clear that he had so much more in mind than just getting himself clean in the shower. 

Alec followed him pliantly and willingly, happy with the roles they had in the bedroom - or in the shower for that matter. That he was taking what was given and gave what was ordered. 

Jace pushed Alec into the huge shower that could easily accommodate all three of them with a pleased groan. Alec yelped a little when his back collided with the cold tiles, the chill mixing with the heat from the water above - and Jace's hot mouth that was all over him in seconds, chasing the height they had experienced before, during the hunt, finding it again easily in each other. 

Jace was biting and kissing him, his teeth pulling at his ear lobe until Alec moaned, Jace's nails dug into his skin while rubbing him clean, the familiar scent of the sandalwood shower gel filling the air and mixing with the scent of sex and blood. Jace groaned impatiently while he spread the gel all over himself, his hips grinding against Alec who was trapped between the tiles and Jace, looking for friction, finding it against Alec's own hard erection.

When finally the water turned clean, Jace's groans intensified and suddenly Alec found their positions reversed. Jace leaned against the wall and looked at Alec expectantly. It took only the softest of pushes against Alec’s shoulder for Jace to get him to drop to his knees, knowing too well what Jace wanted, being too eager to give him just that. 

He shuffled closer and looked up at Jace from under thick lashes, holding his tongue out, moaning when Jace fed him his hard cock. The humming sent shivers down Jace's spine and he threw his head back, resting it against the cold tiles, enjoying the feeling of pushing into Alec's plush lips.

Alec loved the way his lips stretched around Jace's thick cock, the slight burn in his jaw, the way it felt to swallow him down; the feeling of Jace's cock slipping into his throat, making him nearly gag. But only nearly, as he relaxed further into the sensation and with his mind relaxing also his throat relaxed further, being able to take Jace in just a little deeper. He bobbed his head swirling his tongue, savouring the taste that was so uniquely Jace. But what made him truly get lost was the sudden feeling of hands on his head that tugged on his hair, of nails scratching his skin, guiding him to an ever increasing speed, pushing him further into Jace's crotch, holding him each time a little longer until tears mixed with the hot water from above. Those were Magnus' hands. 

Magnus had watched his angels for a while, just enjoying the show before he had stepped into the shower with them, taking over control of the blow job Alec was giving and Jace was receiving. He loved how pliant Alec went under his touch, how Jace's moans intensified just by seeing him. He saw Alec's hard cock straining against his belly, red and angry and neglected and he smirked. Alec would come untouched or not at all, but both Jace and he knew just how to push Alec so that he fell without being touched. 

Jace groaned at the feeling of Alec's throat constricting around him, fluttering each time he thrust in deeper. He didn't need to move much, Magnus was doing this for him, but he couldn't stop his hips from grinding nevertheless, the feeling of Alec's hot mouth around him too good to keep still. His breathing increased and a high-pitched sound escaped his mouth when Alec went as deep as he could, his nose nestling firmly in his pubic hair and Magnus just held him there until Alec's throat started to flutter for real and he started to shake. Just then Magnus let him back for a small reprieve, just to push him back onto Jace's cock a second later. 

The sensation of just how deep he was in Alec’s throat, the sight of Alec kneeling with Magnus’ hands in his hair was too much. Jace moaned helplessly when he came, opening his side of the bond wide, as he knew Alec would be pushed over the edge just from Jace’s orgasm, the knowledge and power this gave him nearly leading to Jace's second orgasm. 

Jace smiled when he heard Alec's moan, knowing that Alec had just come hard, knowing from the distinctive sound that emanated from deep in the back of Alec’s throat, but also feeling it in their bond. For a few moments longer Magnus held Alec in place, giving Jace time to enjoy the last waves of his orgasm, buried to the hilt in his Parabatai’s mouth, before he let Alec up.

“Turn around.” Magnus' voice was dark with lust and want and Alec hurried to comply, not standing up but just turning on his knees. He looked up at Magnus who watched him with a dizzy look in his eyes laced with desire. “Open up.” 

Alec's throat felt sore but he happily complied, but realized that Magnus didn't mean to face fuck him. Magnus just looked down on him, his hand stroking his own dick in an increasing speed, mesmerized by the way Alec looked up trustingly with parted lips. There was just something so hot in the way Alec kneeled for him, for them, that it never took Magnus long to just get off at the sight. 

Magnus moaned softly when he came all over Alec's face, painting him in white streaks. Alec never broke eye contact while his tongue darted out, licking over his slightly swollen lips to gather all of Magnus' cum he could reach. Magnus shivered at the intensitiy of his ograsm, glad for Jace's hand that reached up to his shoulder, holding him. Magnus gently ran a finger over Alec's face, collecting his own cum, moaning again when Alec parted his lips even more to suck his finger in, circling his tongue to gather all of Magnus that he could get. 

Jace entangled his hand in Alec's hair, pulling him up. “I thought I cleaned you better,” Jace smirked at Alec’s cum-smeared face, but pulled Alec into a heated kiss, unbothered by it, chasing Magnus' taste on his lover's lips and tongue. 

Magnus groaned contentedly when they lay all together in bed, curled into each other, spent from the day and even more spent from the shower. Alec mapped out Jace's body, trailing down his frame with his index finger, a small frown on his face.

“What is it, darling?” Magnus turned to look at Alec, curious about what the reason for that frown was. 

“It's probably nothing, but…” Alec' s voice trailed away.

“What?” Jace was now curious too. He blinked himself out of his drowsy state to scrutinize Alec. “Spill it.” 

Alec bit his lip. Probably it was nothing, but he had wondered for quite a while now. And in the shower, and just now, he had wondered again. “Magnus, do you think Jace looks older than fifteen years ago when we met? Or I?” 

Magnus frowned now himself. He had not paid much attention to that, being so used to his own body not aging at all that he had not registered that his lovers should age. And it were just fifteen years, but still. Isabelle had clearly aged, Max as well. Luke. All mortals had aged in these years between the rebellion and now… except them. “No. Now you mention it, I think he doesn't look different at all. Or you. You don't have crinkles or grey hair or anything.” 

“Or a bald head for that matter,” Jace snorted, referring to the Lightwood trait of losing their hair in their thirties. 

“Jace,” Alec just huffed. “I am serious. I think we haven't aged. Not since… well I don't know. Since Magnus.”

“Or since we _corrupted_ our bond.” Jace added, dead serious now. “Can that be, Magnus? A side effect?” 

Magnus hummed pensively, turning the idea in his head. Well, it _could._ That the corruption of the bond led to a curse was a well-known legend, and especially at the beginning, he had closely monitored Alec and Jace to see if anything strange happened to them. He had examined them with his magic, but they had never shown any sign of turning into real Nephilim or into another kind of evil. So he had just assumed that the curse was not real. But immortality… could clearly be considered a curse. He himself had thought like that so many times, watching loved ones die of old age over and over again. And in the end - all legends were true.

“I suppose it could. Let me check with Catarina and her healer friends tomorrow, they are more experienced in this area. They should be able to confirm it. Or not.” 

All three fell silent for a while. “Would you mind, Magnus?” Jace's voice sounded smaller than normal, looking up at him with a searching gaze. Committing to forever when you were immortal was something entirely different than committing to a mortal forever.

Magnus looked at him, surprised. “Why would I mind? You two being immortal would be the greatest gift i could ever ask for. Would you mind, though? Or you?”

Both were quick to shake their heads, both smiling radiantly back at him. They had talked about how the knowledge pained both of them that one day they would have to leave Magnus behind and move on to a place he couldn’t follow, but back then they hadn’t seen another possibility, as both couldn’t think of becoming a Vampire. But the prospect of sharing eternity with Magnus now the way they were… 

“No. I love you, Magnus. And you, Alec. And a few years back the prospect of being immortal would have frightened me, but not now. Not with you two to share immortality with me.” 

Alec and Magnus just nodded. There was nothing to add to that, so they just leaned in, to kiss Jace. To kiss each other. To kiss them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my longest and one of my most emotional challenging stories comes to an end - thank you for reading and giving me support via kudos and/or comments, that really means a lot and kept me going!
> 
> In case you haven't checked out Jessa's amazing art yet, you absolutely have to - it's gorgeous! Just follow the link in the "Inspired by" section below. And if you have already, have another look 😉

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are loved 💙

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Inspired by ‘A Darker Shade of Love’](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27622010) by [Jessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessa/pseuds/Jessa)




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